The “Perfect” Partner

Reflection Question… Tell me if you think your description of the “perfect partner” would be what you need to have a lasting healthy romantic relationship? Why or why not?

Activity 1: Write a list of of things you are looking for in a perfect partner. Turn to your partner and compare what you each have.

What 2 things on your list do you think attributes to a healthy relationship (circle) What 2 things will attribute to an unhealthy relationship (circle)

What is a soul mate? Write it on the whiteboard

SOUL MATES DO EXIST. People tend to have a checklist of what they want in someone else. Instead, he says people should make checklists of what they themselves lack. "A soul mate is not your double—it's rather someone who fills in the blanks.”

A SOUL MATE IS SOMEONE WITH WHOM YOU NEVER HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF. Instantaneous sense of comfort—you begin to feel comfortable with all of your flaws because this person just accepts you,” "They still love you for your virtue, but they accept you for your flaws as well.”

A SOUL MATE IS SOMEONE WITH WHOM YOU CAN BE HONEST. "When you are around a soul mate, you feel this instantaneous need to confess—you want to share things that are utterly personal because you're are not afraid that you are going to be thrown out as a result.”

THE SOUL MATE CHECKLIST: Do I find this person attractive, am I drawn to them? Is this a good person with a good heart? Do I respect this person? Does this person love children? Does this person have the capacity to put others before him or herself? Can he or she empathize with another person's plight? Is this person charitable? Not just in pocket, but in person? Do they give of themselves to others? Is this person nonjudgmental? Does this person live for something other than the material and the transitory? Is this person humble and not arrogant? When he or she hurts you, are they forthcoming with an apology?

How do you think movies and love songs portray love?

They focus on the process of falling in love, but forget about mentioning… Loving for the long haul Generously extending oneself day after day, while receiving the kind of constancy and kindness that weaves one’s broken heart back together. Focusing on how to sustain love Compassion, generosity, and kindness should go beyond gender, title, form of a relationship

Reflection Question… Tell me if you think your description of the “perfect partner” would be what you need to have a lasting healthy romantic relationship? Why or why not?

References: http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/pop-culture/2077-why-your-perfect-mate-checklist-won-t-find-you-love/ http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Finding-a-Soul-Mate