The Impact of Bullying: Our role in minimizing bullying Jeff Arseneaux & Sharon Delvisco Together We Can conference November 2018 The Impact of Bullying: Our role in minimizing bullying JEFF ARSENEAUX

Who am I A man with a major life disability A man that has been bullied. For a child with a major disability, every day is a struggle. A man whose entire life was impacted by being bullied. I spent 30 years in denial of the fact that Jeff Arseneaux has Cerebral Palsy JEFF ARSENEAUX

Who am I ADVOCACY Committee Member – Regional Advisory Committee for Region 9, Parishes of Washington, Saint Tammany, Saint Helena and Tangipahoa Board Member – AAIDD Presenter’s Committee Board Member – Families Helping Families Arc of Louisiana JEFF ARSENEAUX

Who am I GOVERNMENT TESTIMONY I appreciate the advocacy of Mr. Arseneaux and I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Jeff over the last year and it’s very obvious to see why he is a great public speaker. He’s entertaining, he’s heartfelt, and any group is lucky to have him participating with them, and we are fortunate to have him our community. People need to hear his story. -Senator Sharon Hewitt Mr. Arseneaux gives back aplenty to the State of Louisiana. -Senator Eric Lafleur When I go home at night it makes me feel good inside that there’s people like Mr. Arseneaux working in the direction that they’re working. -Senator Jack Donahue JEFF ARSENEAUX

Definition of Bullying Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.  JEFF ARSENEAUX

Statistics Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year. Approximately 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying. 17% of American students report feeling bullied 2 to 3 times a month or more within a school semester. 1 Suicide every 5 days JEFF ARSENEAUX

ExcerCise Think of a time when you were bullied. Think about a time when you were a bully. What does it mean to fit in. Why do I feel like I don’t fit in? Now, think about “ who are you”? JEFF ARSENEAUX

Types of bullying Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:Teasing Name-calling Inappropriate sexual comments Taunting Threatening to cause harm JEFF ARSENEAUX

Why do I feel the need to fit in? Am I Cool? Do I fit in? How do I fit in? Why do I feel the need to fit in? What can I do to fit in? JEFF ARSENEAUX

Kids that are bullied Negative physical, academic, and mental health issues. Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood. Health complaints Decreased academic achievement—GPA and standardized test scores—and school participation. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school. A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied. JEFF ARSENEAUX

Kids that are bullied 1 2 3 4 5 ARSENEAUX JEFF Abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults 1 Get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school 2 Engage in early sexual activity 3 Have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults  4 Abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children 5 JEFF ARSENEAUX

Why won’t kids ask for help HELPLESS Bullying can make a child feel helpless. Kids may want to handle it on their own to feel in control again. They may fear being seen as weak or a tattletale. RETALIATION Kids may fear backlash from the kid who bullied them. HUMILIATING Bullying can be a humiliating experience. Kids may not want adults to know what is being said about them, whether true or false. They may also fear that adults will judge them or punish them for being weak. ISOLATION Kids who are bullied may already feel socially isolated. They may feel like no one cares or could understand. REJECTION Kids may fear being rejected by their peers. JEFF ARSENEAUX

Signs of a bully Get into physical or verbal fights Have friends who bully others Are increasingly aggressive Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently Have unexplained extra money or new belongings Blame others for their problems Don’t accept responsibility for their actions Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity JEFF ARSENEAUX

Signs of a child being bullied Unexplainable injuries Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch. Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide Stop bullying.gov JEFF ARSENEAUX

We are not alone Simple communication Preparation What if’s scenario’s JEFF ARSENEAUX

Parents Simple communication - Once a week discussion Preparation - What if scenario's Behavior change -Clothes - Routine JEFF ARSENEAUX

Parent When is the right time to take action-ASAP When do I sit back and empower my child When do I do nothing- NEVER Become an active listener Make complaint to school Keep detailed record Speak to schools counselor's or other counselor’s Seek legal advice JEFF ARSENEAUX

Am I over reacting? It’s never an over reaction to feel your child's pain Recognize the difference between everyday childhood experiences and real bullying Let the child work out normal bothers with advice but not interference Respond rationally, not emotionally JEFF ARSENEAUX

Bystander Is there such a thing as an innocent bystander? No What is the right thing to do ? What is the wrong thing to do ? Helpful bystanders directly intervene by discouraging the bully, defending the victim, or directing the situation Get help by rallying support from peers to stand up against bullying or reporting the bullying to adults JEFF ARSENEAUX

Speak up Don’t be afraid You can make a difference We can stop bullying JEFF ARSENEAUX

Do I allow bullying to change who I am ? Attitude towards people Appearance Enthusiasm towards life JEFF ARSENEAUX

Am I the bully ? How do I recognize? Who is responsible? What do I do? Do I get called out? How do I stop? JEFF ARSENEAUX

Resources https://www.stopbullying.gov/ - US Department of Health and Human Services http://stompoutbullying.org/ - #SeeMe Campaign https://www.antibullyingpro.com/ - free videos, etc. Study.com free worksheets/activities online https://study.com/academy/practice/anti-bullying-quiz-worksheet-for-kids.html http://http://printableworksheets.in/?dq=anti%20bullying – free worksheets for activities Education.com has free worksheets https://www.education.com/worksheets/?msclkid=67af3040aee315d7d3646ab3bbe d59e9&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Bing_Search_USA% 3AWorksheets_Concept&utm_term=printable%20worksheets&utm_content=pri ntable%20worksheets