PERSONAL NARRATIVE WRITING How to bring your writing to life and engage your audience!

To create an interesting story, the writer needs to show not tell the reader about people, places, and things they are writing about. Showing creates mental pictures in the reader’s mind. When readers get a clear picture, they are more engaged in the writer’s story.

WORD CHOICE “The difference between any word and the right word is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” - Mark Twain The exact word means that you convey precisely what you, the writer, want the reader to see and you do it in a way that is fresh, clean, concise, and accurate. Why choose the word crimson over red ? Why furious over angry? Is your cat orange or is he pumpkin-colored? Did the wind blow or did it slap? Did the river run or roar?

PROBLEMS WITH WORD CHOICE The vocabulary is too simple, too general, too vague. It just doesn’t say anything. Problem 2: The student suffers from thesaurus-chained-to-the-desk syndrome. Learn to write for yourself Problem 3: The language is not well suited to the topic or the audience. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!

Jot down 5 favorite/cool/interesting words

Showing vs. Telling – BOO! Often time, writers fall into the habit of telling a reader about an event, but to engage the reader, make them feel like they are in the situation with you by vividly describing it. Don’t just tell me – “It was incredibly funny” Instead, show me with vivid, sensory details

THE DIFFERENCE Telling Sentence: It was an unusual cat. Showing Sentence: With yellow eyes glowing red, long, black fur that stood on end, a mouth full of sharp pointed teeth that emitted a yowl like a tiger, I knew that the small animal before me was no ordinary cat.

BAD Example / Telling: We released balloons into the air. GOOD Example / SHOWING: The thin ribbon-like string slipped through my hand as the balloon ascended towards the sky seemingly decreasing in size as it floated upward until it got swallowed in the clouds.

BAD Example / Telling: I was afraid and confused. GOOD Example / SHOWING: No words came to my now quivering lips as silence drowned out all of my disappearing melancholy thoughts. Sudden movements caught my squinting eyes under the harsh light as I waited for my body and mind to cooperate in an unbroken fashion

Telling: This is really generalized language; this is the writer telling me what a sick woman is. I can’t see this image. I can’t visualize “lively” or “symptoms of illness” or her “not herself.” Showing: Now this is a specific sick woman. Now I can see her. I can start to understand her specific illness. And remember, you can alter the details to convey a specific kind of sick: perhaps she’s vomiting; maybe her face is red with fever. Those are the kinds of details that make the writing stand out.

PRACTICE Telling: One day George was riding his bike. A guy came up to him. He chased George into a dark alley. George rode through it fast and the man stopped to rest. How could we revise this using action, sensory details, dialogue and personal thoughts? With a partner, rewrite the paragraph above on a separate sheet of paper. **Make sure to keep in mind/answer the following questions in your rewrite: Where was George when he saw the man? What else did he see as he rode? What did the man look like? What did he do? Did he say anything? What was George thinking as the man approached him?

EXAMPLE George pedaled into the dark alley. Off to his right he glimpsed a trash can. Crouched behind the can was a man in a short-sleeved shirt. George could see a tattoo on his arm. (sensory details) Seeing George, the man held out a cigarette. “Gotta light?” he asked. (dialogue) “Smoking’s bad for you,” George said. Suddenly his adrenaline began pumping. What if this guy tried to kidnap him? (personal thoughts)

PRACTICE BAD Example / Telling: My family sadly gathered around my grandma’s hospital bed

EXAMPLE GOOD Example / Showing: The rhythmic beeping of the monitors surrounding my grandmother’s hospital bed told me that her heart was still beating, but the look in my families’ faces revealed that it wouldn’t be much longer. After one final squeeze she slowly released my hand as the monitors came to a depressing halt.

Give this picture a story

Personal Narratives A personal narrative tells the true story of something that happened to you. To write your own personal narrative, choose a story from your life to write about. It could be a special memory with someone you care about or an experience you will never forget. 

Describe orange to a blind person (1 sentence only) Now, based on your own life experiences, write something on the following: Describe orange to a blind person (1 sentence only)

Describe pain (no more than 2 sentences)

Explain love (no more than 3 sentences) Choose one of these last 3 to turn in for exit ticket grade

Homework: as practice, find a photograph that means something to you and give the story – no more than one page typed