Interpersonal Relationship Skills Basanta Raj Sigdel Shailaja Upadhyaya

Forethought No matter what we do, we do it with people. People create technology. People implement the technology. People make it all happen. People ultimately use whatever it is we create. No matter how small your organization or how technical its process, it takes people to be successful. Harry E. Chambers Author, The Bad Attitude Survival Guide NASC 2017

Facts and inferences Diva, buyer with XYZ company, was scheduled for a10 o’ clock meeting in Singh’s office to discuss the terms of a large order. On the way to that office, the buyer slipped on a freshly waxed floor and as a result received a badly bruised leg. By the time Singh was notified of the accident, Diva was on the way to the hospital for X-ray. Singh called the hospital but no one there seemed to know anything about Diva. It is possible that Singh called the wrong hospital. NASC 2017

Facts and Inferences contd.. 1. Mr. Diva is a buyer. 2.Diva was supposed to meet with Singh. 3. Diva was scheduled for a 10 “0”clock meeting. 4.The accident occurred at the XYZ company. 5. Diva was taken to the hospital for X-ray. 6.No-one of the hospital which Singh called knew anything about Diva. 7. Singh had called the wrong hospital. NASC 2017

Learning Point Listening is the Key Taking notes?? Confirming understanding. NASC 2017

WE KNOW THIS communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages. Communication is the key for all relations NASC 2017

How does a person communicate? I like your Idea. I disagree. I hate it. I LOVE WHAT YOU JUST SAID…!! NASC 2017

Feelings and Attitudes Words 7% Tone of voice 38% Nonverbal behavior 55% Albert Mehrabian ,Communication Studies NASC 2017

Use them all ! NASC 2017

Interpersonal relationship Reciprocal social and emotional interaction between two or more individuals in an environment Close association between individuals who share common interests and goal

Principles of interpersonal communication It is inescapable It is irreversible It is complicated NASC 2017

Interpersonal Communications What people talk to each other? How people talk to each other? Why people talk to each other the way they do? We followed a framework.. Transaction Analysis NASC 2017

Exercise NASC 2017

Memories come with Emotions… …Theory Human personality is multifaceted Memories come with Emotions… Ah !!Ego states Ah! Ego States! Sigmund Freud Wilder Penfield Eric Berne NASC 2017

Ego states.. “a consistent pattern of feeling and experience directly related to a corresponding consistent pattern of behavior.” Reflection of deeper rooted psychological orientation. Parent Child Adult NASC 2017

Self reflection Remember something your parents/guardians often said that you still believe Remember your childhood and explain how you felt about the rain.. Share one learning from your own experience… NASC 2017

Understanding Ego states Parent: The parent represents a massive collection of recordings in the brain of external events experienced or perceived in approximately the first five years of life(or more). “Never talk to strangers” “If you are scared ,wake me up” “ People with Tattoos are bad people” NASC 2017

“It was fun walking barefoot in the rain” Child: The Child represents the recordings in the brain of internal events associated with external events the child perceives. “It was fun walking barefoot in the rain” “When I saw my teacher angry ,I was really scared” NASC 2017

Allows a person to validate and evaluate “parental” and “child” data. Adult: Allows a person to validate and evaluate “parental” and “child” data. "You have just made an autonomous, objective appraisal of the situation and are stating these thought-processes, or the problems you perceive, or the conclusions you have come to, in a non- prejudicial manner.” NASC 2017

Interpersonal relationship Stimulus.. Response Transaction Parent Adult Child Parent Adult Child NASC 2017

Key for PAC Controlling Parent = do’s and don’ts, set limits, make judgment without logic, rationale and analysis. Nurturing Parent = loving, caring, protecting and showing sympathy. Adult = logical, rational, and analytical. Natural Child = spontaneous, carefree playfulness, curious, energitic,and rebellious. Adaptive Child = submissive Litte Professor = creative, institutive and manipulative NASC 2017

Identify Your dominant Ego State Exercise’s Result Identify Your dominant Ego State NASC 2017

Building Interpersonal Relationship Understanding your counterpart’s Ego state. Understanding what ego state he/she is wanting you to be in.. Responding to your benefit For All of these analysis your Adult Ego state should be Dominant!! NASC 2017

Complementary transactions CP and CP NC and NC CP and AC A to A Your response?? stimulus people who are not punctual do not work hard NASC 2017

Improving Interpersonal Communication One to one Transaction Analysis Listening-----Understanding------Responding One to Many Seeking information Bringing in Testing understanding Proposing Giving information Shutting out Disagreeing Defending/Attacking NASC 2017

Improving…….. listening skills Paraphrasing: what the speaker has said to confirm understanding Looking for central ideas in the message Clarifying and asking questions until the message is clear. Concentrating on the message, not on the speaker Being aware of listening blocks and avoiding them. NASC 2017

Improving Interpersonal Communication Seeking information Asking questions to find out what people think Bringing in Used to involve a quiet member of the team in the conversation, normally includes using their name Testing understanding Making certain that you have really understood another’s contribution, usually by asking questions Proposing Suggesting something on which the team can take action. ‘it’s really cold today’ is not a proposal, ‘let’s turn up the heating’ is Giving information Offering views and making statements Shutting out Any way in which you stop another person from contributing. It can include interruptions, side conversations, asking a question of one person but letting another answer, etc. It can be very subtle Disagreeing Anything that says you can’t go along with what’s being proposed or stated Defending/Attacking Graduating from disagreeing; getting off the topic and talking about the person. ‘Why can’t you ever make a sensible suggestion?’ is one example. It usually results in the other party fighting back and can continue in a loop for a long time. NASC 2017

Games people play for recognition It Weren’t For You What If Yes But NASC 2017

Confirming responses Messages that tell you that you are valued by the other person Examples of confirming messages: “you matter to me” “you are special” Nonverbally Thumbs up,agree-nodd,smile,wide eyes,leaning front..etc. NASC 2017

Value assumptions/life positions I’m ok, You’re not ok. I’m not ok, You’re ok. I’m not ok, You’re also not ok. I’m ok, You’re also ok. NASC 2017

Thank you. NASC 2017