How to Raise Wise, Godly Children Training Your Child to Obey Dealing with Rebellion Training in Righteousness Aiming for the Heart

How to Spank Your Child* The “When” of Spanking When does a child need a spanking? When you have given a directive that he has heard, and is within his capacity to understand and he has not obeyed without challenge, without excuse, or without delay. If you accept challenge, delay, or excuses, you are not training in submission. You are, rather, training your children how to manipulate authorities and live on the ragged edge of disobedience. * Gleaned from Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart

How to Spank Your Child The “How” of Spanking Never spank in anger. It is important that you maintain self–control: A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. (Proverbs 25:28 ESV) We recommend that when you are angry, you instruct your child to go to his or her room to wait for you. This will give you ample time to cool down ... in order to gain control of yourself and to pray to God for wisdom and grace to discipline properly. (Paul and Karen Tautges, Help! My Toddler Rules the House)

How to Spank Your Child* The “How” of Spanking Take your child to a private place where he can be spoken with in privacy… The object is not to humiliate the child. You show respect for him by giving him privacy. And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private… (Mat 18:15 NAS). Tell him specifically what he has done or failed to do… The spanking should always address a specific attitude or incident. Never spank for just “general purposes” or because you’ve “had it”. * Gleaned from Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart

How to Spank Your Child The “How” of Spanking Secure an acknowledgement from the child of what he has done. This will often take some time. Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. (Proverbs 28:13 ESV) The conversation may go something like this: Father: Daddy told you that you should pick up your toys, didn’t he? Child: [child nodding] Yes. Father: You didn’t obey me, did you? Child: [looking down] No. Father: You know what Daddy must do. He must spank you…

How to Spank Your Child* The “How” of Spanking Remind him that the function of spanking is not venting your frustration, but to restore him to the place in which God has promised blessing. Tell the child how many swats he will receive. (This is an important signal that you are in control of yourself.) After you have spanked, take the child up on your lap and hug him, telling him how much you love him, how much it grieves you to spank him and how you hope it will not be necessary again. * Gleaned from Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart

How to Spank Your Child* The “How” of Spanking At this point there should be complete restoration between you and your child. If he is mad at you, if he refuses to receive your affection, then something is wrong. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Heb 12:11 ESV) If discipline has not yielded a harvest of peace and righteousness, it is not finished. * Gleaned from Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart