Analyzing a successful In-class Essay

The Prompt: When we face pain in relationships our first response is often to sever bonds rather than to maintain commitment.” Bell Hooks Part A In your own words, state the main point of this passage. Part B Write a 1 ½ page minimum essay in which you take a position for or against the author’s main point. In other words, do you agree or disagree? Why or Why not?

Part A Student response: The Bell Hooks quote is stating that when we are in any relationship, we have made a commitment to the other person, and when there is a problem, we find it easier to cancel all communication and forget the commitment. It’s easier to walk away and avoid the pain when we should use the opportunity to show our commitment.

Student response Part B: Introduction Humans don't care much for pain and are very impatient beings. This is why the quote by Bell Hooks is so agreeable. It states that when we have a problem with a relationship, we find it easier to cut all ties to the person and forget about them. After all, it is easier to walk away than it is to feel. People quite often leave a relationship just because they are struggling to stay uninvolved.

Student response part b: Body 1 People tend to shy away from the emotions no one like such as sadness and pain. When we experience these, we tend to not think clearly. When we have a problem in a relationship, we tend to say that we need a break or we need time apart rather than trying to solve the problem. When we say that we need a break, it is the start of losing all commitment we have with the other. We stop making eye contact, we stop phoning every night to ask about their day, and eventually, we stop caring about the other. Not all relationships are at this level of contact, but we will do it with acquaintances as well. If there is any chance we will feel hurt, we stop all contact. What we should be doing is trying to strengthen bonds with contact, even if it is painful. After a while, things will get better.

Student response part b: body 2 People also tend to be impatient and we do not want to deal with the process of keeping a commitment if it will take longer than we want. Relationships take time to develop, and if something goes wrong during development, we tend to just give up. It is not worth our time, so we end the relationship and try to find an easier one or we stop trying altogether. People take time to get to know, but at the same time, people are impatient. We look for excuses to end relationships because we do not want to put the time into developing it. If something goes wrong, it could cause us to decide we do not need a relationship like that, but it is mainly because it is not moving as quickly as we would like. Cutting ties and severing bonds are much quicker than working something out and growing a well-developed relationship.

Student response part b: Conclusion People tend to look for ways out of relationships because they do not want to deal with pain, emotion, or waiting. We do not like the work that goes into making a commitment and making a solid relationship. We like to work our way out of these uncomfortable situations, and the mostly involves complete lack of communication. Hooks’ quote hits this mark quite well.