Relationships

What do you already know? TRUE or FALSE An abusive relationship starts off as abusive from the very beginning. Abusers try to isolate their partner from her/his friends and family. If a guy says, “I’ll kill any guy who looks at you,” he must really love you. It is normal for your dating partner to have different rules for you than he/she does for him/herself. Physical abuse often starts with rough-housing. The more times per day your boyfriend or girlfriend calls you, the healthier your relationship is. Girls cannot be the abusers in dating relationships. If your dating partner threatens to harm him/herself, you don’t have to take it seriously because he/she is just trying to manipulate you. The goal of an abuser is to have power and control over you. If you want to be viewed as a young adult, you should not rely on your parents to help you get out of an abusive relationship.

In your notes, define what a HEALTHY relationship is In your notes, define what a HEALTHY relationship is. Then, define what you think an UNHEALTHY relationship is.

Infatuation vs. Mature Love all consuming desire for a partner based on fantasy often mistaken for love Attraction or lust Mature Love: Strong attachment for another person Know the person very well Based on psychological intimacy Each partner brings out the best in the other

LOVE Commitment Monogamous relationship: making a commitment to one person Marriage: the highest form of commitment in our society Intimacy: physical or emotional connection with another person Builds slowly as two people become close

Develop a Healthy Relationship How to Develop a Healthy Relationship Healthy intimate relationships grow in 5 stages: 1. Attraction – something catches your attention 2. Casual friendship- enjoy interests and activities together; on “best behavior” 3. Close friendship- spend more time together, learn about feelings and values 4. Intimate friendship- reveal faults, reality sets in, accept for who the person is

(Continued) 5. Mature love- each partner continues to mature emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and socially – resolve conflict in a healthy way Advantages of Sexual Abstinence: No fear of pregnancy or disease Allows for relationship to grow in a healthy way Build self-confidence by maintaining values Creates a sense of freedom (lack of worrying)

S.T.O.P S- stop the activity that threatens you to be tempted to engage in sexual intercourse T- think about what is happening, does what you are doing go with your values O- other activities: find a different activity to do P- plan: plan how to remain in charge of the situation *Tea video clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kU Breaking up and How to Cope Expect to feel grief Avoid seeking a new partner too soon

ABUSE 1 in 3 teens experience relationship abuse 3 types of abuse: Physical Verbal Sexual HELP: - National Domestic Violence/Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233 - Teachers, school counselors, nurses, doctors, police, local rape crisis centers, etc.