ACTIVE LISTENING FOR NEGOTIATORS Detective Mizel Garcia Crisis Intervention Team Special Investigations Division

“I have three demands or I’ll kill the boy!”

Negotiators assess the situation from next door

Negotiator initiates contact

Negotiations conducted

Negotiations continue

Negotiations concluded

The definition of a crisis is any situation in which a person’s ability to cope is exceeded Barricaded subjects High risk suicide Domestic violence Mental illness Substance abuse Violence in the workplace

Stages of a Crisis Pre-Crisis or initial stage Crisis Stage Adaptation Stage Resolution Stage

Definition and Purpose of Crisis Intervention The short term, time- limited intervention, designed to re-establish a person’s equilibrium and to solve an immediate problem Diffuse intense emotions Buy time Establish rapport Return subject to normal functioning level Gain intelligence

Recognition and understanding are the first weapons in dealing with the chaos of a crisis Logic and reasoning are clouded by elevated emotions often leading to irrational behavior Frequently associated with a surge of adrenaline creating heightened levels of anxiety Situation is perceived to be a threat to the emotional or psychological needs of a person

(Continued) Crisis occurs when usual coping strategies fail Stress tends t be cumulative wherein multiple stressors may lead to a crisis event Subjects in crisis generally turn inward rather than seeking out support systems and will feel isolated Generally a precipitating event within the last 24-48 hours

Types of unexpected events that influence crisis Divorce Loss of a job Sickness, Injury, or death Deterioration of mental health Loss of health Demotion or loss of status Interruption of plan

People communicate on two levels Content- The simple facts (the story) Emotions- the emotional reaction to the facts (feelings about circumstances)

Listening for Emotions Listen for the emotions surrounding the content. Emotional reaction and subsequent behavior make the situation a crisis, not the facts of the situation. How a person feels about the situation will strongly influence their behavior. Controlling the subject’s emotions will help control the subject’s behavior.

Active Listening A crucial skill that is essential to the successful resolution of a hostage/barricade incident A basic building block in the establishment of rapport An intelligence tool A useful technique for de-escalation

Levels of Listening Non-listening- actively ignoring the speaker, e.g. panhandlers, teenagers with parents, and spouse during football game Passive listening- hearing the , but perhaps not the meaning, e.g. car radio, kids fighting at home

Levels of Listening Listening- hearing the words and the meaning behind them, e.g. discussion with a spouse or child in reference to a significant event Active listening- hearing the speaker’s words and the meaning behind them. Helping the speaker reach new levels of understanding, e.g. listening to a friend or loved one who is in crisis

Seven Active Listening Skills Emotional labeling Paraphrasing Reflecting or mirroring Effective pauses Minimal encouragers “I” messages

Emotional labeling Intent of this skill is to respond to the emotion heard in the subject’s voice rather than content Identify the feeling by using… “You sound…” “You seem…” “I hear…” Be aware of missing emotions Listen for conflicts in feelings expressed

Paraphrasing Summarizes in your words what you were just told Creates empathy and rapport because it demonstrates you heard and understand Clarifies content, checks perception, and highlights important issues “Are you telling me…” What you are saying is…”

Reflecting / Mirroring Repeating back the last word or phrase Gives feedback that is very exact Asks for more intelligence without guiding the direction “I did it just because” “Because?”

Effective Pauses An effective pause is silence Use immediately before or after saying something meaningful Most people are not comfortable with silence and feel they must talk Can be used effectively when a subject is trying to psyche you out

Minimal Encouragers Indicate your presence “Uh-huh” “OK” Do not interfere with the normal flow of a conversation Builds rapport and encourages the other subject to continue talking to you

“I” Messages Enables you to let the subject know how they are making you feel, why we feel that way and what they can do to remedy the situation Conveys concern in a non-threatening manner and does not put the subject on the immediate defensive

“I” Messages (Cont’d) I feel… the emotion you are feeling When you… the person’s behavior Because… your reason “I feel disappointed when you make threats, because I thought we were making progress”

Open-Ended Questions Questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no Usually begin with words like “what”, “when”, “how”, or “where” Help get the conversation started and focus on the subject’s feelings Close-ended questions make it seem like an interrogation and makes rapport difficult

Barriers to Active Listening Arguing Criticizing Jumping to conclusions Pacifying Derailing Moralizing Name Calling Ordering

Empathy versus Sympathy Empathy implies identification with the understanding of another’s feelings and thereby builds rapport and trust. Sympathy implies pity.

Initial Contact Use your name, not your rank, and your agency affiliation Use the suspect’s name if possible Minimize distractions Relax, breathe deeply, be calm Think through what you’re going to say, take your time; speak slowly and calmly

Initial Contact (cont’d) Use a concerned tone, project genuineness and sincerity Don’t forget to ask him to come out, give up, let people go, and ask early on.

Good Openings “Tell me what seems to be the problem?” “What has happened in there?” “Is there anything I can do for you?” “Tell me what got you into this situation” “Are you ok, is everyone else also ok?” Ask the question, then BE QUIET

Helpful Hints Be who you are Don’t lie Speak with subject’s on their level Be firm You won’t be able to establish rapport with everyone