Competence vs Likeability What was said… + 2 1 COMPETENT JERK Very Competent Not Likable LOVABLE STAR Very Competent Very Likable Competence 4 3 INCOMPETENT JERK Not Very Competent Not Likable LOVABLE FOOL Not Very Competent Very Likable - + Likability Source: Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo, “Competent Jerks, Lovable Fools and the Formation of Social Networks,” Harvard Business Review, June 2005; Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo, “When Competence Is Irrelevant: The Role of Interpersonal Affect in Task-Related ties,” Administrative Science Quarterly, December 2008.

Competence vs Likeability What actually happened… + Mostly avoided 1 COMPETENT JERK Very Competent Not Likable LOVABLE STAR Very Competent Very Likable Competence Desperately avoided 2 INCOMPETENT JERK Not Very Competent Not Likable LOVABLE FOOL Not Very Competent Very Likable - + Likability Source: Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo, “Competent Jerks, Lovable Fools and the Formation of Social Networks,” Harvard Business Review, June 2005; Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo, “When Competence Is Irrelevant: The Role of Interpersonal Affect in Task-Related ties,” Administrative Science Quarterly, December 2008.

Speak well of others, even when they are not in the room Show Your Character Do what you say you will do Collaborate; don’t compete Say, upfront, what you want Give more than you get Be professional Keep confidences Be reliable Be on time Meet deadlines Keep commitments Go the extra mile Go for the win/win situation Speak well of others, even when they are not in the room

Do an excellent job – the first time Show Your Competence Continue to develop professional capability Provide testimonials from satisfied clients Stay at the leading edge of your profession Take a visible role Follow through Speak or write Win praise from peers Give more than you get Be sure your work meets – or exceeds – expectations Become a recognised expert Take lifelong learning seriously Provide a sample of demonstration Do an excellent job – the first time

The Long Game Relationship Stages Accidents …are random encounters – people you’ll never see again, unless one of you reaches out. Acquaintances …and you have a contact in common. You can always find them through that contact. Associates …are members of the same groups you are a member of (professional association, club, firm etc.) Actives …exchange information and resources with you Advocates …send opportunities your way, speak up for you, and champion you Allies …are committed to your life-long business and personal success and give you constructive criticism, commiserate with you and celebrate with you