What is Communication?

Definition Communication is a two way exchange of information. There are three types of communication:

Verbal communication through language using words having a spoken conversation

Nonverbal communication other than through spoken language 70 to 90% of our communication is non verbal

Nonverbal ~ Examples body language

Nonverbal ~ Examples eye contact

Nonverbal ~ Examples muscle tension

Nonverbal ~ Examples posture

Nonverbal ~ Examples mannerisms

Nonverbal ~ Examples proxemics (How close we stand when talking to someone.) Role Play #1 – Non Verbal Communication

Role Play #1 ~ Nonverbal Communication DONNA: Hi, Isabel. Look, do you have a few minutes? There’s something I really want to talk to you about. ISABEL: Oh sure, Donna. Of course I have time for you! What is it you wanted to talk to me about? DONNA: Well, I’m having a problem with this guy Charles at work. He’s sending me a lot of mixed signals. Sometimes we get along great during our shifts, but other times, he gets really angry at me, and will yell at me for the tiniest mistake. It’s really embarrassing, and makes me anxious about going into work. I’m thinking about telling my boss, but I don’t want Charles to get mad at me. ISABEL: (Acts distracted and annoyed that Donna is taking up her time. She taps her foot, looks at her watch, twirls her hair, looks away, picks her nails, etc.) Oh really? Well, I just want you to know that I’m here for you, Donna. What message is Isabel communicating to Donna through her nonverbal actions?

Paraverbal communicating not by what you say, but how you say it voice qualities/voice tone (Is your voice flat or monotone?) rate of speech (how fast or slow you talk) volume (how loud or quiet you talk) inflection (which words you emphasize; how you say certain words) Role Play #2 – Paraverbal Communication

Role Play #2 ~ Paraverbal Communication MOM: Good morning, honey! Just so you know, I put your signed permission form on the kitchen table so you wouldn’t forget it. KID: (in a loud voice, dripping with sarcasm) Oh thanks, Mom – I really appreciate that. VS KID: (in a sincere tone of voice) Oh thanks, Mom – I really appreciate that. What is the difference between these two scenarios?

Why is it important to have good communication skills? for your message to be heard to get your point across to get the job done to make sure that instructions are followed properly to avoid mistakes or problems for people to get along (ie., to avoid conflict; misinterpretation; etc.)

Good Communication Skills vs Bad Communication skills making good eye contact sitting or standing attentively nodding as the other person talks smiling and responding to the other person speaking clearly waiting your turn to speak looking away, or rolling your eyes slouching tapping your fingers, or looking away crossing your arms and sighing mumbling interrupting

Activity Think of a time when you had a conversation that ended in a negative way (eg., you got in a fight; you got in trouble; etc.) Describe the situation. Who were you talking to? Why were you having the conversation? How did the conversation end? Describe the reasons why the conversation went poorly. Come up with at least three ways that the communication could have been improved.

Make sure all members of your group are involved! Role Play! Working in small groups, you will be assigned a communications scenario. First, two members of your group will act out the initial scenario. (Follow the guidelines of the scenario, but be creative when you’re bringing the situation to life!) Next, one to two members of your group will explain what went wrong what could be improved Finally, two members of your group will act out a revised scenario that illustrates good communication skills. Make sure all members of your group are involved!

Scenario One You ask your mom to borrow the car for the weekend. She rolls her eyes and says that the last time you borrowed the car, you didn’t refill the gas tank. You yell at her and tell her that she never lets you do anything. She yells at you and tells you to go to your room. Needless to say, you don’t get the car for the weekend. What went wrong? How could the communication in this situation be improved?

Scenario Two What went wrong? Your teacher asks you to hand in your homework. You ignore the teacher and keep talking to your friend. Your teacher demands that you go in the hall immediately. You tell the teacher to “&*%$! off, and storm out of the classroom. The next day, you get a detention for swearing and skipping class. What went wrong? How could the communication in this situation be improved?

Scenario Three You get your work schedule for the week, and you’re scheduled to work on Friday, even though you asked for the night off a month in advance. You ask your boss why you were scheduled to work that night. Your boss tells you tough luck – not everyone gets what they want. You tell your boss that you think it’s unfair that you can’t have one night off, especially when you requested it a month in advance. Your boss tells you that you have an attitude problem, and fires you on the spot. What went wrong? How could the communication in this situation be improved?

Scenario Four You and your partner have been dating for three months. When you arrive at school, you surprise him/her with flowers to commemorate the occasion. Your partner vaguely says “thanks”, and quickly stuffs the flowers into his/her locker. The bell rings, and your partner moves to take your hand so you can walk to class together. Hurt by his/her reaction to your surprise, you cross your arms, and briskly walk to class alone. Your partner calls out after you, “What did I do this time?!” What went wrong? How could the communication in this situation be improved?