WHEN NETWORKING, BEING YOURSELF REALLY DOES WORK For All

Introduction It’s common to feel uncertain about how to nurture new business relationships. We know we need to make a good first impression. Making a positive impression during an early encounter affects important long-term outcomes, such as whether we get the job or ink the deal. Consequently, we tend to try out various impression-management strategies, ranging from self-promotion to ingratiation.

One common strategy for getting off on the right foot when networking is to try to learn the other person’s expectations and interests and then tailor the conversation to them. In a study, Sixty-six percent of people said they would use this strategy — which we call “catering” for short — in high-stakes situations like first meetings, and 71% reported believing that it would be the most effective approach in the given situation.

But we found that across different contexts, catering to another person’s interests and expectations, as opposed to behaving authentically, harms performance. Why? Because when a person tries to anticipate and fulfill others’ preferences, it increases his or her anxiety and feelings of in-authenticity.

Example: In a field study, for instance, we examined entrepreneurs’ pitches of their ideas to potential investors. We found that catering harmed investors’ evaluations, while being authentic improved them. As a result, entrepreneurs who used an authentic approach were more likely to receive funding for their ideas than those who catered their pitches to the investors’ expectations and interests. Note that in this and many other networking situations, people lack complete information about the expectations and interests of those with whom they are trying to connect. In fact, when people try to take the perspective of others, their accuracy is surprisingly poor. 

When people engage in catering to others, they try to predict what they wants to hear and act accordingly. But making such predictions is difficult and commonly leads to errors. Therefore, when individuals use a catering strategy while networking, they can fail in at least two ways. First, they may inaccurately predict what the person wants to see and hear. Second, even if their predictions are accurate, they may act in an unconvincing manner because they feel inauthentic, deceitful, or anxious.

The conclusion: Because feeling at ease can go a long way toward leaving a good impression when networking, simply being ourselves is a good solution to dealing with the anxiety and uncertainty of approaching others.

Thank You!