Dealing With Difficult People Micheal Graham Bonneville Joint School District No. 93 Transportation Department grahamm@d93.k12.id.us

DP Personality Traits Chronic Complainers – never seem to be satisfied Blamers – buck never stops here One Uppers – low confidence or low self esteem Tanks – explosive or combative. Looking for a fight, brings out the worst in everything

Bullying – unwanted, aggressive behavior toward an individual that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Linda F. Bluth

Difficult People - Effects Requires time & energy Can cause resentment Physical effects Increase BP Anxiety Fragmented sleep pattern 45% of people targeted by a bully, experience stress-related health problems. Including debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, and clinical depression Zogby Study - 2010

Empathy is…. ‘Under The Surface’ - U Tube Video seeing with the eyes of another listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another

Reacting vs. Responding Resist the urge to judge or assume Stay fact-based Maintain a neutral boundary, do not appease Do not take personally, but know that sometimes it is personal When necessary – involve a ‘Silent Witness’ Document! Document! Document!

Workplace Control the environment Set a professional tone Body language Remain calm

On The Bus Contain the situation – never allow to escalate Body language Involve resources when available Remain calm

The Don’ts Don’t lose your cool Don’t argue Don’t lecture, scold or yell Don’t give false praise Don’t hold a grudge Don’t ignore misbehavior

Key Word – Need When dealing with difficult people, use the word Need I need you to do this for me. You need to sit down! We need to work together to find a solution. Make it a statement! Lessens the chance to say no.

forgive mistakes; punish patterns

Summary Recognize the personality traits Identify Bullying – what is your action plan? Understand through empathy Respond to the situation Set the proper environment Document! Document! Document!