Embedding Quotes

Evidence AND Explanation One of the key differences between the highest scores and the middle range scores of essays on AP tests is that BOTH the evidence AND explanations are relevant and insightful. We want to make sure that we are not only choosing appropriate evidence, but that we are explaining it in a way that goes beyond mere summary.

Evidence AND Explanation Sandwiches If you think of your evidence as a sandwich, it will need something on top and on bottom, otherwise it will be a huge mess. Beth Priem (and other AP graders) calls this an evidence and explanation sandwich.

Top Slice The “top slice” will give context to your quote. This can include: Author Information Piece information Placement in the piece Author’s purpose Author’s tone

Filling Avoid using quotes that are too long or too short. Avoid using quotes that are not relevant. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t cut off your toe. Try to pick approximately 6-9 words

Bottom Slice When explaining your quote, analyze the connection between the new information your quote is providing and the information you have already provided in your topic and thesis sentence. Don’t expect the reader to make this connection! The more you can make the nuances evident, the more effective your overall argument will be. Do not simply restate “what the author is saying”; tell us why we should care, why it is important. Tip: This is often more effective if your bottom slice is more than one sentence.

I’ve noticed You are using a quote to support what you have to say; your essay should be MOSTLY your words with the textual evidence as proof. A quote should be fairly short. Pick out what is important and drop the rest. If you get information from anywhere, you must say where you got the information, even if you paraphrase it.

Try to be Seamless Often it is very obvious where the author’s words start and your words end. Ideally, there should be such a smooth transition that it is difficult to tell which words belong to the author and which words belong to you based solely on how they sound. Example: The Star Belly Sneetches were mean. “’We‘ll have nothing to do with the Plain Belly sort’” (Seuss 6). The Star Belly Sneetches were mean. They shunned the Sneetches who were not like them, saying “’We’ll have nothing to do with the Plain Belly sort’” (Seuss 6). Much like their human counterparts, they were disapproving of those who were different and hateful towards those they felt were inferior.

Some Training Wheels I’ve made copies of some sentence frames that will help kick start the way you write your evidence sandwiches. Feel free to use the sheet until you feel comfortable writing your own. The more you do it, the more natural it will seem, and the less you think about it.

Let’s Practice Together

Your Assignment Read and annotate G. Orwell’s letter to Noel Willmett Write an argumentative paragraph (8-12 sentences) that defends, challenges, or qualifies Orwell’s claims about the future of the world. (For the sake of this assignment, we are going to pretend that Orwell’s letter is contemporary to our time) Format your paragraph in a “They Say, I Say” format. Start by telling the reader what Orwell says in his letter Then write your own opinion on the topic Use two evidence sandwiches