THINK FOR YOURSELF, ACT FOR EVERYONE An Introduction to Humanist Ceremonies Presented by Isabel Russo, Head of Ceremonies 10 July 2018 Welcome Me Shape of next 45 mins: me talk, Q&A, Luke - look at some ceremonies resources on the Understanding Humanism website

What is a Humanist Ceremony? From the beginning of time humans have used ritual to mark important moments in their lives. To help them move through times of transition We need ritual to connect with our deepest thoughts and feelings, hopes and fears. To reconnect to ourselves through times of change. Ritual is a punctuation. A pause - time out of time etc. For humanists, religious ceremonies are not relevant, not an authentic experience - they are (as Peter Brook called it) dead theatre. Who here has been to a Humanist Ceremony? Increase in popularity as we’re moving away from right/wrong acceptable/unacceptable About the person or people at the heart of the ceremony - and about their community

About you... Weddings Couple at the heart of the ceremony Talk about process of working with a celebrant - crafting a ceremony that reflect who you are - creating your own vows etc. Your words - what you’re building teh rest of your life on Witnesed not by god but by people whove lived life with you

Joyful, inclusive, diverse... Joyful, inclusive, diverse, mixed race etc, whichever ceremony type, joy and creativity take centre stage - blown stuffiness out of more traditional models

anytime, anyplace, anywhere... Can happen anytime, any place, anywhere, parents garden, local pub, place where proposal happened, favourite beauty spot etc Church building doesn't have the same significance for non-religious people - in fact can be an antagonistic place for some. Legal situation - in scotland now do more weddings than C of Scotland Jersey, NI

Fight for legal recognition Legal recognition granted in Scotland in 2005 Now there are more humanist marriages a year than those taken by Church of Scotland Jersey and Northern Ireland now changed law to allow humanist marriage to be legally recognised Scotland figures 85 to 5,000 a year - with 50,000 since 2005 Rep of I - 2012 - now 3 times as many as Protestant Church of Ireland NI 22nd June 2017

Freedom to choose... Naming ceremonies fastest growing ceremony type at the moment.. Importance of child being able to choose for themselves when they get older v central to parents choice

Community... Acknowledge community of family and friends who supported teh couple (or just mum) through the pregnancy, birth, first year Location - so important - many happen in teh family garden - very intimte nd meaningful Vineyard Promises - Odd parents

Individual... Vdery joyful events - but also times when difficult memories can be shared too - no 2 ceremonies are teh same

Authentic... Funerals Funerals - probably the ceremony type we are best know for are our funerals - doing since 1890’s. So many accounts from people who attended ‘traditionsl’ religious funerals that left them alienated, frustrated, depressed, even angry because the platitudes offered were not relevant to the belief system of the deceased and teh account given of the person’s life was not a fair reflection. . The complex process of re- membering, acknowledging and letting go cannot happen at this type of funeral and so teh subsequent grieving process is not allowed to take its course. We believe everyone should have the ceremony that is right for them - and that meaningful ritual, that is ritual that authentically and compassionately reflect sand express the core beliefs of a person - leads to psychologically healthier society. Popularity growing. Numbers etc.

Personal responsibility... Taboos receding and peopel wanting to take more ownership of the funeral process

Meaningful... Matter of personal preference - how far from tradition you want to go - but interestingly - the more we break from tradition in England, the more we are reconnecting with a time when we had much more hands on care of and involvement with our dying and with our dead. So in our whistlestop tour, you can see the subject of ceremonies is rich picking for some of the biggest questions we have about life, birth, death and love - and I’ld liek to open up teh floor now to answer some of yours!

Any Questions? 10 mins.

Ceremonies Resources and Activity Ideas 15 mins for this section. We have a wealth of ceremonies resources for each cere type on the understanding humanism pages. Including activities that encourage children to think about what they would like to be remembered for after they’ve died, and asking them what a humanist celebrant might ask a couple planning to marry. Show naming video - LUKE

Thank You!