Fostering Resilient Kids www.AskDoctorG.com Fostering Resilient Kids We know they’re stressed. What do we do? Deborah Giboa, MD
Chores are the canary in the coal mine of kids’ character…
Valuing achievement ahead of character increases risk.
Kids are capable of far more than the stereotypes we perpetuate
What is “Happiness?”
hap·pi· ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy INGREDIENTS: Confidence Competence Relationships hap·pi· ness: noun
“Happiness Now” Pressure Unattainable Conflicts with resilience Removes opportunity for resilience “practice” Causes us to change the narrative to support everything being ok Limits the resources we offer We’re terrible at predicting it for others
WHY DO ADULTS SAY NO? Love Genuine enjoyment responsibility Fear Future consequences Relationship rupture Guilt
CULTURE OF “SUCCESSFUL” FAMILIES Myth: “Only I can fix this!” Truth: Failure must be experienced.
RESILIENCE CHALLENGES Mistakes Accidents Pain Social consequences Judgment 11:00 News…
HOW DOES FAILURE HELP? independence → confidence Leads to competence Builds relationship Teaches resilience. 12
WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO? Doing = learning. When-not-if language Life skills Relationship skills Problem-solving Expectation of failure Look for chances to take one step back.
5 protective factors of resilience social competence problem-solving skills autonomy sense of purpose use of storytelling 5 protective factors of resilience
Resilience in Practice Build trust Demonstrate gratitude Express empathy Connect resources Offer solutions Resilience in Practice
“That’s a pretty fine fix you’ve gotten yourself into there, kiddo. I’ll be interested to see what you do.”
Empathy without intervention.
Get in touch! DrG@AskDoctorG.com /AskDocG @AskDocG