Leadership Communications November 20, 2018

Leadership An effective leader communicates… Listens Observes Gives feedback

Basics of Communications Sender Feedback Message Response Channel Audience

“Don’t Speak, Unless You Can Improve On The Silence.” Words of Wisdom “Don’t Speak, Unless You Can Improve On The Silence.” Source: New England Proverb

Communications “The biggest problem in communications is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” George Bernard Shaw

Effective Listening Listening is an important leadership skill. Unfortunately … We tend to judge leaders solely by their speaking skills.

As a leader… …people’s first impression of you is based on your speaking skills. …their lasting impression is based on your listening skills.

Barriers To Effective Listening Working, reading, TV watching Exhibiting a lack of interest in the other person/topic Failing to make eye contact Using non-supportive body language Failing to do listening checks

How to Listen Sharpen your listening attitude Meet the speakers gaze - Stay focused - Listen for understanding Meet the speakers gaze - Maintain eye contact Summarize as you listen - Use listening checks Don’t day-dream…listen

Rule of Effective Listening You will be more effective if you…. Listen 70% of the time Transmit 30% Unfortunately… Most people do just the opposite.

Listening People actually hear about 50% of what is communicated. People only listen to about 25% of the message. People understand about 12% of what is said. People only remember about 3% of what they are told.

Basic Rule of Effective Listening “If you are working on your response while the other person is talking…you are not listening effectively.”

10 Tips for Effective Listening 1. Stop Talking! 2. Put the other person at ease. 3. Show the other person that you want to hear them. 4. Remove distractions. 5. Empathize with the other person.

10 Tips for Effective Listening 6. Be patient. 7. Watch your emotions. 8. Be very slow to disagree, criticize or argue. 9. Do listening checks. 10.STOP TALKING! Source: Dr. Philip E. Humburt www.superperformance.com

Remember… Reasonable People, Equally Informed, Seldom Disagree.

Basics of Communications Sender Message Channel Audience Response Feedback

Try this Listening Exercise Practice Try this Listening Exercise

One Way Communications

Basics of Communications Sender Message Channel Audience Response Feedback

Two Way Communications

Communications One-Way Two-Way 1. Faster 2. Less Accurate 3. Communicator Satisfied 4. Receiver Frustrated 5. Single Responsibility Two-Way 1. Slower 2. More Accurate 3. Communicator Frustrated 4. Receiver Satisfied 5. Mutual Responsibility

What is a Listening Check? The ability to paraphrase/restate what you are hearing with the goal of promoting understanding between you and the speaker.

Listening Checks Clarification Checks “Before you go on, let me make sure I understand what you are saying.” “I am not sure I understand. Can you help me?” “What are you suggesting?” “Would you explain that again for me?” “Can you explain exactly what you mean by..?”

Listening Checks Paraphrase Checks “What I heard you say was…” “Are you saying that…?” “Let me repeat what you have said to be sure I have heard you correctly.” “Let’s recap what you’ve said so far.”

Use Listening Checks… When the outcome is crucial In conflict situations To communicate caring When problem solving During telephone conversations During interviews When working with customers

Try this Listening Exercise Practice Try this Listening Exercise

The procedure is actually quite simple The procedure is actually quite simple. First, you arrange things into different groups. Of course, one pile may be sufficient depending on how much there is to do. If you have to go somewhere else due to lack of facilities, then that is the next step. Otherwise, you are fairly well set. It is important not to overdo things. That is, it is better to do too few things at once than too many. In the short run, this may not seem important, but complications can easily arise. A mistake can be expensive as well. At first, the whole procedure will seem complicated. Soon, however, it will become just another fact of life. It is difficult to foresee any end to the necessity for this task in the immediate future, but one never can tell. After the procedure is completed, one arranges the materials into groups again. Then they can be put into their appropriate places. Eventually, they will be used once again, and the whole cycle will have to be repeated. However, that is part of life. What procedure am I?

Effective Listening Form Triads A person B person C person

A - Communicator B - Listener C - Observer Triads A - Communicator B - Listener C - Observer

Topics The election President Trump Economic Development Pro-Life, Pro-Choice ISIS Raising a teenage child A topic of your choice

Basics of Communications Sender Message Channel Audience Response Feedback

Giving Feedback Give feedback on a timely basis. Deal only with behavior that the receiver can change. Offer feedback in caring way. Direct message to the person’s behavior. Be specific/support with examples. Describe impact of behavior on you. Suggest alternatives.

Receiving Feedback Treat feedback as an opportunity. Try not to act defensive. Be sure you understand the feedback. Verify the feedback with others. Express your appreciation.

Four Step Feedback Model State your issue or grievance Request a change in behavior Make an agreement Follow-up/ acknowledge

Feedback Exercise What behaviors should I KEEP doing because they are effective? What behaviors should I STOP doing because they are not effective? What behaviors should I START doing to make our relationship more effective?

Assignment Ask significant people in your life to score your listening skills. On a Scale of 1 to 10… 1 - Lousy Listener to 10 - Effective Listener

Pulling Together Your task is to construct a pyramid with the six cups by using the rubber band attached to the string.

Pulling Together Rules: You will work in silence. All direction comes from leaders You cannot touch the cups with your hands. The string cannot be altered in any way. All cups must be upright at the end of the exercise.

Leadership Communications A Leader is Observant

Check your Observation Skills

Changing your thinking “If you change the way you look at things…the things you look at change.” Dr. Wayne Dyer 10 Secrets to Inner Peace

What’s on a Penny?

Exercise Draw a picture of the front and back of a penny List everything that is on the front and back of a penny

What’s On A Penny?

What’s On A Penny? Front: “In God We Trust” Liberty Date Mint Mark (usually under the date) President Lincoln’s Portrait

What’s On A Penny? Back: United States of America One Cent E Pluribus Unum Lincoln Memorial (12 columns)

GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS: What’s On A Penny? GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS: Copper Color Raised Rim around edge on both sides Front & Back Inverted from each other 3/4 of an inch thick in diameter 1/16 of an inch thick Weighs approximately 1/6 ounce

HOW MANY TIMES IN A YEAR IS A PENNY HANDLED?

HOW MANY TIMES IN A YEAR IS A PENNY HANDLED? 1,000!

Observations On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or the bottom? What two numbers on the telephone dial don’t have letters by them? On the US flag is the top stripe red or white? In which hand is the Statue of Liberty’s torch? How many sides does a stop sign have?

Observations (continued) Do books have even numbered pages on the right or left side? How many sides are there on a standard pencil? Does a merry go round turn counter or clockwise? What six colors are on the classic Campbell’s soup label? How many channels on a VHF dial?

Observations On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or the bottom? bottom What two numbers on the telephone dial don’t have letters by them? 1,0 On the US flag is the top stripe red or white? red In which hand is the Statue of Liberty’s torch? right How many sides does a stop sign have? eight

Observations (continued) Do books have even numbered pages on the right or left side? left How many sides are there on a standard pencil? six Does a merry go round turn counter or clockwise? counter What six colors are on the classic Campbell’s soup label? Blue, red, white, yellow, black & gold How many channels on a VHF-TV dial? twelve

The BIGGEST Obstacle to Learning Anything Is Believing You Already Know It!