Families Matter

Welcome Parents are experts in parenting. All families have challenges…and strengths. Research tells us what we can do to help children thrive. Small things make a big difference. You are not alone - there is support for families. These are key messages that can be reinforced throughout the presentation. Parents are experts in parenting – we will be learning from each other during the presentation. Parents have strengths and skills.

Here’s a blended family. Do you know who they are Here’s a blended family. Do you know who they are? Strengths and challenges? ****want to be sensitive to the fact that our newcomer/younger families may not know these families**** Facilitators may need to adjust this activity to get at the point that all families have challenges and strengths.

Strengths and challenges?

Nephew joins the family – strengths/challenges?

Great families come in all different shapes, sizes, configurations Great families come in all different shapes, sizes, configurations. None of them are perfect and all of them have challenges. Too much of the conversation about families is about what’s wrong, their stresses and failures, or whether certain types of families are better than others. The result is that families are rarely celebrated for the strengths they offer both family members and society at large. The Family Assets focus on identifying, celebrating, and investing in the strengths that are present and possible in all kinds of families.

Where’s Waldo? Where are the strengths? Color Focus activity – ask participants to walk around the room and notice everything that is red. Give them a minute or two. When they get back to their seats ask them to pick a partner, close their eyes and recite to each other everything in the room that is green. Hard to do. Message: you only see what you are looking for. Important to look for strengths in people and in families. You can choose what to see in your kids. Look for strengths, not deficits.

What are your parenting/family strengths? Think about your own strengths. Write 3 down. Pair and share. An opportunity for self reflection. We spend lots of time thinking about and discussing our flaws. Think about your strengths. De-brief with large group: How did you find that activity? What did you learn?

Relationships are key Express Care Challenge Growth Provide Support Share Power Expand Possibilities Handout Developmental Relationships Framework. Research tells us that the quality of our relationships in a family is the most important to healthy, happy kids. You are the most important thing your child needs. Once relationship is strong, then Family Assets are stronger.

You already have what it takes Raising kids, building brains, developing relationships – you already have what it takes. Check out the parenting quizzes on www.parentfurther.com Parents are always looking for things to help make their kids better....you already have what it takes.

Search Institute® www.search-institute.org For more than 50 years, Search Institute has been a leader around the world in discovering what kids need to succeed. Family Assets – 20 qualities/assets that help families to be strong and happy Hand out Family Assets. Search Institute has identified the following key qualities that help all kinds of families be strong. When families have more of these research-based assets, the children and adults in the family do better in life. Distinguishes good parenting from family assets Acknowledges that young people are parented not just by biological mothers and fathers but also by grandparents, adoptive, foster, and step parents; legal guardians, and, other family members Empirically links family assets to measurable outcomes for young people, parenting adults, and families.

...and the Family Assets Study says The more assets a family has the more likely they are to engage in healthy behaviours. Family assets are related to youths’ academic achievement. The more family assets a family has, the more likely the adults and children reported feeling happy. Research was done with families of youth.....this is a glimpse into the future and an opportunity for you to be proactive.

Family Assets - 5 key ingredients Nurturing Relationships Establishing Routines Maintaining Expectations Adapting to Challenges Connecting to Community Large group activity: Which of these do you think are easiest for families in Halton? Routines and expectations. Adapting to challenges and connecting to community are hardest. Which one is the most important? Relationships are foundational to families’ success and happiness. More info on relationships attached. How have you developed a strong positive relationship with your children? How has it helped you to parent? Strong relationships in families make everything easier. What do these mean to you?

Search Institute® Family Assets This can be done as a walk and talk activity. Post flip chart paper around the room with the different categories and ask parents to list strategies under each one. OR Ask parents to self-reflect about what is easy for them and what is hard. Then ask them to share their thoughts with a different person next to them. OTHER INFO FOR FACILITATORS ON FAMILY ASSETS: Developed by the Search Institute, building on the Developmental Assets that relate to youth. Family assets are: the everyday things families do to be strong the actions we take to build healthy individuals and healthy relationships within our families. Children, teens, parents, and other family members all play a role in encouraging others to develop the most valuable qualities we need for happiness, health, and success. the more of these family Assets families experience, the better off they are. Kids from families with more assets are also more likely to engage in learning at school and develop close relationships with others, and are less likely to take part in riskier behaviours. Positive is Possible Too much of the conversation about families is about what’s wrong, their stresses and failures, or whether certain types of families are better than others. The result is that families are rarely celebrated for the strengths they offer both family members and society at large. The Family Assets focus on identifying, celebrating, and investing in the strengths that are present and possible in all kinds of families.

Letter writing Explore the templates handed out Choose to write a letter to yourself or your child Take 5-10 minutes and finish the letter Handout Letter Templates. Debrief: Why was that hard? Why was it easy? What will you do with letter?

Relationship strategy: Be mindful with your words

Parenting Resources http://www.parentfurther.com/ HaltonParents @haltonparents

All Children Thrive Mary Tabak Our Kids Network mary@ourkidsnetwork.ca 905-335-0772 www.ourkidsnetwork.ca