Prepared by Darrell G. Mullins Salisbury University Human Communication in Society by Jess K. alberts, Thomas K. nakayama, and judith n. martin Prepared by Darrell G. Mullins Salisbury University This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: Any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; Preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; Any rental, lease or lending of the program. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Chapter 8: Communicating in close relationships Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. Overview of Themes Close Relationships and the Individual Models of Relationship Development Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships The Individual, Relationship Communication, and Society Ethics and Close Relationships Improving Your Conflict Skills Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Close Relationships and the Individual iStockphoto/DanielBendjy “Close relationships can be a source of happiness, comfort, and even distress.” Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

The Importance of Close Relationships Improve Psychological Well Being Improve Physical Health Royalty FreeThomas Northcut/Lifesize/Getty Images Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

What Are Close Relationships? Frequency, Intensity, and Diversity of Contact Relationships in Which People See Each Other as Unique and Irreplaceable Communication Marked by High Disclosure and Openness Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Influences on Relationship Development Proximity Physical Closeness Electronic Closeness Attractiveness Physical Attractiveness The Matching Hypothesis Personality Similarity Values and Interests Uncertainty Reduction Theory Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Models of Relationship Development “Because relationship development is an important aspect of life and because sometimes the process goes awry…scholars have devoted considerable effort toward creating models to explain it.” Index Open/PhotosToGo Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Stage Models of Relationship Development: Social Penetration Theory Central Concept: Level of Self-Disclosure Breadth vs. Depth Stages Orientation Exploratory Affective Exchange Affective Exchange Stable Exchange Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Stage Models-The Knapp/Vangelisti Model Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Relational Trajectory Models: The Turning Point Model A bi-directional model Multiple paths throughout relationship development Significant events, “turning points,” in the relationship propel the relationship in one direction or the other See types of turning points on p. 200 Turning points apply to friendships, too Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Relational Trajectory Models: Relational Dialectics Dialectic Defined: Competing Tensions Types of Dialectical Tensions autonomy/connection expressiveness/privacy change/predictability Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships “…friendships can differ markedly from romances in how much we reveal, especially in the early stages.” Index Open/PhotosToGo Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Initiating Relationships Romantic Relationships Flirting Gender Differences Communication and Dating Friendships Conversational Initiation Skills Vital Open With a Non-threatening Comment Ask Broad, Open-Ended Questions Listen Attentively Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Maintaining Relationships Romantic Relationships Positivity Openness Assurances Social Networks Sharing Tasks Joint Activities Mediated Communication Avoidance/Antisocial Humor Friendships Conversation Similar Communication Skills Assurances Positivity Open Discussion Listening Sharing Time Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. Couples’ Maintenance Behaviors Adapted from: Stafford, L. (2003). Maintaining romantic relationships: Summary and analysis of one research program. In D. Canary & M. Dainton (Eds.), Maintaining relationships through communication (pp. 51–78). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. Ending Relationships Difficulties in Understanding Relationship Termination Unwillingness to Discuss Identifying When Termination Begins Termination Trajectories Sudden Death Passing Away Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. Why Relationships End Romantic Relationships Lack of Autonomy Lack of Similarity Lack of Supportiveness Infidelity Inequity Absence of Romance “Fatal Attractions” Friendships Minimal Pressure to Maintain Lack of Awareness Lack of Proximity Decreased Affection Lack of Communication Skills Rule-Breaking Deception Boredom Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Relationship Termination Strategies Romantic Relationships Negative Identity Management De-escalation Justification Behavioral De-escalation Friendships Withdrawal/Avoidance Third-Party Message Positive Tone Openness Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Confronting Relationship Challenges Aversive Communication Behaviors Frequency Examples: Nagging, Criticizing, Teasing Deception The Impact of the Truth Bias Particularly Devastating in Friendships Jealousy Combination of Emotions Result of Perceived Threat to Relationship Gender Differences Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Confronting Relational Challenges, Continued Relational Aggression Frequency Communication Patterns in Abusive Romantic Relationships Communication Patterns in Abusive Friendship Relationships Sexual Coercion Date Rape vs. Sexual Coercion Contributors to Sexual Coercion Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Improving Your Conflict Skills “In the midst of a heated conflict, or if confronted by an enraged person, often the best approach you can take is to try to defuse the interaction.” Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Conflict De-Escalation Strategies De-escalate Your Own Anger Listening To Understand Empathizing Taking Time Out Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

The Individual, Relationship Communication, and Society “Many people think that relationships are an individual matter… However, society wields strong influences on our choices and behavior.” Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Society, Power, Courtship, and Marriage Society sets norms for mate selection and behavior—high homogeneity. Society sets norms for communication behavior. Social norms inhibit some groups from expressing their relationships. Businesses set policies that affect employees’ relationships. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Society, Power, and Friendship Individuals face pressure from social groups regarding friendship choices. Norms/beliefs about cross-sex friendships affect their enactment. Society has norms about the relative role of friends in our lives. Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Ethics and Close Relationships “If you communicate unethically with your friends, family, and romantic partner, the consequences may be severe.” Ethics and Close Relationships Tara Moore / Stone / Getty Images Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.

Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. Some Guidelines Authentic Communication Confront Important Issues Take Responsibility Allow Others to Speak From Their Own Positions and Experiences Copyright © 2010, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.