By adding in your train of thoughts EXPLODE THE MOMENT By adding in your train of thoughts

How to explode the moment SLOW DOWN by….. Delve into your thoughts and tell us what you were thinking and feeling at the time. 2. Give lots of specific sensory details to help the reader visualize the entire scene.

1) write about what you were thinking and feeling at the time. “Splash!” I looked back and saw my sister in the water. She was struggling and screaming “Help!” I was frozen to the ground. I quickly jumped in and saved her.

“Splash. ” I looked back and saw my sister in the water “Splash!” I looked back and saw my sister in the water. She was struggling and screaming “Help!” I was frozen to the ground. My mind was racing. I know I should jump in now and save my little sister because she was drowning. I attempted a little step towards her hesitantly. The water looks dark and threatening. It looks deep. It looks as if it could swallow me and I’ll never be found again if I jump into it. My heart raced. My muscles tensed. My hands felt cold and clammy. Time is ticking but I still could not manage the leap. A feeble “Help” jolted me to action. There is no time left. If I don’t jump in now, I will lose my sister forever. I made up my mind. This is what I have to do. I quickly jumped in and saved her.

2) Give lots of specific sensory details to help the reader visualize the entire scene. I walked into the McDonalds and people were busy everywhere.

As I walked into McDonalds, cool air greeted me amidst a cacophony of sounds. An old man slouched in the corner, holding an aluminium cane in one hand and a rolled up newspaper in the other. He swatted at flies as the McDonalds staff scurried behind the counters, stuffing bags with greasy burgers, rushing to the frying machines to scoop the golden potato sticks into red packs. The smell of sizzling fat hung heavily in the air. My mouth watered in anticipation as the perky young girl slid the bag across the slick counter. I murmured my ‘thanks’ and she squeaked out, “Have a nice day!”