MARRIAGE

THE PATH TO MARRIAGE Recently many people feel that cohabitation (living together) is just common sense. It helps the couple train for marriage and it avoids the mistake of marrying the wrong person. However, research indicates that couples who have not lived together in a trail marriage have higher marital adjustment scores one year after marriage as oppose to couples who had cohabited before they married. In addition, scores for marital communication and overall marital satisfaction were higher for couples who did not live together before they were married. Source: Creating Christian Lifestyle, p.225.

COMMUNICATION: IS THE KEY TO DISCOVER WHETHER A COUPLE WANTS TO GET MARRIED. What do they need to communicate about? Prior to entering the sacrament of marriage, it is important that couples discuss the following issues: the roles in marriage support of the family (i.e. in-laws) issue of dealing with change children sexual expression coping with conflict partnership religious beliefs financial issues hopes and dreams

WHY MARRY? sharing life with a loving companion creating new life strengthening individual identities calling forth the best in each person enabling the couple to reach out beyond themselves in hospitality and compassion supporting the journey in faith

COMPARING MARRIAGE USING CIVIL AND CANON LAW CIVIL LAW law of the land applying to each individual MARRIAGE a legal agreement (contract) between a man and a woman MARRIAGE LICENSE issued by City Hall necessary to be married CITY HALL Judge or Justice of the Peace requires two witnesses JUDGE OR JUSTICE OF THE PEACE performs the ceremony and signs contract to make marriage legal CANON LAW laws of the Church- canon means rule MARRIAGE a sacrament bonding of two people MARRIAGE LICENSE civil and Church license issued by priest CHURCH WEDDING blessing of the Church, performed in front of family and friends usually have Eucharistic Celebration PRIEST performs ceremony and signs canon law contract & makes marriage legal

COMPARING MARRIAGE USING CIVIL AND CANON LAW CIVIL LAW THE SERVICE exchange of vows LEGAL AGREEMENT marriage is a legal agreement CONTRACT marriage requires responsibilities to be met DIVORCE legal separation of two married people division of property CANON LAW THE MASS Eucharistic Celebration and exchange of vows COVENANT sacred promise of made between the couple and God SACRAMENT marriage is a sacrament ANNULMENT not divorce necessary to be married in the Church again

THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament. CCC §1601 (other catechism reference ) A sacrament is a visible sign given to us by Jesus to bring God's love into our lives in a special way. Marriage is a sacrament, which the couple gives to each other not only on their wedding day, but also in every loving thing they say or do for each other for the rest of their lives (... ongoing and living ways of receiving and sharing with others God's special gifts and love).

THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE CONTINUED Whatever a couple shares together in their marriage is sacramental and holy as long as it is done with love. When two Christians freely give their love to each other forever. It is between two baptized Christians. Vatican II – an intimate community of conjugal life and love. Marriage is a community of life and love, founded in mutual and irrevocable covenant St. Paul saw marriage as a reflection of the relationship between Jesus and his Church. (e.g. Ephesians 5:25-33

THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE CONTINUED Christian marriage is a two-tiered sacrament. On one level it is a celebration of the ultimate communion of life and love between a man and a woman. The second level proclaims, makes explicit and celebrates the intimate life, love and Grace between God and Gods people, and between Christ and Christ people, the Church. (Karl Rahner, S.J.) The Christian sacrament of marriage is experienced on at least five levels: sexual creative the loving the ecclesial the spiritual

DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE Catholic Church defines a true marriage as a permanent and faithful love bond made freely. It is a deliberate choice and promise by two people for each other over any and all others. Church does not recognize marriages into which couples are somehow pressured or coerced against their will. Catholic Tradition has always taken the permanence of marriage seriously. Permanence in marriage is necessary for the good of all society. If marriages end easily, society suffers from instability. Broken marriages cause emotional, financial, spiritual, and interpersonal pain and dislocation.

MARRIAGE IN THE CHURCH – OR IS IT A CHURCH WEDDING? A Church wedding a ceremony performed in a church building. Marriage in the Church "a marriage preparation course is required so that a couple realizes that marriage is a sacrament in union with the whole Church." This implies that the persons knows what the sacrament means and wishes to declare before the gathered community that their marriage is a blessed event where they have committed themselves to live out their love, together, forever. The Church (people) act as witnesses and give support to the marriage.

A COVENANT OF FAITH Covenant is a deeply serious, personal, solemn promise made between persons. To covenant means to commit oneself radically and solemnly. The Church has always viewed marriage as a covenantal relationship that mirrors God's covenant with God's people "... in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health" echoes the kind of love that God pledged to God's people. Jesus gave his life; his being, for the Church. Therefore, husbands and wives are called to give their energies, talents, affection, faith, hope and love; their lives for each other.

A COVENANT OF FAITH According to Vatican II the definition of faith is that by which a person freely and totally commits him/herself to God. This sounds like the definition of Christian marriage - just substitute God for ones spouse. A covenant is more encompassing, with God as witness and participant. One can break a contract but not a covenant. Covenants are more a matter of the heart, in its fullest sense, not a matter for the courts.