1 Family Network on Disabilities of Florida, Inc Whitney Road Clearwater, Florida Phone: (727) Toll free: (800) Website: Parenting Styles

Jim Fay 2 Family Network on Disabilities of Florida, Inc. (FND) is: Family Driven Non-Profit 501(c)3 Membership Organization

Jim Fay 3 The PIRC is YOUR…. Parent and Information Resource Center. We are funded by a grant from the U.S. Department of Education, Office of Innovation and Improvement as part of the NCLB legislation.

Jim Fay 4 Agenda Parenting Styles Love and Logic Problem Solving What It All Comes Down To

Jim Fay 5 Goal: To increase and emphasize parents knowledge of effective parenting styles

Jim Fay 6 Objectives: Learn characteristics of effective parenting styles Learn how to combine love and logic with children

Jim Fay 7 Todays Families: What Worked When We Were Kids May Not Work Today! WHY?

Jim Fay 8 Parenting Styles Helicopters: These parents hover over their children, constantly rescuing them and constantly protecting them from their teachers, other kids, and the rest of the cruel world out there!

Jim Fay 9 Parenting Styles Drill Sergeants: When these parents tell their children to jump, they better jump!!

Jim Fay 10 Parenting Styles Consultants: These parents are always willing to share alternatives and describe how they would solve the problem themselves. They leave it up to their children to decide what to do and then hold the children responsible and accountable for their decision.

Jim Fay 11 Unspoken Messages… Helicopters: You cant help yourself. I have to do things for you. Drill Sergeant: You cant think. I have to do your thinking for you. Consultant: You are capable and can make wise decisions. You are a responsible person.

Jim Fay 12 Love and Logic Using love and logic to help children find solutions to problems… Love allows children to grow through their mistakes. Logic allows children to live with the consequences of their choices.

Jim Fay 13 Four Principles of Love and Logic: 1.Shared Control – Parents gain control by giving away the control they dont need. 2.Shared Thinking and Decision-Making – Parents provide opportunities for children to do the greatest amount of thinking and decision-making.

Jim Fay 14 Four Principles of Love and Logic: 3.Equal Shares of Consequences and Empathy – An absence of parental anger causes a child to think and learn from his or her mistakes. 4.Maintaining A Childs Self-Concept – Improved self-concept leads to improved behavior and improved achievement.

Jim Fay 15 Love and Logic and Problem Solving Helicopters tend to rescue kids from the consequences of their actions. Drill Sergeants tend to avoid giving kids opportunities to make decisions or mistakes. Consultants allow kids to make mistakes and to live with the consequences.

Jim Fay 16 Children raised by consultant parents grow up to be adults who: Know how to respect and take care of themselves Are able to determine who owns the problem Know that they have some control over their lives Know that you gain control by giving away the control you dont need Know that the quality of their lives depends upon the decisions they make

Jim Fay 17 What it all comes down to… You know your child best – you may need to be a helicopter at one time, a drill sergeant at another time, and a consultant in between! Spending time with your child and showing your child that you care is the most important thing a parent can do!

Jim Fay 18 For More Information… Call or go to Parenting with Love & Logic and refer to the Helicopters, Drill Sergeants, and Consultants book by Jim Fay

Jim Fay 19 Please Complete Evaluation For more information contact: 2735 Whitney Road Clearwater, Florida Office: or Fax: