Interpersonal Attraction and “LOVE”

Liking, Loving, Leaving and Hating: Backman’s Model of Relationships Stage 1: From “no contact” to “unilateral awareness” The key importance of propinquity Additional factors Cultural restraints Familial restraints Individual factors (sexuality, disability, etc)

Backman’s 4 Stages (cont.) Stage 2: Sampling and estimation Begins with first impressions Then comes identity bargaining (impression management) The comes the compromise process Prospectives are usually similar in race, age, class, etc. Prospectives are similar in physical atttractiveness Normative Constraints can re-emerge at this stage.

Backman’s 4 Stages (cont.) Stage 3: Social Penetration Self-disclosure Interdependence Emotional convergence Changes in self-attributions: “We” instead of ‘I” Reinforcement and learning: partners train one another

Backman’s 4 Stages (end) Stage 4: Relationships are maintained, or relationships dissolve. Why? Changes in costs and rewards Individual: “I am more successful than you now!” Relational: “We’re bored with one another” Situational: “I can’t support you financially anymore” Cultural: “It’s okay for me to work outside the home now!” Interpersonal Processes leading to termination Reciprocity Questioning of motives “Going public” Unequal involvement