The Seven Challenges Workbook

Do you ever have a conversation that looks like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y

New workbook to guide us as we learn new skills: We will be covering the material in the workbook you have been provided. There are places to write in the workbook, as well as there will be writing activities that will be completed on additional worksheets or notebook paper. The completion of these activities will be graded as in class activities, and there will be tests at the end of each of the sections to assess understanding of the concepts within.

End 4 minute sand timer 4 minutes This ‘sand timer’ will start on a mouse click anywhere on the slide. The ‘sand’ will drain from the top section to the lower section and when completed will show the word ‘End’. To change the timings of this timer, you need to enter the animation settings, and change the timings for the Isosceles Triangles. There will be 2 that need changing (to the same amount) – one animates the top triangle emptying, whilst the other animates the bottom triangle filling. When you change the timings these have to entered as a number of seconds. End 4

On your own paper, answer the following: According to the text, what benefits can we expect to receive from learning and using a more cooperative style of communication? Get more done, have more fun More respect More influence More comfortable with conflict. More peace of mind, More satisfying closeness with others A healthier life Rank your list in order of what you consider to be the highest priority for you personally, from the highest priority, to the lowest priority.

End 1 minute sand timer 1 minute This ‘sand timer’ will start on a mouse click anywhere on the slide. The ‘sand’ will drain from the top section to the lower section and when completed will show the word ‘End’. To change the timings of this timer, you need to enter the animation settings, and change the timings for the Isosceles Triangles. There will be 2 that need changing (to the same amount) – one animates the top triangle emptying, whilst the other animates the bottom triangle filling. When you change the timings these have to entered as a number of seconds. End 6

4) Get more done, have more fun 3) More respect 1) More influence Rank your list in order of what you consider to be the highest priority for you personally, from the highest priority, to the lowest priority. For example: 4) Get more done, have more fun 3) More respect 1) More influence 7) More comfortable with conflict. 6) More peace of mind, 2) More satisfying closeness with others 5) A healthier life

End 5 minute sand timer 5 minutes This ‘sand timer’ will start on a mouse click anywhere on the slide. The ‘sand’ will drain from the top section to the lower section and when completed will show the word ‘End’. To change the timings of this timer, you need to enter the animation settings, and change the timings for the Isosceles Triangles. There will be 2 that need changing (to the same amount) – one animates the top triangle emptying, whilst the other animates the bottom triangle filling. When you change the timings these have to entered as a number of seconds. End 8

On your own paper, answer the following: What are the four ways in which communication is challenging? Cooperation between people is a much more complex and mentally demanding process than coercing, threatening or just grabbing what you want. Our way of communicating is deeply women into our personalities and past behaviors. Self-observation- being willing to participate and observe at the same time. We don’t have good role-models. Which do you think will be your biggest challenge? Why?

Working in your groups you will answer the questions from the papers I will give you, and create a display presentation which illustrates the concepts on the paper. The answers to these questions can be found in your workbook on page intro page 4-7. You will have 20 minutes to answer the question, and complete the presentation. You will then present your displays to the class.

According to your workbook, what does it mean to listen more carefully and responsively? Listen first, and acknowledge what you hear, even if you don’t agree with it. Briefly restate what you have heard, especially the feelings that your partner communicated, BEFORE you express your needs or position. This does not mean you have to abandoned your opinion in the matter, it simply means you are respecting the other person enough to carefully listen to what they have to say, and let them know (through demonstration) that you have heard them.

According to your workbook, what does it mean to explain your conversational intent and invite consent? By letting your partner know ahead of time what you intend to talk about, and inviting them to participate in the conversation, you are indicating right off the bat that you respect the other person enough to be forthcoming with what they should expect, and what your intentions are.

Why is it important to express yourself more clearly and completely? It is important to accurately convey yourself in order that people will be able to understand you, and where you are coming from. The more you use I statements, the easier it will be or people to be able to get to this point of understanding.

Why is it important to translate your and other people’s complaints and criticisms into specific requests, and explain your requests? It is important to translate your and other people’s complaints and criticisms into specific requests, and explain your requests in order to be able to get peoples cooperation.

Why is it important to ask questions more open-endedly and more creatively? In order to coordinate our work with the lives and work of other people, we all need to know more of what other people are feeling, thinking, wanting and planning. Asking yes/no questions tends to shut people down.

Why is it important to be able to express more appreciation? It is important to be able to express more appreciation in order to be able to build more satisfying relationships with the people around you. Healthy relationships need a core of mutual appreciation.

Why is it important to adopt the continuous learning approach to living? It is important to adopt a continuous learning approach to living in order to be able to continually build the skill. Like riding a bike, these skills require practice in order to become the norm.

Complete the activity on: Page Intro-7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2hSs28aE1I (16:09)

Test: According to the text, we expect to receive 7 benefits from learning and using a more cooperative style of communication. List four of them: Name two of the four ways in which communication is challenging. Which two of the seven challenges do you expect will be your biggest hang-up in learning to talk and listen in new ways. Why? According to the text, we expect to receive 7 benefits from learning and using a more cooperative style of communication. List four of them: Get more done, have more fun More respect More influence More comfortable with conflict. More peace of mind, More satisfying closeness with others A healthier life What are the four ways in which communication is challenging? Cooperation between people is a much more complex and mentally demanding process than coercing, threatening or just grabbing what you want. Our way of communicating is deeply women into our personalities and past behaviors. Self-observation- being willing to participate and observe at the same time. We don’t have good role-models. Which two of the seven challenges do you expect will be your biggest hang-up in learning to talk and listen in new ways,. Why? Listen more carefully and responsively Explain your conversational intent and invite consent Express yourself more clearly and completely Translate your and other peoples complaints and criticisms into specific requests and explain your requests. Ask questions more open-endedly and more creatively Express more appreciation Adopt the continuous learning approach to living