Image Grammar The Five Brushstrokes

Compare the following images, the first written by a high school student… It was winter. Everything was frozen and white. Snow had fallen from the sky for days. The weather was horrible.

The second by well-known novelist Brian Jacques… Mossflower lay deep in the grip of midwinter beneath a sky of leaden gray that showed tinges of scarlet and orange on the horizon. A cold mantle of snow draped the landscape, covering the flatlands to the west. Snow was everywhere, filling the ditches, drifting high against the hedgerows, making paths invisible, smoothing the contours of earth in its white embrace.

Brushstroke 1 Participles: Verb ending in –ing or –ed that acts as an adjective.

The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey. Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

Source: http://photography. nationalgeographic

Brushstroke 2 Absolute: a noun and a participle (noun + participle) used to modify another noun (usually found at the beginning of the sentence)

The squirrel was on the bench. Arms stretching, the squirrel was on the bench.

Brushstroke 3 Appositives: A noun or noun phrase that renames the preceding noun.

The lion cub waited patiently for his food The lion cub waited patiently for his food. The lion cub, a future king, waited patiently for his food.

Brushstroke 4 Adjectives out of order: Placing adjectives in a different order (after the noun).

The large, red-eyed, angry moose charged the intruder The large, red-eyed, angry moose charged the intruder. The large moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the intruder.

Brushstroke 5 Active Action Verbs Eliminate the passive voice (make sure the subject is PERFORMING the action).

Passive: The runaway horse was ridden into town by a rancher Passive: The runaway horse was ridden into town by a rancher. Active: The rancher rode the runaway horse into town.