SELF-CONCEPT: SELF-IMAGE, SELF-ESTEEM, & SELF-IDEAL RELATIONSHIPS AND FAMILY MRS. CRUSAN

SELF-CONCEPT SELF CONCEPT IS A GENERAL TERM USED TO REFER TO HOW SOMEONE THINKS ABOUT, EVALUATES, OR PERCEIVES THEMSELVES. TO BE AWARE OF ONESELF IS TO HAVE A CONCEPT OF ONESELF. AN INDIVIDUAL’S BELIEF ABOUT HIM/HERSELF, INCLUDING THE PERSON’S ATTRIBUTES AND WHO AND WHAT THE SELF IS. THE DEVELOPMENT OF A CONCEPT OF SELF HAS TWO ASPECTS: THE EXISTENTIAL SELF: THE CHILD REALIZES THEY EXIST AS A SEPARATE ENTITY FROM OTHERS & THAT THEY CONTINUE TO EXIST OVER TIME & SPACE. CHILD SMILES & SOMEONE SMILES BACK OR TOUCH A MOBILE & SEE IT MOVE. THE CATEGORICAL SELF: A CHILD BECOMES AWARE THAT HE OR SHE IS ALSO AN OBJECT IN THE WORLD. WILL REFER TO PROPERTIES THEY HAVE USING “I”. “I AM 3”, “I AM HER SISTER”, ETC.

SELF-CONCEPT CARL ROGERS (1959) BELIEVES THAT THE SELF-CONCEPT HAS 3 DIFFERENT COMPONENTS: SELF-IMAGE: THE VIEW YOU HAVE OF YOURSELF SELF-ESTEEM: HOW MUCH VALUE YOU PLACE ON YOURSELF IDEAL-SELF: WHAT YOU WISH YOU WERE REALLY LIKE

SELF-IMAGE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF WHO ARE YOU? IN YOUR NOTES WRITE AT LEAST 5 THINGS THAT DESCRIBE WHO YOU ARE. SELF-IMAGE IS NOT NECESSARILY BASED IN REALITY. I.E. AN ANOREXIC PERSON. A PERSON’S SELF IMAGE IS AFFECTED BY MANY FACTORS, SUCH AS PARENTAL INFLUENCES, FRIENDS, THE MEDIA, ETC. WHEN ASKING YOURSELF THE QUESTION “WHO AM I?” MOST DESCRIBE THEMSELVES IN THEIR SOCIAL ROLES (SON, TEACHER, FRIEND, ETC.) AND THEIR PERSONALITY TRAITS (FUNNY, GENEROUS, SMART). TYPICALLY YOUNG PEOPLE DESCRIBE THEMSELVES IN TERMS OF PERSONAL TRAITS, WHEREAS OLDER PEOPLE FEEL DEFINED TO A GREATER EXTENT BY THEIR SOCIAL ROLES.

ADVANTAGES OF A GOOD SELF IMAGE A GOOD LEADER TO OTHERS DOESN’T SUBMIT TO PEER PRESSURE IS NOT A THREAT TO OTHERS AND CANNOT BE THREATENED BY OTHERS BELIEVES IN SELF AND MAKES LIFE SUCCESSFUL WILLING TO EXPERIMENT AND TRY THINGS EASIER TO MAKE FRIENDS AND HAVE MORE MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE AND LOOK AT LIFE POSITIVELY, NOT “WHY ME” FAILURE IS NOT DEVASTATING CAN LOOK AT BAD POINTS AND CHANGE THEM

SELF-ESTEEM THE EXTENT TO WHICH YOU VALUE YOURSELF SELF-ESTEEM REFERS TO THE EXTENT TO WHICH WE LIKE, ACCEPT, OR APPROVE OF OURSELVES OR HOW MUCH WE VALUE OURSELVES. WE MAY HAVE EITHER A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE VIEW OF OURSELVES. HIGH SELF-ESTEEM (POSITIVE VIEW OF OURSELVES) TENDS TO LEAD TO: CONFIDENCE IN OUR OWN ABILITIES SELF ACCEPTANCE NOT WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OPTIMISM LOW SELF-ESTEEM (NEGATIVE VIEW OF OURSELVES) TENDS TO LEAD TO: LACK OF CONFIDENCE WANT TO BE/LOOK LIKE SOMEONE ELSE ALWAYS WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MIGHT THINK PESSIMISM

SELF-ESTEEM EVEN THOUGH SELF-ESTEEM MAY FLUCTUATE, THERE ARE TIMES WHEN WE CONTINUE TO BELIEVE GOOD THINGS ABOUT OURSELVES EVEN WHEN EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY EXISTS. WHAT ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF TIMES/INSTANCES WHEN THIS HAS HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE (ADD TO NOTES). MICHAEL ARGYLE (2008) BELIEVES THERE ARE 4 MAJOR FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE SELF-ESTEEM. THE REACTION OF OTHERS COMPARISON WITH OTHERS SOCIAL ROLES IDENTIFICATION BUT JUST AS IMPORTANT AS ALL THESE FACTORS, ARE THE INFLUENCE OF OUR PARENTS!

IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM IDENTITY BELONGING SECURITY PURPOSE ACCEPTING YOURSELF, INCLUDING FLAWS, MAKES YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH WHO YOU ARE. BELONGING THIS IS YOUR CONNECTION TO PEOPLE. FAMILY, FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS, ETC. YOU CAN WORK EVERY DAY TO FIND ONE MORE WAY TO BELONG. SECURITY PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY. TO FEEL SECURE, FIND SOMEONE WHO ACCEPTS YOU, IS RELIABLE, AND IS WORTHY OF TRUST. THEN SUPPORT EACH OTHER. PURPOSE KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT TO BE OR ACHIEVE GIVES MEANING TO WHAT YOU DO EVERY DAY. TO GAIN PURPOSE, SET A FEW SHORT- AND LONG-TERM GOALS.

BUILD A POSITIVE ATTITUDE ON SOME DAYS IT MAY BE MORE DIFFICULT THAN OTHERS TO THINK POSITIVELY. FOR THOSE DAYS YOU MAY NEED IDEAS FOR ADDING JOY TO YOUR LIFE. TAKE POSITIVE ACTION TALK POSITIVELY ACCEPT YOURSELF STAY OPEN TO LEARNING REACH OUT TO OTHERS ASSERT YOURSELF ACCEPT AND RESPECT OTHERS AS THEY ARE

HARRILL SELF-ESTEEM INVENTORY How to Use This Information The Self-Esteem Awareness Inventory is not a test or a precise measure of self-esteem. Instead, it identifies beliefs, feelings, and behaviors that contribute to your self-esteem. The 25 statements can be used to update beliefs that have limited your self-esteem. Use the statements as affirmations, positive statements, to change and improve how you talk to yourself. Repeat the statements to yourself often, emphasizing your low scoring answers. Over time improving your self- talk will help change old, outdated beliefs that keep you stuck in low self-esteem. It is unwise to compare your answers with anyone else's, that is, unless sharing opens healthy discussion between the two of you. Save your answers and date it. Answer the questions again every few months to notice your progress and the areas you still need to emphasize. Another idea is to write your low-scoring statements on 3X5 cards. Read them out loud to yourself daily. Tape them in places you will see often: refrigerator, desk drawer, bathroom mirror, your purse or wallet. You will see growth and improvement as you work on your lower scoring areas. Be mindful of not judging the speed of your progress. Grow and expand your awareness at your own rate. If many of your answers are low, you will notice quick improvement by working with these 25 statements and applying the information in this book. All of the parts of you are interdependent so a gain in one area strengthens your entire self. A side benefit in working with the inventory is to notice where other people have self-esteem issues. You can grow in compassion as you learn to identify when another is struggling with self- esteem issues. This makes it a little easier to forgive negative attitudes and behaviors in others as well.

IDEAL SELF WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE IF THERE IS A MISMATCH BETWEEN HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF (SELF-IMAGE) AND WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE (IDEAL SELF) THEN THIS IS LIKELY TO AFFECT HOW MUCH YOU VALUE YOURSELF. A PERSON’S IDEAL SELF MAY NOT BE CONSISTENT WITH WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN LIFE AND EXPERIENCES OF THE PERSON. HENCE, A DIFFERENCE MAY EXIST BETWEEN A PERSON’S IDEAL SELF AND ACTUAL EXPERIENCE. THIS IS CALLED INCONGRUENCE. IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE CONGRUENCE ARGYLE (2008) BELIEVES THERE ARE 4 MAJOR FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE IT’S DEVELOPMENT. COVERED IN SELF- ESTEEM SLIDE.

MELISSA MCCARTHY HER PARENTS GIFT TO HER “WHEN I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING THEY DIDN’T SAY, ‘YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, YOU’RE PERFECT! “INSTEAD THEY SAID, ‘WELL IF YOU WORK REALLY HARD, YOU’VE GOT AS GOOD A CHANCE AS ANYBODY ELSE.’ AT EVERY STEP IN MY JOURNEY WITHOUT MY PARENTS SAYING, ‘WHY NOT? KEEP YOUR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND KEEP GOING,’ I DON’T KNOW THAT I WOULD HAVE MADE IT. ‘WHY NOT YOU?’ IS AN UNBELIEVABLY GREAT SENTIMENT TO GIVE A KID. NOT ENTITLEMENT BUT INSTEAD: WORK YOUR BUTT OFF, AND YOU HAVE A DECENT CHANCE AT THIS. ‘WHY NOT YOU?’ IS AN UNDERVALUED WAY OF THINKING.” IN THE SAME ARTICLE MELISSA ALSO TALKS ABOUT HOW SHE WAS RAISED BY A MOTHER WHO NEVER GAVE TIME TO NEGATIVITY OR WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT OF HER…NOT IN A MEAN WAY, BUT JUST AS I AM A HAPPY PERSON AND I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE KIND OF WAY.

CONCLUSION SELF-CONCEPT IS BUILT AND KEPT BY POSITIVE THINKING, DEVELOPING ONE’S OWN TALENTS, SETTING AND ACCOMPLISHING GOALS, RECOGNIZING PERSONAL WORTH, AND COMPLETING TASKS OR PROJECTS. I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU ALL AN IMMUNIZATION FOR YOUR SELF-CONCEPT, GIVE YOU PERIODIC BOOSTERS, PROTECT YOU FROM THOSE EXPERIENCES IN EVERYDAY LIFE THAT CHALLENGE YOUR SELF-CONCEPT. BUT IT ISN’T POSSIBLE. STRENGTHEN YOUR SELF-CONCEPT. DON’T WASTE TIME AND ENERGY FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. CHANGE COMES THROUGH CONSCIOUS EFFORT. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. SELF-ESTEEM CARD

UNIT ACTIVITIES HARRILL SELF-ESTEEM INVENTORY SELF-ESTEEM BUBBLE SOUL PANCAKE VIDEO (POSITIVE STORIES IN THE SEARCH) A POSITIVE STORY OR MESSAGE EXPLAIN WHY YOU CHOSE IT. HOW DID IT SPEAK TO YOU. HAVE THE TITLE WRITTEN DOWN 4 MINUTES OR LESS