Descriptive Writing

The most important rule of descriptive writing: Show…don’t tell

Examples of Showing Instead of telling, “We played in the snow,” this student showed: We built igloos, snow tunnels, and snowmen till we collapsed.

Instead of telling, “The resort was luxurious,” this student showed: We resided for a week in an all-inclusive resort that had every luxury imaginable: body massages at the beach, late night parties laced with every sort of exotic drink known to man, even an on-sight jeweler available to any vacationer who wished to buy a diamond ring or bracelet for, of course, a hefty price.

How to “Show" Create images. Use active verbs. Use concrete nouns. Include figures of speech Add dialogue.

Rule 1--Create Images Create word pictures by including— Sight Sound Touch Taste Smell

Example of Imagery Our brains were scrambled from the heat and our minds were going mad from the squeaking of the wheel from the golf caddie. Squuueeeeaaaak! Squeak! Squeak! “When will it shut up,” I shouted as I kicked the wheel.

Example of Imagery I watched the small Shiba Inu run in delight with his new owners. He frolicked with such happiness and energy. Little ears flapping in the wind, Tucker gave his new human companion an affectionate lick on the hand.

Example of Imagery As we began to cross one of many cold, frozen-over bridges, we began to slide. A gust of wind slammed into our sailboat of a car. My dad quickly corrected the car into the intended path. Then disaster struck. Another gust sent us into a severe slide. As we were sliding sideways off the road, I looked into our van’s new intended path. We were heading right for a Jeep that had slid off the road earlier. Right as we were about to hit the Jeep, our van suddenly took flight. We went right over the hood of the Jeep (missing it by about a foot) and began to roll. Once, twice, three times before we came to a stop.

Rule 2--Use action verbs that create movement. Improve these verbs: Mike was in his chair during math class. The Ford Taurus went down Elm Street. Tony left the room. I said, “No.” Thunder was heard. The petulant child made noise.

Rule 3--Use concrete nouns. Abstract nouns car man tree author noise animal pain emotion Concrete nouns Ford Taurus George W. Bush aspen Toni Morrison murmur raccoon migraine rage

Rule 4--Use figures of speech What are figures of speech? Similes Metaphors Personification Avoid clichés, though.

Example of personification and metaphor ”A passion so strong wanted to leap out, but the prison of being a man had no room for crying, just anger.”

Practice: Create an original simile for each of the following. Avoid clichés! Small as… Good as… Poor as… Red as… Dead as… Soft as… Brown as… Brave as…

Rule 5--Add dialogue Example from a student essay: “I am going to Arapahoe High School this year.” “Dude…” Brad uttered. A long pause followed. “You’re abandoning me!” he sputtered. “What am I going to do at football practice this season? Who am I going to share a locker with? Who will I have to hang out with? Are you serious?”

Assignment: To show that you understand how to show, not tell, rewrite the following sentences. Change the underlined portion of each sentence by creating vivid imagery. Her dress was interesting. The child looked tired and unhappy. Mark drove a used car. My bedroom was a mess. When the sun came out, the sky was a beautiful sight. Dinner was very good; I liked it. An old lecturer talked to the big group.