National Co-Chair, Organizational Effectiveness & Leadership Leadership and Emotional Intelligence : Keys to Professional  and Personal Success Link Karen M. Dyer, Ed. D. National Co-Chair, Organizational Effectiveness & Leadership

Visual Explorer At each table there is an envelope of images. Choose an image that represents your personal perception about how you see yourself as a leader in your Chapter or at the Area level. (Put unselected images back in the envelope.)   In table groups (3 or 4 people), in a round-robin fashion, each person first talk about what it is that they visibly can see in the image. (Do not talk about why you chose the image). Invite others to tell you what it is that they see. After everyone has talked about what it is that they see in the image, then in a round-robin fashion, each person talks about the image and why they chose it as a reflection of how you see yourself as a leader in your Chapter or at the Area level.

Visual Explorer Each table exchange the envelopes with the unselected images with another table   Each participant randomly chooses an image (face down). Leave it face down until I tell you to look.

Visual Explorer This image represents others perceptions about they see you as a leader in your Chapter or the Area. This may not be the perception of how you see yourself but it could be others’ perception of you.   In a round-robin fashion, each person first talks about what it is that they visibly can see in the image. (Do not talk about the significance of the image). Invite others to tell you what it is that they see. After everyone has talked about what it is that they see in the image, then in a round-robin fashion, each person talks about how this image could represent other’s perceptions about how they see them as a leader in your Chapter or Area.

Perceptions We are measured not by what we are, but by the perception of what we seem to be; not by what we say, but how we are heard; and not by what we do, but how we appear to do it. Dyer 2006

Mental Models… Are deeply ingrained assumptions, generalizations, or even pictures or images that influence how we understand the world and how we take action. Very often we are not consciously aware of our mental models or the effects that have on our behavior.

Perceptions I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realized that what you heard is not what I meant.

Perceptions “Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is.” William James (1842-1910) American psychologist and philosopher

Area of Unknown Activity Johari Window Known to self Not known to others I Area of Free Activity II Blind Area III Hidden or Avoided Area IV Area of Unknown Activity

What Do the Best Leaders Have in Common? What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman What Do the Best Leaders Have in Common? A high degree of emotional intelligence Great leaders come in all shapes and sizes. Some are reserved and analytical, while others shout their messages from the mountaintops. Different situations call for different styles. But the best leaders all have a high degree of emotional intelligence. This is the ability to monitor your feelings and those of others and to use that information to guide your thinking and behavior. Harvard Business Review

What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman Emotional intelligence is twice as important as technical skills or IQ. Technical skills and smarts matter, of course, but they’re essentially table stakes for leadership positions: Although you need them to get into the game, they don’t guarantee that you’ll win. Emotional intelligence is twice as important for jobs at all levels. And in the top tier, it accounts for nearly 90% of the difference between average and star performers. Harvard Business Review

Emotional Intelligence People higher in emotional intelligence are happier with their lives and perform better on the job.

Components of Emotional Intelligence What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman Components of Emotional Intelligence 1 2 3 4 Self awareness Self- Management Social Awareness Relationship Management Daniel Goleman identified five components of emotional intelligence. Let’s look at each one so that you can start to recognize these qualities in yourself and your employees and see how they make leaders more effective. Harvard Business Review

What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 1 Self-Awareness The ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen. This includes keeping on top of how you tend to respond to specific situations and certain people. The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

1 Self-Awareness Recognizes how behavior impacts others What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 1 Self-Awareness Recognizes how behavior impacts others Is confident in abilities Acknowledges own shortcomings Is aware of own emotions as they happen The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 1 Self-Awareness Leaders who see themselves clearly also see their organizations (e.g., Chapters and Areas) clearly. The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 2 Self-Management The ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior. This means managing your emotional reactions to all situations and people. The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

2 Self-Management Considers many options before making a decision What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 2 Self-Management Considers many options before making a decision Strives to make the most out of situations whether good or bad Embraces change early on Tolerates frustration without getting upset The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 2 Self-Management Leaders who control their feelings create an atmosphere of fairness and trust. The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 3 Social Awareness The ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and get what is really going on. This often means understanding what other people are thinking and feeling, even if you don’t feel the same way. The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

3 Social Awareness Is open to feedback Notices other people’s feelings What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 3 Social Awareness Is open to feedback Notices other people’s feelings Picks up the mood in the room Hears what others are really saying The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 3 Social Awareness “I understand why you’re worried, and I promise to keep you informed.” The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

Relationship Management What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 4 Relationship Management The ability to use awareness of one’s emotions and the emotions of others to successfully manage interactions by letting emotional awareness guide clear communication and effectively handle conflict. The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

Relationship Management What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 4 Relationship Management Communicates clearly and effectively Handles conflict effectively Uses sensitivity to another person’s feelings to manage interactions Learns about others in order to get along better with them The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

Relationship Management What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman 4 Relationship Management Teams can be cauldrons bubbling with emotions. A leader has to make sense of all those emotions—and help members work in collaboration. The first component is self-awareness. This means thoroughly understanding yourself and your effect on others. It shows up mainly as knowledge of strengths and weaknesses. For example, a self-aware person who struggles with deadlines plans ahead. Self-aware employees welcome feedback. Another sign is a self-deprecating sense of humor. You see this in people who admit to failure easily and with a smile. You might notice it when asking a job candidate to describe a past mistake. A third sign is confidence. Self-aware people know their abilities and play to their strengths. But they don’t overreach and aren’t afraid to ask for help. Harvard Business Review

Emotional intelligence can be learned What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman Emotional intelligence can be learned As we’ve seen, emotional intelligence is a complex attribute with five distinct dimensions: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill. You probably know people who are strong in some of these areas but sadly lacking in others. This raises the question: Is emotional intelligence a fixed quality, or can it be learned? Fortunately, although science reveals a strong genetic component, that’s not the whole story. Let’s look at a case from the author’s research. Harvard Business Review

Emotional Intelligence What Makes a Leader? Based on the article by Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence Nice to have Need to have It takes enormous commitment and work to cultivate emotional intelligence. It’s much harder to develop empathy than to learn regression analysis, for instance. But the benefits of emotional intelligence more than repay the effort. For today’s business leaders, this quality is not a “nice to have”—it’s a “need to have” that makes for star performance.   End of presentation Harvard Business Review

Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTmPyhfY7FQ

Emotional Intelligence Reflection Questions Describe a leader that you know who is very strong in the area of Emotional Intelligence. Describe some of her/his characteristics.   Describe a leader that you know who is very weak in the area of Emotional Intelligence. Describe why you would describe them as such. Choose an area that you feel you do exceptionally well. Describe a recent incident when you exhibited that characteristic. Knowing what you know now, what is one area that your Chapter or Area would benefit from you doing better?

Reflection Question #1 Describe a leader that you know who is very strong in the area of Emotional Intelligence. Describe some of her/his characteristics.  

Reflection Question #2   Describe a leader that you know who is very weak in the area of Emotional Intelligence. Describe why you would describe them as such.

Reflection Question #3   Choose an area that you feel you do exceptionally well. Describe a recent incident when you exhibited that characteristic.

Reflection Question #4   Knowing what you know now, what is one area that your Chapter or Area would benefit from you doing better?

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence You have a robust emotional vocabulary  You’re curious about people  You embrace change  You know your strengths and weaknesses  You’re a good judge of character  You are difficult to offend    Excerpted from the article, “Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Here’s How to Know for Sure” by Travis Bradberry

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence (cont’d) You know how to say no (to yourself and others)  You let go of mistakes  You give and expect nothing in return  You don’t hold grudges  You neutralize toxic people  You don’t seek perfection    Excerpted from the article, “Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Here’s How to Know for Sure” by Travis Bradberry

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence (cont’d) You appreciate what you have You disconnect You limit your caffeine intake You get enough sleep You stop negative self-talk in its tracks You won’t let anyone limit your joy    Excerpted from the article, “Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Here’s How to Know for Sure” by Travis Bradberry

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence Choose 1-2 of these that you really resonate and discuss why.

Emotional Intelligence A take-away from this session is… I commit to…   I promise myself…