A Personal and Social Skills Approach to PROBLEM SOLVING Poplar Middle School

INTRODUCTION 2. Learn to relate to other people in positive ways. All students deserve to be happy and healthy and go to school in a safe and positive learning environment. This guide has been created especially for students of Poplar Middle School to utilize a personal and social skills approach to problem solving to do their part in making that happen. In this discussion you will: 1. Learn to deal with feelings in healthy ways. 2. Learn to relate to other people in positive ways. 3. Learn to view problems as opportunities to grow and learn. 4. Learn about strategies to use to find solutions to problems.

FEELINGS

If you don’t manage your emotions, then your emotions will manage you.

STRATEGIES RELAX EXPRESS YOURSELF TALK TO SOMEONE (Self-Care) -Take a deep breath -Use your posture -Go for a walk -Exercise -Connect with nature -Listen to music -Drink lots of water -Eat a healthy snack -Take a break -Activity you enjoy (Healthy and Safe) -Write a poem or story -Write a letter -Keep a journal -Draw a picture -Create a piece of art -Develop an action plan -Use positive self-talk -Read about issues that concern you* *Resource: www.kids health.org (Support System) -Parents/Family -School Counselor -Teachers/Staff -Other Trusted Adults -Friends* -Hotlines -Community Support Services *Sometimes problems are to big to put on friends, and adult help is necessary.

PEOPLE Every person is a unique individual with his or her own personal traits, opinions, and challenges. People grow up in a wide variety of circumstances, and those experiences have a huge impact on their view of the world, they way they feel about themselves and how they get along with others. People sometimes do things that disappoint us. Sometimes they have problems that are getting in the way of their relationships with others. It is important for us to learn to not let other peoples problems become ours. Using your positive influence by choosing to be polite, assertive and willing to work it out are great ways to get along better with others.

other people. You can only control yourself. And... You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself. And... You always have a choice.

STRATEGIES BE POLITE BE ASSERTIVE WORK IT OUT -Please/Thank you -Listen attentively -Please/Thank you -Say “excuse me” -Offer to help -Keep hands/ feet to self -Respect personal space -Say nice things to others -Be appropriate -Hold the door for others -Respect property of others -Follow directions -Stay calm -Use your breathing and posture -Be confident -Be specific -Talk in statements -Avoid commands or questions that put people on the spot -Use “I” messages -Get help if necessary -Consider feelings of others -Listen to both sides -Identify what you need -Consider possible options -Go for a win-win -Make a commitment - Admit if you were wrong -Make or accept a sincere apology

PROBLEMS Differences can often lead to conflict. While conflict is not necessarily a bad thing, if it is not handled in a productive way, it can turn into a serious problem that can lead to bad things. While it is important for us to respect each others differences, it is also important to understand that we have many things in common, too. We are all human beings with feelings. We all need to feel safe and to be accepted by others, and we want to grow up to be successful people with options in life. When we show respect for others and understand that we actually have common goals, we can begin to answer the questions that address problems in positive way. The first part of solving a problem involves being able to define that problem, identify what led to the problem and the consequences. Then you can decide what action you need to take that will make for a more positive outcome for you.

Everyone has them, and problems are not always negative. They can be viewed as opportunities To grow and learn.  

STRATEGIES Describe the problem. What happened before?   A clearly defined problem can help you see more precisely what needs to change for you. The problem could be a behavior, an event or a situation. What happened before? Events that led up to the problem can help you see how to prevent the problem from happening by taking a positive action before it becomes a problem. What happened after? Thinking about the consequences of the problem can help you identify a more positive outcome for you in the future.

MY STRATEGIES Using information you learned from this discussion, what strategies would you use to manage your feelings and get along better with others?

Manage my Feelings. .____________________________________________________________________ Get Along Better with Others.

Professional School Counselor QUESTIONS? Prepared by Laura Lake, M.Ed. Professional School Counselor Poplar Middle School Poplar, MT FALL 2018