parent’s discipline We are on a mission. We are to consider ourselves "ambassadors for Christ" (2 Cor 5:20) in every area of life. For parents, this means being a faithful steward (1 Cor 4:2) in using biblical principles to raise our children. We are to call our children to be reconciled to God (2 Cor 5:18) and to serve the Lord (Col 3:20). On this journey, our ambassadorship takes on several different roles in order to help us fulfill our ultimate goal.

the parent as disciplinarian Eph. 6:4 says, And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This verse contains several key phrases. The term "bring them up" is an active, continuous command. We noted discipline is best explained under the general heading training, which includes such tools as rules, guidelines, restrictions, rewards, correction, and structure. Some "experts" (who came t o their conclusions merely through observation of children) tell us that discipline is harsh and out of date, and that parents are not proficient enough to do the job. What kind of trust, however, can one place in the results of sinful minds studying sinful man? Certainly, their conclusions contradict the clear teaching of Scripture. The following verses still apply today: Prov. 13:24; 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15 We can't ignore these passages because of our culture. Some question discipline by saying that "many who were disciplined firmly turned out badly." But that's not the fault of biblical discipline...in fact, it may be the fault of unbiblical discipline. Let's look at why discipline may not be effective. . .or in other words, let's look at some characteristics of unbiblical discipline.

unbiblical discipline This is too much discipline without a balance of instruction. Correction alone does not produce the kind of change that we desire in our children because the child is not building inner convictions. Eph. 6:4 balances discipline with biblical instruction. Correct the child when it is required, but also teach. I.e. "The next time you are in a situation like this, what would God desire you to do?" ("What does God's Word say about this type of situation?") Out-of-balance discipline:

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,” (Philippians 2:12, ESV) When the child gets away from the structure, he follows the way he would go, rather than the way he should go. I n contrast, Paul said of the Philippians in 2:12: "So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work o u t your salvation with fear and trembling." Paul had a loving relationship with his disciples that bore even more fruit apart from his presence. Is your correction balanced by your teaching and discussions with your child? If you are depending merely on controlling your child, then what is your child doing or saying when he thinks you aren't around? What is your child's reputation at school, church, etc.? Beware of hypocrisy. If others say your child is usually out-of-line when you aren't around, consider it carefully/humbly.

“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14, ESV)

Martin Luther “Spare the rod and spoil the child – that is true Martin Luther “Spare the rod and spoil the child – that is true. But beside the rod keep an apple to give him when he has done well.”

“Discipline your son while there is hope …” (Proverbs 19:18, NASB95)

“Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed speedily, the heart of the children of man is fully set to do evil.” (Ecclesiastes 8:11, ESV)

“And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them.” (1 Samuel 3:13, ESV) About Eli the priest and his sons, Hophni & Phineas

biblical discipline

“And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons “And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

It is for discipline that you have to endure It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet …

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;” (Hebrews 12:5–15, ESV)

no standard no sin no need for a savior The job of the law is to show our sin and our need for a savior.

low standard no need for a savior Pharisaism The job of the law is to show our sin and our need for a savior.

need the Savior’s grace God’s standard sin abounds need the Savior’s grace The job of the law is to show our sin and our need for a savior. As you can see, parents are not to discipline their children merely to change their behavior; or to "get him off my back"; or to just keep him quiet (so he doesn't embarrass me); or just to "show him who's boss." The goal is to be faithful in teaching our children to understand what it means to know and love Christ and to be obedient to God's Word.

Use the “Y” diagram with children biblical discipline Use the “Y” diagram with children

The model for parenting entails being a disciplinarian and it entails being a teacher “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.” (2 Co 5:9, ESV) “Good sense wins favor, but the way of the treacherous is their ruin.” (Pr 13:15, ESV) “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.” (Pr 29:1, ESV) “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Ga 6:7–9, ESV) “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”” (Mt 11:30, ESV)

parent’s discipline