Dealing with Conflict Be Knowledgeable Be Adaptable Be Motivated Personality Perception Values (6) You Non verbal Empathic Responding Communicate Experience Emotion Needs Other Be Knowledgeable Be Adaptable Be Motivated Be Ethical Be Skillful Be Other-Oriented Dealing with Conflict

Conflict Management Skills Chapter 8

Your Wisdom Small Group Exercise What is conflict? Why do you think conflict occurs? What are some things you have done to resolve conflict?

Definition Interpersonal Conflict (four elements) An expressed struggle (intrapersonal v. interpersonal) Between at least two interdependent people Who perceive incompatible goals, scare resources or interference from others Attempting to achieve goal (meet needs) p.194

Frustration awareness Conflict as Process Frustration awareness Active Conflict End/Aftermath Prior conditions Resolution Constructive Resolution destructive p.195-197

Conflict triggers Big six Entitlement and Fairness Power Social issues (beliefs/values) Personal flaws Distrust Intimacy Personal distance p. 197 115

Conflict Types Pseudo (lack of understanding) Simple (different ideas, perceptions, goals) Ego (personal, contempt) Check perception, listen/look, establish support Clarify, focus on facts, look for solution, issue triage, find some truth, assertive withdrawal Guide back to simple conflict, seek solution not victory, write it down, do not reciprocate Summary p.202

Conflict Concerns Two potential concerns/factors Maintaining a good relationship with the other person Achieving your goals and meeting our needs

What are you… …most of the time?

Conflict Strategies The Turtle (Avoidance/withdrawing) Give up both your needs and goals, fail to address relational issues Good: Hostile Stranger Bad: Relationships suffer The Shark (Competition/forcing) Meet own needs and goals, no relational concerns Good: Buying a car, sports The Teddy Bear (Accommodating/smoothing) Gives up own needs and goals, high relational concerns Good: goals is of no importance Bad: habit, personal needs suffer p.205-210

Conflict Strategies The Fox (Compromising) Gives up part of needs and goals in order to reach agreement Good: quick resolution, considers limitations of others Bad: personal needs and goals impacted The Owl (Collaboration/Problem Solving) Ensuring both parties needs and goals are meet, win-win Good: improves relationship and productivity Bad: time consuming p.205-210

Conflict Management Skills There are five conflict management skills: Manage your emotions Manage information (flow of, process) Be empathic Manage goals (problem-goal) Problem solving (manage problem) Copyright © 2007 Pearson Education Canada

1. Manage Emotions Be aware of that you are becoming angry and emotionally volatile Understand your anger Make a conscious decision about whether to express your anger Select a mutually acceptable time and place to discuss conflict Plan your message Copyright © 2007 Pearson Education Canada

Manage Emotions continued: Breathe Monitor your non-verbal messages Avoid personal attacks, name-calling, and emotional overstatement Take time to establish rapport Use self-talk Copyright © 2007 Pearson Education Canada

2. Manage information/process 3. Be empathic Please understand me…

4. Manage Goals 5. Manage the Problem Identify your goals and your partner’s goals Identify where your goals and your partner’s goals overlap 5. Manage the Problem Define the problem Analyze the problem Determine the goals Generate multiple solutions Select and try the best solution Set a time to evaluate the chosen solution Copyright © 2007 Pearson Education Canada