Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. www.bullyfree.com abeane@bullyfree.com

by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. www.bullyfree.com abeane@bullyfree.com The Bully Free Program: A Sampling of Strategies for Teachers and Counselors by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. www.bullyfree.com abeane@bullyfree.com

Anti-bullying Program Philosophy A whole school system approach is most effective. It is the little things we do every day that makes a difference in attitudes, thinking, and behavior. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Event and Process Oriented Not just Bully Free Assembly Programs, Bully Free Month, etc. Includes curriculum and strategies (administrative and teacher-centered) On-going effort to promote the Golden Rule Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Any program should be flexible enough to allow for the creativity of school personnel and the discovery of new effective strategies, activities, and resources. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

(Program Materials and Resources) Bully Free Kits For Teachers For Counselors/Psychologists School Support Kits (Program Materials and Resources) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Bully Free Program Lesson Plans Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Presentation Goals To present a sampling of prevention and intervention strategies from the Bully Free Program. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Sampling of Strategies Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

President Jimmy Carter said: “Peace is active, not passive Peace is doing, not waiting, Peace, like war, must be waged.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Classroom-Centered Strategies Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Classroom-Centered Strategies Bully Free Lesson Plans for All Grade Levels (Preschool – High School) Harness the energy of students (poems, skits, bulletin boards, posters, banners, songs, Bully Free Bracelets) – establish a Peers for Peace Club- Bully Free Club or Establishing a Bully Free Club -- have a Campaign Against Bullying – Bully Free Student Council Handbook) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Student Involvement Activity PSA By Murray High Students Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Help students recognize and understand bullying Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

PowerPoint Developed by 6th Grade Student Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

6th Grade Brandy Heaffner What is Bullying? www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Did you know? The word “bully” used to mean the total opposite of what it means now. Five hundred years ago, it meant friend, family member or sweetheart. The root of the word comes from the Dutch boel, meaning lover or brother. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Bullying can be... One person making fun of another. One person trying to beat up another. A group of people ganging up against others. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

How does it make you feel? Depressed Hurt Alone Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Does it have to be a part of growing up? No Each and every person has the right to feel safe in your life and good about yourself. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

The 3 types of Bullying. www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

The three types with examples Physical Bullying Verbal Bullying Relationship Bullying Hitting, Kicking, or Pushing someone Stealing, Hiding or ruining someone's things Making someone do something he or she doesn't want to do Name calling Teasing Insulting Refusing to talk to someone Spreading lies and rumors about someone Making someone feel left out or rejected Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Who is a Bully? www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

All bullies have one thing in common: Something or someone is making them feel insecure. ~Therefore they bully to make themselves feel better. They could have something going on in their family. They might not feel like they are getting enough attention from parents or teachers. They might have watched their parents or older siblings get their way by being angry and pushy. Maybe they are also bullied. They might be spoiled by their parents. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Who is a Target for Bullying? www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Possible reasons for being a Target. The bully or the target are either smaller or bigger than most kids their age. The target may be a minority. May have a disability. Maybe you have a name that is not ordinary. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Possible reasons for being a Target. If you get anxious or upset easily. If you usually are alone and don't have many friends. If you don't have a lot of confidence and don't stand up for yourself. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

How to Deal with Bullying!! Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

What to do “In the moment” Ignore them! Pretend you didn’t hear them Don’t even look at them Don’t Cry Don’t get angry Don’t show them that you are upset Talk about it to someone else Write it down so you don’t forget to tell someone Respond to the Bully evenly and firmly Continued Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

“In the moment” continued Turn the comment into a joke. Turn and walk away. Remove yourself from the situation. Go somewhere that an adult is present. Remember you are not the one with the problem. The bully is. Talk to an adult! Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Ways to avoid future bullying Don’t bring expensive things or money to school. Label your belongings with permanent marker in case they get stolen. Avoid unsupervised areas. Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to class. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

More ways to avoid future bullying Act confident. Hold your head up, stand up strait, and make eye contact. Don’t walk alone, travel with at least one other person. Avoid places where bullying happens. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Why do others LET it happen? Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Reasons The bully is someone others look up to and want to hang out with. They want to “side” with the bully because to do that makes them feel strong. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Reasons They’re entertained by the bullying. They don’t think speaking up will help. They’re afraid that if they say something, the bully will turn on them. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Some things you can say if someone is getting bullied. "That's Not Funny" "How would you like it if someone did that to you?" "Cut it out" Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Stand up for someone when he or she needs it, and when you need it, someone will stand up for you. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Are you a Bully? www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Ask yourself these questions. Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things? Are you bigger and stronger than other people your age? Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way? Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Have you been bullied by someone in the past and feel like you have to make up for doing the same thing to others? Do you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them? Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

How can you STOP being a Bully? Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

If you are a bully, here are some ways to stop. Apologize to people that you have bullied, and follow it up by being friendly. They might not trust you right away, but eventually they will see that you have changed. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

More ways to stop If you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem. If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to a school counselor about it. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Questions? www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Credits Source- www.pbskids.org/itsmylife Publication Year- 2005 Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Encourage students to reflect on past bullying Train students in conflict management (Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Anger control (Help Students Manage Their Anger) Use photographs—class scrapbook, class directory, bulletin board (promotes unity) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Ask students to display strengths (opportunities to shine) Avoid displaying weaknesses (reading out loud, working at the board, etc.) Ask students to display strengths (opportunities to shine) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Keep grades a private matter Identify similarities (My Favorite Things) Involve class in service projects—creates unity Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Discuss models of acceptance (newspaper stories, television stories, movies, etc.) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Ask students to track bullying on television (Track Bullying on TV) Discuss songs (Don’t Laugh at Me by Mark Wills and One of these Days by Tim McGraw) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Discuss scenes in movies such as Mask [Universal Studios], Forrest Gump [Paramount Pictures], and The Elephant Man, etc. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

What questions about this movie clip would you ask students? “Mask” Movie Clip What questions about this movie clip would you ask students? Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Mask (Universal City Studios, Inc. 1985) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Victim-Centered Strategies Sampling of Victim-Centered Strategies Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Sampling of Victim-Centered Strategies Victims need help in managing the hurt. Victims need to learn how to deal with bullies. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Safety Plan Strategies: Immediately develop a safety plan for the victim: Avoid places where bully hangs out Never walk alone Never go to the bathroom alone Don’t use same hallway and stairwell Report to an adult each day Bully required to stay in room longer Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Discuss with victims the coping strategies from anti-bullying books for students (i.e., How to Be Bully Free or other anti-bullying books). Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Encourage and assist parents by providing them with anti-bullying books (i.e., Protect Your Child from Bullying by Allan L. Beane or other anti-bullying books). Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Parents given access to Helpful Facts for Parents on the school’s server. Use the Bully Free Intervention Questionnaire to discover the needs of victims and to develop an intervention plan. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Teach students to avoid retaliation. Retaliation can lead to bullying getting worse or lasting longer (Kochenderfer and Ladd, 1997). Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Normalize appearance (clothing, disfigurement, etc.) Normalize behavior (aggressive, disruptive, mannerisms, etc.) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Develop social skills and teach how to make friends Children with at least one friend are less likely to be bullied (Hodges, Malone, and Perry, 1997). Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Having a “best friend:” Protects students who have been bullied from continued bullying. Helps victims have fewer resulting emotional problems. Helps victims have fewer behavioral problems (Hodges, Boivin, Vitaro, and Bukowski, 1999). Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Encourage positive self-talk (Messages from Me to Me). Develop self-confidence and self-esteem (martial arts, give choices and brag on choices, emotional rehearsal, visualization, etc.). Encourage positive self-talk (Messages from Me to Me). Develop skills of social value. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Make friends outside school (non-school activities/organizations). Involvement in school activities. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Invite parents of the victim to speak to class. Encourage other school personnel to befriend student. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Provide Assertiveness Training When appropriate, provide professional counseling for the victim (one-to-one or small group of victims). Provide Assertiveness Training Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Assertive strategies: Look confident (assertive body language) Move closer, turn sideways, eye contact Arms beside body and hands in pockets Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Assertive statements – Say with a serious face and strong voice Assertive statements – Say with a serious face and strong voice. “This is a waste of my time, I don’t have to listen to this. I’m out of here.” (Then walk off confidently.) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Fogging—(admit characteristic) soft verbal comebacks Exhaust the topic (repeated questioning about putdown) Admit the Obvious—point out that the bully sees the obvious—”Wow! He noticed I have big ears.” Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Broken record — repeat “What did you say. ” or “That’s your opinion Broken record — repeat “What did you say?” or “That’s your opinion.” or “So.” Expose ignorance of bully (i.e., facts regarding a medical problem or disability) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Give permission to tease– “Well, it’s okay to say what you want Give permission to tease– “Well, it’s okay to say what you want. It doesn’t bother me.” Use sense of humor (do not make the bully feel like he/she is being laughed at) Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Encourage the victim to keep a journal. Make an asset of characteristic—”Well, I guess Michael Jordan and I are alike, we both don’t have hair. Encourage the victim to keep a journal. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Sampling of Bully-Centered Strategies Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Sampling of Bully-Centered Strategies Discuss with bully the strategies from anti-bullying books for students (i.e., How to Be Bully Free by Allan L. Beane or other anti-bullying books). Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Encourage and assist parents by providing them with anti-bullying books (Protect Your Child from Bullying by Allan L. Beane or other anti-bullying books). Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Parents given access to Helpful Facts for Parents on the school’s server. Use the Bully Free Intervention Questionnaire to determine the needs of the bully and to develop an intervention plan. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Consistently applying negative consequences for bullying behavior. Immediately reinforce/reward positive and accepting behaviors. Reward improvements in behavior. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Require the bully to apologize and ask forgiveness, in writing. Teach bully that power can be experienced through doing good (e.g., service projects, positive role in class). Require the bully to apologize and ask forgiveness, in writing. Ask the bully to promise you he/she will not bully anymore. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Use Behavioral Contracts No Contact Contract Help bully find an area of interest and a hobby, a job, or a way to provide a community service. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Ask some adult(s) to mentor the bully. Teach leadership skills to bully. May have leadership potential but rely on negative ways to influence others—this prevents him/her from developing leadership skills (Cairns, Cairns, Neckerman, Grest, and Gariepy, 1988). Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Learn about the bully and his or her family — communicate that you value him/her as a human being and that you care about his/her future. – Relational Discipline Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

When appropriate, seek professional counseling for the bully. Develop impulse control, anger control and empathy—how to make friends. When appropriate, seek professional counseling for the bully. Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Empowering Bystanders Assertiveness Skills Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Good-Bye Bully Machine Book Empowers Bystanders Bully Free Lesson Plans Empower Bystanders Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Prevent and Stop Bullying Now! Bully Free Presentations for: Students School Personnel School Resource Officers Youth Workers/Ministers Parents Workshops and Keynote Addresses Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Questions www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

I Challenge You! I Dare You! www.bullyfree.com Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com

Together We Can Make Our Schools Bully Free Copyright May 2005, Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved www.bullyfree.com