Lesson 7 Proverbs

The Tongue (Part 1) How can the same message provoke opposite responses? The heart of the speaker. The heart of the hearer. If the heart of the speaker is right, he will guard his mouth: Pr. 13:2-3 - “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Pr. 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Col. 4:6 – “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

Crucial Conversation Short List Crucial Conversation Defined Stakes are high Opinions vary Emotions run high Handling Options Avoid them Handle badly Handle well Crucial Conversations Require Belief in principle Belief God can transform Belief that change can occur Fools Choice Speak up and it goes bad Keep quiet & let it happen We seek to foster dialog so thoughts, opinions, and feelings can be shared to generate better understanding and buy-in. Dialog is hindered by silence and violence. We have to start with our hearts and what we want for ourselves, the other person, and our relationship.

The Proper Use of the Tongue To Calm Anger Pr. 15:1 - “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” Pr. 12:18 – “…the tongue of the wise promotes health.” Pr. 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” A bad example. 2 Sam. 19:41-43 How do we know when to calm? Pay attention Look for change in tone, expression, or behavior What do we do to bring calm? Return to safety by establishing common purpose and motive Change my tone and choice of words

The Proper Use of the Tongue To Disperse Knowledge Pr. 15:7 - “The lips of the wise disperse knowledge.” 2 Tim 2:2 – “…and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” Eph. 4:29 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” How? Provoke thought: Jesus asked questions Proclaim with confidence: Peter and John spoke boldly – Acts 4:13

The Proper Use of the Tongue To Rebuke Sin Pr. 27:6 - “Faithful are the wounds of a friend...” Pr. 28:23 – “He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue.” Mt. 16: 21-23: Jesus rebuked Peter John 13:1-9: Jesus rebuked Peter about washing his feet. Mt. 14:1-12: John the Baptist speaking against Herod’s sin Why? Save a soul from death. James 5:20 – “…let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”

The Proper Use of the Tongue To Encourage Others Pr. 15:23 - “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!” Pr. 15:26 – “The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD, but gracious words are pure.” Pr. 16:13 – “Righteous lips are the delight of a king, and he loves him who speaks what is right.” Pr. 22:11 – “He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.” Pr. 10:11 – “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.” Pr. 10:21 – “The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense.”

The Proper Use of the Tongue Conclusion Pr. 16:23-4 - “The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” James 3:8 – “…but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” It can be bridled