A Case for Professional counselling Meeting heart to heart!

A Case for Professional counselling Definition Counselling and the African Culture How Professional Counselling works Personal Experience with Professional Counselling The Birthing of Hope Alive Ministry Emotional Intelligence

A Case for Professional counselling Definition …a unique relationship where the counsellor, trained and skilled, applies specific applicable theoretical approach to assist in cognitive, affect, behavioural, developmental and systemic intervention addressing wellness, personal growth, decision making, finding meaning, and various life challenges Unlike the direct dictionary definitions of counselling, unlike advice giving and general wisdom sharing, professional counselling definition is challenging due to the diversity of methods and approaches, uses and activities and theoretical perspectives. From all those schorlarly definitions, here’s what I came up with… Wisdom sharig can be effective but true counselling requires training and skills.

A Case for Professional counselling Counseling and the African culture Major factors contributing to the bias: the communal living where everyone’s business is everyone’s business although people had the capacity to keep secrets, confidentiality within the extended family was, almost, irrelevant; the issue of shame; the ‘grace factor;’ and spirituality.

A Case for Professional counselling How Counseling Works Collaborative work – working alliance Educative – bring awareness when needed Facilitation – healthy communication Process – acknowledge the issue as real; non judgmental; brainstorm Respectful; Confidentiality; Listening; The answers are in you; you are the master of your own situation; counselor is more of a facilitator, an inspector helping to find the answers within you, and a student;

A Case for Professional counselling Experience With Personal Counseling Back to school – adult ed. ‘Not telling’ thoughts ‘almost forced to tell’ First real session The healing of my heart’s hurts (buried alive) Real true deep compassion (family, friendships, workplace)

A Case for Professional counselling The Birthing of Hope Alive Ministry Hope Alive Counseling Services One on one Pre-marital Marital Family Friendships Group

A Case for Professional counselling Hope Alive Ministry …personal and relational wholeness…connecting heart to heart Activities: Counseling (on-going); Training/workshops/seminars (planned/by invitation); Retreat (yearly theme) Where we meet: Online; Telephone; In-office Outreach (giving back) – Center for Suicide Prevention; Treasured (Nigeria); All Woman Ministry (Ghana) MAIN FOCUS: Training/workshops/seminars - Personal and Relational Wholeness: Addressing Relational Woundedness-relating more effectively in relationships HUGELY INVOLVES EMOTIONAL INTELLEGENCE

"Medical research increasingly points to the fact that thinking and consciously controlling your thought life is one of the best ways, if not the best way of detoxing your brain. It allows you to get rid of those toxic thoughts and emotions that can consume and control your mind." Dr. Caroline Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology specializing in Neuropsychology. www.drleaf.com First let me introduce…. http://youtu.be/dzjTHckGq7U

A Case for Professional counselling Emotional Intelligence What are emotions? ... the combination of mental evaluation process, simple and complex, with dispositional responses to that process, mostly toward the body proper, resulting in an emotional body state, but also toward the brain itself...resulting in additional mental changes"* Emotions are episodic: not meant to last a long time! It can be effectively controlled, put under check to avoid potential dangers So, what is EI?

The psychological damage of our woundedness

Emotional intelligence "...abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope"* Emotional intelligence pg. 34

Emotional intelligence - Quotes "How we do life is determined by both...(IQ and EI)...when these partners interact well, emotional intelligence rises-as does intellectual ability"* correlatively, EI impacts interpersonal intelligence, that is "the ability to understand other people...(and) how to work corporately with them"* Emotional intelligence pg. 28 Pg 39

Emotional intelligence: How to develop EI - 5 domains 1) Self Awareness - know your emotions: moment to moment monitoring. Think before you talk. 2) Handling feelings - managing your emotions: self-sooth, learn to comfort yourself; learn healthy confrontation; shake off negative emotions; be positive 3) Self motivation - motivate yourself: remind yourself of self control; deep breathing exercises 4) Others-focus - recognize emotions in others: develop and improve on your people skill - "empathy kindles altruism" 5) The art of relationships - handling your relationships: develop and improve social competence Emotional intelligence pg43

Out of the fullness of your heart your mouth speaks..... "...Emotional intelligence adds far more of the qualities that make us more fully human"* Out of the fullness of your heart your mouth speaks..... Check your hearts… "What's in your heart?"

Emotions affect character, attitude, behaviour Emotions affect character, attitude, behaviour. Hope Alive Ministry promotes heart connections in all of our activities…… Hope Alive Ministry …personal and relational wholeness…connecting heart to heart

A Case for Professional counselling THANK YOU!