“Tools” for Training in Righteousness Spanking/Consequences Teaching/Instructing Rebuking/Correcting Activity/Drilling/Practicing Modeling by Personal Example

Rebuking/Correcting At first, correction and rebuke might seem like negative things, but the scriptures view wise and godly correction as necessary and positive: Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:5-6) Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear. (Proverbs 25:12 NIV) Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don't let me refuse it. (Psalm 141:5a NLT)

Rebuking/Correcting Those who receive a godly rebuke are wise will and benefit from it: …rebuke a wise man and he will love you. . (Proverbs 9:8b NIV) A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool. (Proverbs 17:10 ESV) Those who will not accept wise and godly correction are foolish: he who hates correction is stupid. (Proverbs 12:1b NIV) Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. (Proverbs 9:7 NIV)

Rebuking/Correcting If your children are wise, they will receive your correction and benefit from it: A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. (Proverbs 13:1 ESV) If your children will not accept correction, you will need to escalate. If you don’t, it will ultimately lead to their demise: A servant cannot be corrected by mere words; though he understands, he will not respond. (Proverbs 29:19 NIV) Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing …So he said to them, "Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. …His sons, however, did not listen to their father's rebuke, for it was the LORD's will to put them to death. (1Samuel 2:22-25 NIV)

When is Rebuking/Correcting Appropriate? Parents should be prepared for and expect their children to fail or act foolishly; it would be unnatural if they didn’t. Each failure should be viewed as a training opportunity, not a tragedy. If a child is directly disobedient or acts in defiance, he should be rebuked and disciplined. But if a child acts out of forgetfulness, carelessness, or foolishness, he may simply need to be rebuked or corrected.

When is Rebuking/Correcting Appropriate? Examples where mere rebuke may be appropriate: Parents must know their child and his ability to remember instructions. If a child cannot legitimately remember, he should simply be rebuked for his forgetfulness. A child may not plan on intentionally breaking a window in the house, but may carelessly toss a ball through a window during play in the front room. He should be rebuked, and made to acknowledge his carelessness (as well as help clean up and perhaps help pay for the broken window). Can you think of other examples?