Parenting with 20/20 Vision Presented by: Dr. Julie Hayden, Psy.D. Rhombus Trainings
Looking Back, What to do different Parenting Style Environmental Emotional Physical / Biological Spiritual
Parenting Styles Authoritarian Passive Neglectful Authoritative
Environmental Meet needs appropriately and quickly Build a culture of communication Protect Balance protection and independence
Trauma McCann and Pearlman define trauma as 1) an event that is sudden, unexpected, or non-normative 2) exceeds the individual’s perceived ability to meet its demands 3) disrupts the individual’s frame of reference and other central psychological needs and related schemas
Trauma Trauma can be a life and death danger or a horrible physical/emotional injury or experience, assault, pain or illness Trauma is a life altering violation, betrayal, abandonment Trauma immobilizes/overwhelms normal coping
Types of Trauma Interpersonal Chronic & Complex Trauma Accidental Direct/Indirect Acute Chronic & Complex Trauma Political/Cultural/ System Vicarious
Impact of Trauma Depression Aggression/rage Lack of trust Difficulty in relationships Hyper vigilance Anxiety Health problems Fearfulness Impulsive/risk taking Hopelessness Poor social skills
Impact of Trauma Flashbacks Risk taking & need for excitement Poor memory Promiscuity Dissociation/numbing Difficulty concentrating Substance abuse/addictions Anger Poor problem solving skills
Impact of Trauma Defensiveness Poor eating habits Low self-esteem Negative thoughts and feelings Withdrawn/passive Learning disabilities Brain development Neglecting self and putting others first
Adverse Childhood Experiences Dr. Vincent Felitti of San Diego Kaiser Permanente and Dr. Robert Anda from Center for Disease Control A study that looks at the effects of childhood trauma on a person’s health and well being.
ACE Study Looks at childhood traumas that might include: Abuse: physical, emotional, sexual Neglect Dysfunction within the household: witnessing DV substance abuse within the home mental illness/suicidal member divorce crime/prison by someone in the home
ACE Study Ace score 0-10 As ACE scores go up so does the likelihood of the following: Heart disease Smoking Suicide attempts IV drug user High blood pressure Alcoholism Diabetes Addictions Domestic Violence
Emotional Development Avoid Shaming Make deposits to their love bank Find where they receive pride and accomplishment Be consistent so they can be brave Think about how your kids feel in your presence
Physical / Biological Development Brain Development – Senses Time, and Attention Play Scaffolding
Spiritual Development Impose your Values Model Read Bible Stories Talk out loud about your faith process
In Conclusion, the common preventable difficulties in childhood leading to adult problems… Absent parents Abusive parents Controlling parents Neglectful parents Abuse or Trauma No way to process difficult situations Constant stress in the home