Parenting with 20/20 Vision

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Presentation transcript:

Parenting with 20/20 Vision Presented by: Dr. Julie Hayden, Psy.D. Rhombus Trainings

Looking Back, What to do different Parenting Style Environmental Emotional Physical / Biological Spiritual

Parenting Styles Authoritarian Passive Neglectful Authoritative

Environmental Meet needs appropriately and quickly Build a culture of communication Protect Balance protection and independence

Trauma McCann and Pearlman define trauma as 1) an event that is sudden, unexpected, or non-normative 2) exceeds the individual’s perceived ability to meet its demands 3) disrupts the individual’s frame of reference and other central psychological needs and related schemas

Trauma Trauma can be a life and death danger or a horrible physical/emotional injury or experience, assault, pain or illness Trauma is a life altering violation, betrayal, abandonment Trauma immobilizes/overwhelms normal coping

Types of Trauma Interpersonal Chronic & Complex Trauma Accidental Direct/Indirect Acute Chronic & Complex Trauma Political/Cultural/ System Vicarious

Impact of Trauma Depression Aggression/rage Lack of trust Difficulty in relationships Hyper vigilance Anxiety Health problems Fearfulness Impulsive/risk taking Hopelessness Poor social skills

Impact of Trauma Flashbacks Risk taking & need for excitement Poor memory Promiscuity Dissociation/numbing Difficulty concentrating Substance abuse/addictions Anger Poor problem solving skills

Impact of Trauma Defensiveness Poor eating habits Low self-esteem Negative thoughts and feelings Withdrawn/passive Learning disabilities Brain development Neglecting self and putting others first

Adverse Childhood Experiences Dr. Vincent Felitti of San Diego Kaiser Permanente and Dr. Robert Anda from Center for Disease Control A study that looks at the effects of childhood trauma on a person’s health and well being.

ACE Study Looks at childhood traumas that might include: Abuse: physical, emotional, sexual Neglect Dysfunction within the household: witnessing DV substance abuse within the home mental illness/suicidal member divorce crime/prison by someone in the home

ACE Study Ace score 0-10 As ACE scores go up so does the likelihood of the following: Heart disease Smoking Suicide attempts IV drug user High blood pressure Alcoholism Diabetes Addictions Domestic Violence

Emotional Development Avoid Shaming Make deposits to their love bank Find where they receive pride and accomplishment Be consistent so they can be brave Think about how your kids feel in your presence

Physical / Biological Development Brain Development – Senses Time, and Attention Play Scaffolding

Spiritual Development Impose your Values Model Read Bible Stories Talk out loud about your faith process

In Conclusion, the common preventable difficulties in childhood leading to adult problems… Absent parents Abusive parents Controlling parents Neglectful parents Abuse or Trauma No way to process difficult situations Constant stress in the home