Week 12: INTRODUCTION REVISION ENGL 1301 Mrs. Edlin

INTRODUCTION DISCUSSION What makes a good introduction? Thesis Statement Identification of audience and purpose Contextualization/“Set up” for rhetorical analysis Background information on the text/author

Review: Thesis statements A thesis statement has three practical aims: It tells in a single sentence what your essay is about It helps you organize your essay It reflects your understanding of the topic or text What does the text say? What does the text do?

Review: thesis statements “Musts” in developing a thesis statement: Identify the title of the essay or article you are using as a primary text Identify the author of the primary text Identify rhetorical choices that aid in understanding the purpose/audience of the text Exemplify that you have an understanding of the text’s purpose, audience, context, etc.

Review: thesis statements For your rhetorical analysis, consider the following format for your thesis: In his/her article (title), (author name) uses/employs (rhetorical device 1), (rhetorical device 2), and (rhetorical device 3), in order to (purpose: persuade, entertain, inform) (specific issue).

Revising introductions What is revision? Literally, it means to "re-see." In what ways do you need to “re-see” your introduction and thesis statement? This isn't the same as “I changed a few words and tossed in some commas.”

Revising introductions If you have access to an electronic device, get it out and login to your Raider Writer account. What have peer critique and/or grader commentary said about your introduction and thesis statement that might require revision? Get with a partner or group of classmates working on the same essay as you. Exchange drafts and look specifically for the information in the next slide.

Revising introductions Introduction. Does the opening make readers want to continue? How else might the draft begin? Is there a clear thesis statement? Thesis and purpose. Paraphrase the thesis as a promise: In this paper, the writer will…. Does the draft fulfill that promise? Why, or why not? Does it carry out the writer’s purposes? Does the writer identify the purpose of the original author/essay? Audience. How does the draft interest and appeal to its intended audience? Does the writer identify the audience of the original essay?

BA8: Revision of introduction Objective: To develop new strategies for writing effective introductions for academic papers and to expand your understanding of what makes an effective introduction. Purpose: The introductory paragraph of a document plays a key role in how readers respond to the entire text. In this assignment, you will attempt a revision of your introduction to Draft 1.1. Keep in mind that your original introduction may remain the better of your two efforts.

BA8: Revision of introduction Description: Your completed assignment should contain the following: A copy of your original introduction Your revised introduction A short summary and evaluation of your revisions, in which you identify and explain what you changed and why The total length of the analysis should be 300-400 words, NOT including the original and revised introductions.

BA8: Tips for Revision of introduction Before you start to revise, take a few minutes to review key elements of your Draft 1.1, such as your audience, purpose, and thesis statement. Your new introduction should reflect your consideration for each of these as well as indicate your understanding of what a rhetorical analysis accomplishes.

BA8: Tips for Revision of introduction Next, study your original introduction and any comments that your instructors or peer critiquers made about that introduction. Using this feedback along with your broader understanding of a rhetorical analysis, revise your original introduction so that it more effectively reaches your readers.

BA8: Tips for Revision of introduction Please note that if you need to revise for coherence, emphasis, or conciseness, refer to Chs. 40 and 43 of your e-handbook. If you need to work on sentence structure, see Chs. 34-39. If you need to work on other grammatical and/or mechanical elements, consult the appropriate chapters.

Other homework St. Martin's Handbook: Chapters 34-39, "Confusing Shifts," "Parallelism," Comma Splices and Fused Sentences," Sentence Fragments," "Modifier Placement," Consistent and Complete Structures"; Chapters 41-42, "Coordination and Subordination," "Sentence Variety"

Upcoming study sessions for draft 1.2 Wednesday, November 19 Thursday, November 20 ENGL Room 352 Come-and-go from 5:00-7:00