LEARNING ABOUT L.I.F.E. A family-based program on relationships and abuse prevention By Sister Kieran Sawyer, SSND and Kathie Amidei Copyright Proud to Protect, LLC

L I F E LOVE (family love, commitment) INFATUATION (falling-in-love) FRIENDSHIP (peers) E EXPLOITATION (using)

LIFE has taught me that …

Fran / Fred Ida / Ike (F = Friend) A friend of the other gender who is NOT your boy-friend or girl-friend. Ida / Ike (I = Infatuation) A person of the other gender who IS (or might be) your boy-friend or girl-friend.

Letters from teens

N T HH H+K PK ST SI Noticing Talking Holding Hands Hugging and Kissing Passionate Kissing Sexual Touch Sexual Intercourse

HORMONES testosterone progesterone estrogen oxytocin (not oxycontin)

S A C F IF RL Stranger Acquaintance Classmate Friend Intimate Friend Real Love

N T HH H+K PK ST SI S A C F IF RL

N T HH H+K PK ST SI S A C F IF RL MARRIAGE

--for richer, for poorer --in sickness and in health REAL LOVE --for better, for worse --for richer, for poorer --in sickness and in health --in good times and in bad --in joy and in sorrow till death do us part.

N T HH H+K PK ST SI “Arousal is Spousal”

N > T > HH > H+K > PK > ST > SI LUST OR LOVE

LUST Sex for ME for Pleasure, Power, Passion Sexual Exploitation

LOVE Sex as a sign of TOTAL COMMITMENT Sex as a SACRAMENT Pope John Paul II Theology of the Body

SEXUAL ABUSE OF TEENS BY TEENS

Three categories of exploitation:

IF IT ISN’T REAL LOVE… DON’T

IF IT IS REAL LOVE… WAIT

Two conflicting messages: which one are you listening to? Teen World Realities Two conflicting messages: which one are you listening to?

Parent-Teen Dialogue

L.I.F.E. Report Card A = Almost always; Amazingly good progress B = Best effort; Better than before C = Could Care more D = Doesn’t really try F = Forgets Frequently

I Corinthians 13 Love is always patient and kind; Love is never jealous; Love is not boastful or conceited, Love is not rude, and never seeks its own advantage; Love does not take offense, or store up grievances. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in truth.

Love is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. As it is, these three will last: Faith, Hope, and Love, And the greatest of these is LOVE.