Birth Order The order in which children are born into a family influences the development of the children.

What does your place in the family determine about your personality? Are you the first born? How about in the middle? Maybe you are the youngest or “the baby”? Or could you be the only child? What does your place in the family determine about your personality?

Birth Order Oldest children bear the burden of the parents’ heaviest expectations and also of the parents’ inexperience in raising children. Second or third children are generally treated in a more relaxed way by the parents, but sometimes rebellious and open to new experiences. Youngest children are usually the most creative and can be manipulative to get his or her way but often have a more difficult time in making the transition to adulthood.

First-Born/Oldest Anything a first-born child does is a big deal, simply because it’s a first for his or her family. Until a second child comes along, family and friends usually shower first-borns with attention. As a result, many first-born kids end up with a lot of natural confidence. They are ambitious, assertive, dominant and disciplined.

First-Born/Oldest You are confident and determined! Naturally you are a born leader. Organized Eager to please and likes to avoid trouble.

Oldest Child Usually set up as an example to the other children. Treated more like an adult by his/her parents. A high achiever. Given and accepts more responsibility than the other children. Usually college-bound. Independent. Affectionate.

Your feelings might be: “Everyone depends on me.” “I can’t get away with anything.” “I don’t get to be a kid.” “Why do I have to do it” Nobody else does anything around here.” “How come I’m responsible for what my little brother just did.”

Professionally The oldest usually pursue vocations that require higher education. The Senior management position is likely a firstborn. Firstborns are more likely to earn more annually compared to their siblings.

Famous First-Born George W. Bush Bill Cosby Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton Oprah Winfrey Sylvester Stallone Bruce Willis J.K. Rowling

In the Middle If you’re a “middle child,” you might feel like you were born too late to get the special first-born treatment. Parent’s are proud but usually don’t pack the WOW! factor on the second child like the first. You are sharing your parents’ attention, while the first-born didn’t have to share.

You also feel like you were born too early to get the attention that the “baby” of the family gets. Look on the bright side, middle children usually have it easier than the oldest or the youngest siblings—your parents aren’t super-nervous about parenting, they are more easy-going and less demanding. As a result you end up with a more relaxed attitude towards life.

Middle Child May work extra-hard to get recognition. Is somewhat average in schoolwork, but is an all-around good student. Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult.

Middle Child’s Personality Roll with the punches The Great Negotiator—or the Peacemaker Diplomatic Lots of Loyal Friends which may be closer than family members.

Professionally Since they have excellent negotiating and people skills they are often in nursing, law enforcement, firefighting and machine operation Often satisfied with their current positions.

Famous Folks in the Middle Jay Leno Donald Trump Susan B. Anthony Barbara Walters Madonna Princess Diana David Letterman

Familiar Feelings of Middle Children: I’m tired of being left out of things. Nobody understands me! Nobody ever listens to me! I’m always in the shadow of my older sister/brother. My youngest brother/sister gets away with everything.

Youngest Child Okay, your parent have already had one or two children….by the time you take your first steps, they may not even get out he video camera! Youngest children often crave the spotlight because of this. They work hard to be the center of attention. They love to make people laugh and many actors and comedians are the youngest children in their families.

Youngest Child Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot of bossing. May be spoiled. Usually matures quickly. May be undisciplined and irresponsible. Is easy-going about school. Likes to associate with someone who takes charge of situations.

Charming and creative Persistent—they won’t give up! A great storyteller, some true and some false. Affectionate—they have lots of hugs and kisses to give out.

On the downside--- Although it’s fun to be in the spotlight, many youngest children find that their parents don’t give them a lot of attention and praise during important first-time events like tying a shoe or riding a bike.

Professionally Least likely to earn six figures. Often gravitate toward artistic and outdoor jobs. Also successful in journalism, advertising, sales and athletics. Or art, design, sales and information technology. They are the lest satisfied in their current jobs.

Familiar Feelings: I have to work hard to get other people to pay attention to me! Nobody takes me seriously. Everyone treats me like I’m younger than I am.

Famous Youngests: Drew Carey Jim Carey Billy Crystal Eddie Murphy Rosie O’Donnell Whoopi Goldberg Cameron Diaz

I am the Only Child Imagine if you grew up never having to share the bathroom, your toys, or the TV? Do you think this would affect your personality and relationships?

“Only children” spend a lot of time with grown-ups, so they can often be confident and well-spoken. Sometimes people even think of them as “little adults”! Very similar to firstborn in thei way they are motivated and conform to parental expectations.

Personality Traits: Confident—not afraid to make decisions and opinions. Pays attention to Detail—organized and on time. Good in school Perfectionists It’s MINE! Have difficulty sharing or going second because they have always been first in line for everything. Overly Critical—perfectionists about themselves and others. Tons of pressure to succeed.

Only Children’s Feelings: I didn’t do as well as I should have. Sometimes I feel lonely. I would be much happier with a brother or sister. I’m not getting enough attention.

Famous “Onlies” Robert Deniro Tommy Lee Jones Robin Williams Natalie Portman Charlize Theron Sarah Michelle Gellar Tiger Woods

Sibling Rivalry

Next to the parent-child relationship, the sibling relationship is probably the strongest, and is the longest!! They have deep sharing of emotions. Teaching and socializing is often the role of an older brother or sister. The older sibling is not only a teacher, but caretaker and companion.

OTHER SIBLING ROLES Playmates and Companions Protectors and dependents Adversaries--Members of a “coalition”/”alliance" for dealing with parents  Role Models Support System

Sibling rivalry typically develops as siblings compete for their parents' love and respect. Signs of sibling rivalry might include hitting, name-calling, bickering and immature behavior. Moderate levels of sibling rivalry are a healthy sign that each child is able to express his or her needs or wants.

Reasons Behind The Rivalry Age, sex and personality Size of your family, blended family? Or child’s birth order Younger children typically copy and try to excel in areas in which older children have previously succeeded. One or both parents sometimes single out one child as the “best” and another as the “black sheep.”

As they get older, the way they interact is likely to change As they get older, the way they interact is likely to change. While younger children tend to fight physically, older children are more likely to have verbal arguments. Competitiveness between siblings typically peaks between ages 10 and 15. However, sometimes can continue into adulthood.

Question: What are some typical things brothers and sisters have problems with or argue about?

Dealing with Rivalry Avoid comparisons Set the ground rules. Make sure your children understand what you consider acceptable and unacceptable behavior Don't get involved in battles Anticipate problems Listen to your children Encourage good behavior teamwork Show your love. Spend time alone with each of your children.

Remember, all siblings fight or argue. Sibling rivalry is normal Remember, all siblings fight or argue. Sibling rivalry is normal. However, by treating your children as individuals, listening to them and giving them opportunities to resolve their own problems

The End

Family Placement Activity Students who are: The oldest child go to the NE corner of room. The youngest child go to the SE corner. The middle child go to the SW corner. The only child go to the NW corner. Each group is to list the advantages and disadvantages of their birth order. Each group will present their findings.