Dating na may dating A Biblical and Practical Study On dynamic dating Rolan & Weng Monje

Some questions for tonight What is the purpose of Christian dating? What is the purpose of Christian dating? What is the heart behind dating? What is the heart behind dating? How can dating glorify God? How can dating glorify God? What is the heart behind dating guidelines? What is the heart behind dating guidelines?

Fact: Dating and courtship are largely cultural in nature. If we search the Bible for direction, we find that many of the dating practices are Jewish.

Courtship ala-Jews? Can you imagine implementing some of the ancient Jewish dating practices? Gen 24 – pre-arranged marriage (w/o courtship) Gen 24 – pre-arranged marriage (w/o courtship)

Jewish dating pratice? Ruth 3 – women can initiate/propose marriage Ruth 3 – women can initiate/propose marriage

Judges 31 – men just pick-up (literally) their wives to-be from a bonfire party Judges 31 – men just pick-up (literally) their wives to-be from a bonfire party

Principle over practice Fortunately, while dating is mainly cultural, the Bible is cross-cultural. So, when it comes to dating, the Bible suggests principles, not practices.

Biblical Principles that can apply to dating Giving God the glory in everything Giving God the glory in everything 1Co 10:31-33 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble… Gal 5:13 You… were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.

Being patient & trusting God Being patient & trusting God Ps 37:4-6 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart… Pr 3:5-7 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding… SS 2:7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you… Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Staying pure, honoring God with your body Staying pure, honoring God with your body 1Co 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. … You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. Tit The grace of God…teaches us to say No to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self- controlled, upright, and godly lives…

MOTIVATION Remember our motivation: Main reason = encouragement (Ro 1:12, 15:5; 1 Th 5:11; Heb 10:25). In time, going on dates may lead to looking for a partner for life. Main reason = encouragement (Ro 1:12, 15:5; 1 Th 5:11; Heb 10:25). In time, going on dates may lead to looking for a partner for life. Done with a spiritual mindset (See 2 Cor 5:16) Done with a spiritual mindset (See 2 Cor 5:16) Dating is only one of many ways to encourage someone of the opposite sex (See Heb 3:13) Dating is only one of many ways to encourage someone of the opposite sex (See Heb 3:13)

CAUTION Rom a NLT And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrificethe kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? Dont copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do..

How dating ends Successful steady dating ends up in two ways: 1. MARRIAGE 2. BREAK-UP

How dating ends 1. MARRIAGE 2. BREAK-UP Both are successful because you dont end up marrying someone not for you, or marrying when youre not ready! Anyway, you are brother and sister before you are boyfriend and girlfriend.

The Heart of Guidelines Guidelines are natural, normal, and needed Guidelines are natural, normal, and needed Families Families Organizations Organizations Institutions Institutions Businesses Businesses OT, God imposed certain practices on Israel to train them OT, God imposed certain practices on Israel to train them NT, advice was given by leaders concerning various issues. These directions were not meant to be legalistic rules but reasonable guidelines to protect the church and to help others. These examples guided the heart and prevented stumbling. (e.g. Acts 15:6, 22-29; 1 Cor 7:12-14; 1 Cor 16:1-2) NT, advice was given by leaders concerning various issues. These directions were not meant to be legalistic rules but reasonable guidelines to protect the church and to help others. These examples guided the heart and prevented stumbling. (e.g. Acts 15:6, 22-29; 1 Cor 7:12-14; 1 Cor 16:1-2)

Guidelines… Meant to protect our souls from crossing the boundaries of sin Meant to protect our souls from crossing the boundaries of sin Ensure that disciples are different from the world, since we are called by God to have different patterns than the world. Ensure that disciples are different from the world, since we are called by God to have different patterns than the world. Working tools, which did much good for the purity of our members. Some basic guidelines that we believe we still need: Working tools, which did much good for the purity of our members. Some basic guidelines that we believe we still need:

Basic guidelines (from FOF booklet) For singles to date only Christians in the pursuit of holiness (2 Cor 6:14-7:1; 1 Co 7:39, see articles on at the church website). For singles to date only Christians in the pursuit of holiness (2 Cor 6:14-7:1; 1 Co 7:39, see articles on at the church website). To have at least a double date To have at least a double date For those going on dates to be home by 12 midnight (This is for purity as well as personal safety.) For those going on dates to be home by 12 midnight (This is for purity as well as personal safety.)

Practicals: Beginning dating Pray and work on your guidelines Pray and work on your guidelines Create a circle of couples, including married couples which will help you grow Create a circle of couples, including married couples which will help you grow Evaluate your guidelines after some time Evaluate your guidelines after some time Enjoy your romantic friendship! Enjoy your romantic friendship!

Practicals: Distance dating Count the cost before you proceed Count the cost before you proceed Decide on how you will be connected with your partner Decide on how you will be connected with your partner Get close to those around your partner Get close to those around your partner Grow in a number of friendships Grow in a number of friendships

Practicals: International dating Count the cost before you proceed Count the cost before you proceed Keep your relationship from being isolated Keep your relationship from being isolated Have a main couple to help you with bridging the gaps; be completely open with this couple Have a main couple to help you with bridging the gaps; be completely open with this couple Be humble to accept that there is much to learn, especially in cultural adjustments Be humble to accept that there is much to learn, especially in cultural adjustments

Closing Challenges Be extra spiritual and grateful Be extra spiritual and grateful Strive to grow personally, and in the area of encouragement Strive to grow personally, and in the area of encouragement Spiritual books Spiritual books Bring out the best in your partner! Bring out the best in your partner! Seek to glorify God in everything you do Seek to glorify God in everything you do

Conclusion God loves it when we delight in His blessings God loves it when we delight in His blessings Enjoy your Christian life Enjoy your Christian life