Cohabitation and Marriage Chapter 7 Cohabitation and Marriage

Cohabitation Living together in a sexual relationship without being married

Cohabitation From 523,000 to nearly 3 million Between 1970 and 1990 Number of couples living together outside of marriage quadrupled From 523,000 to nearly 3 million

Cohabitation Reasons: Law does not allow them to marry Belief that marriage is unnecessary

Reasons Given for Cohabitation Economics Share expenses More time together

Reasons for Cohabitation Increased intimacy Less complicated dissolution No messy divorce

Reasons for Cohabitation Testing compatibility Trial marriage

Cohabitation Increasing Among Older Individuals Financial benefits Avoid loss of alimony, welfare, or pension benefits Loss of a spouse Fear of losing another spouse

Marriage: Historically Medieval Europe: Bride came with a dowry Given to groom's family

Medieval Society Dowry: Simple items Important items Household linens Land

Bride-price Groom's family compensated bride's family For loss of bride's work Bride's family gave up rights to Her labor Her children

Courting: 1700s & 1800s Meet rational needs: “Marrying off” daughters early Support agricultural economy Belief that love came after marriage Couples knew each other through informal, structured social relations e.g., Church

Courtship Courtship – Publicly visible process with rules & restrictions Carefully established social norms Public meeting places Group setting Night visiting, family present No privacy until engagement Norm until mid-1800s

Courting on Bicycles http://vimeo.com/8745650

Courting:1700s & 1800s 1830s to 1880s:Victorian era “Going calling” Family’s (father’s) permission to court young woman “Stepping out” Chaperoned Engagement With father’s permission

Aristocratic families Courting:1700s & 1800s Matched according to: Economic status Education Family background Status and prestige Aristocratic families Arranged marriages

Courtship’s Demise after 1900 Migration from rural areas Higher standard of living Adolescence, new stage of life General mobility increased Range of choices increased

Late 19th to Early 20th Century: Courtship to Dating

Late 19th to Early 20th Century: from Courtship to Dating Co-ed high schools Working class women living alone WWI (1914-1919):Middle class women work in offices Women’s freedom Affluence and leisure

Dating 1940s to early 1960s 1950s Dating Stages: Associate on playground Flirting Talking

1950s Dating Stages Double-dating Single dating “Going steady”

1950s Dating Stages College pinning College & post-high school engagement 19-24 age at marriage Early marriage; strong economy

Dating from 1940s to early 1960s Steady dating: Important pattern post-WWII In-between casual dating & engagement “Transition period” to marriage

Less connected to marriage Dating—1960s & 1970s Less connected to marriage Trend toward independent living Average marriage age increased Rise in premarital intercourse Cohabitation became common

Dating at end of 20th Century Major changes: More informal sexual contacts More co-ed high schools & colleges Shared residence halls Shared apartments and houses Similar numbers of men & women in college

Contemporary Types of Intimate & Sexual Relationships “Getting together” Not marriage-oriented “Hooking Up” or “Joined at the Hip” Sex for fun Open relationships Friends with benefits Dating?

Forming a Union Union = Stable, intimate relationship between 2 people Live in same household May or may not be married

Institutional Marriage Emphasis on: Male authority Duty Conformity to social norms

Companionate Marriage Emphasis on: Affection Friendship Sexual gratification

From Companionship to Individualization Mid-1960s: Breadwinner-homemaker marriage declining As both a: Cultural ideal Reality

Toward Individualized Marriage Marital Satisfaction: Personal fulfillment Emotional satisfaction Obligations to others-lower priority

Current Context of Marriage Meaning of marriage today Personal growth & self-development Deeper intimacy More open communication

Why do people still marry? 90% eventually marry Marriage is public commitment

Marriage as the Capstone Experience Practical importance-> Declined Symbolic importance-> Increased

Union Formation: Today Common to marry later More time searching for mate Cohabitation acceptable Childbearing outside of marriage More acceptable

Dating: 21st Century Speed dating 8 dates (lasting 8 minutes) On-line dating sites Personal ads Virtual dating Create avatars in artificial world Hooking up

Is Marriage Good for You? Men & Women benefit: Women Monetary support Men Social support McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

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