How to Raise Children to Become Wise, Responsible, Godly Adults Training Your Child to Obey Dealing with Rebellion Training in Righteousness Aiming for the Heart

“Tools” for Training in Righteousness Spanking/Consequences Teaching/Instructing Rebuking/Correcting Developmental Activities Modeling by Personal Example

Modeling by Personal Example As human beings, it is our nature to imitate others. Unfortunately, because we are sinful and live in a fallen world, we are most often prone to imitate bad behavior: Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." (1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV) Which is why the scriptures warn us: Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good… (3 John 1:11a) Of course, the ultimate good example we are called to imitate is our heavenly Father: Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. (Ephesians 5:1)

Modeling by Personal Example The apostle Paul frequently urged those whom he discipled to imitate him (as he in turn imitated Christ): Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. (1 Cor. 11:1 see also: 1 Cor. 4:16; Phil. 3:17; 1Thes. 1:6; 2Thes. 3:7-9) And we are exhorted to follow other good examples: Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. (Heb. 13:7) We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. (Heb. 6:12 NIV)

Modeling by Personal Example For better or for worse, our children will tend to imitate us as parents starting from an early age and carrying on into adulthood. …children learn moral values mainly within their families, and mainly by relying on their parents as role models. When families are unstable, when parents are absent, emotionally distant, or preoccupied, or when parents themselves are immoral, the learning of moral values by children is greatly hindered. (David Popenoe, PhD; Professor of Sociology, Rutgers University)

Modeling by Personal Example Children pay more attention to what an adult does than to what an adult merely says. As psychologist Nancy Eisenberg reports, "socializers who preach...but do not model...may have little positive effect on children's prosocial development.”   For in order to determine what values children are learning as they grow up, we must look first at what adults are doing, not what they are saying; at the way things appear to children, not the way things appear to us. Most important of all, for children to learn values from their parents through modeling, the parents must have a regular, active and continuing presence in the lives of their children. Unfortunately, parents in modern times are increasingly absent from their children's lives during the growing-up years http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Popenoe/Popenoe-Modeling.html

Modeling by Personal Example As they look around today, what do children see? First, they see their parents breaking up. Over 50% of children today will spend some time living with just one parent by the time they reach age 18. Second, many will lose contact their fathers. Some 40% of children today are living apart from their natural fathers, and most of these children see their fathers seldom, if at all. With nearly a third of children now born out-of-wedlock, many will grow up without ever knowing their fathers. http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Popenoe/Popenoe-Modeling.html

Modeling by Personal Example As they look around today, what do children see? Third, children see both parents rushing off to work, leaving them in the care of someone else, a "childcare provider." 52% of children under five have mothers who are employed full or part-time. According to sociologist Arlie Hochschild a growing number of parents face a time bind--the more time they spend at work, the more hectic home becomes, and the more they want to escape back to work. Eventually, work becomes their home, and home becomes work. http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Popenoe/Popenoe-Modeling.html

Modeling by Personal Example As they look around today, what do children see? Fourth, as children venture outside the home they encounter a local residential environment that is often crime-ridden and unsafe. Fifth, children see a popular culture as produced by the organized entertainment industry and transmitted by the media that is overloaded with adult sexuality and violence, and dominated by materialistic values. This is what their absent parents are supposed to protect them from. http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Popenoe/Popenoe-Modeling.html