RELATIONSHIPS AND DATING COACH JACOBS

WHAT IS JIGSAWING? Jigsaw is a group structure that can be used across all content areas. Students start with a home group. That group is responsible for learning an assigned portion of a task that is prescribed by the teacher. Then the teacher separates students into new groups -- jigsaw groups -- by assigning one member from each home group to a new group. If an activity begins with groups A, B, C, and D, the jigsaw groups have a member from A, B, C, and D. In the jigsaw groups, students share information and complete some sort of project or product.

OTHER INFO! Answer the questions in a poster form. You will have three minutes to tell the other groups about your poster that your original group created about bullying.

JIGSAW JOBS .                                              

Each group is responsible for collecting the following information What is bullying? What are examples of bullying at BSHS? Why does bullying occur? How can bullying be stopped at BSHS?

DATING: BATTLE OF THE SEXES BELLRINGER Dating provides opportunities to develop social skills, such as communicating and interacting with a person of the opposite gender. List 5 characteristics you like about the opposite gender and 5 characteristics you do not like about the opposite gender. Explain each.

REASONS FOR DATING WAY TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. WANT TO DEVELOP FRIENDSHIPS. FIND COMPANIONSHIP AND SUPPORT. EXPLORE CHARACTERISTICS IN FUTURE SPOUSES.

BENEFITS OF DATING Discover what different types of people are like. Find out whom you relate to most easily. Learn how to resolve disagreements and communicate more effectively. Provides emotional support during puberty.

POSSIBLE PROBLEMS OF DATING Increase of peer pressure. Sexual activity. Drugs. Rape. STDs or HIV. Pregnancy.

DEVELOPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Treat people with respect. Require respect. Develop relationship slowly.

Healthy relationships develop gradually and can exist at many levels of closeness. Initial attraction. Friendship. Close friendship. Deep friendship. Lifelong love.

FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON LOOK FOR A FRIEND WHO IS Unselfish. Treats others well. Tolerant and respectful. Has similar morals and values. Fun to be with. Respects himself/herself.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Begin with individual awareness and conscious thought. Have 3 important aspects: Honesty. Direct communication. Negotiation.

AVOIDING THE WRONG PERSON If someone hurts you physical or emotionally, do not date that person. Do not respect your morals or values. Makes you feel bad about yourself. Jealous.

BEING THE RIGHT PERSON Be a good friend. Have integrity and character. Be kind of person you/others respect.

4 GUIDELINES FOR APPROPRIATE DATING BEHAVIOR DO’S: Find out common shared interests/activities. Focus on getting to know your date. Be respectful of your date’s wishes and independence. Observe the rules your parents and your date’s parents set for dating.

GUIDELINES (cont.) DON’TS Always insist on being the one to decide what to do. Don’t focus only looking-good or popular dates. Be manipulative or arrogant. Cause difficulty by going against parents’ wishes.

DATING IN GROUPS Teens attend movies, dances, parties, and sporting events as a group. Good because it allows you to get to know someone without the pressure of being alone. Reduces the risk of participating in risk behaviors.

ACTING APPROPRIATELY Treat other person way you would want to be treated. Be prompt. Be courteous and polite. Think of activities you both enjoy. Don’t break a date especially if something better comes along to do. Let your date know you had a good time.

FOLLOWING THE RULES Know the rules and guidelines both sets of parents have established!

ENDING RELATIONSHIPS Most dating relationships during adolescence end. Rejected person may feel angry and hurt. Focus on how to be happy again. Be patient while healing. Stay in touch with your friends. Speak with a counselor or trusted adult.

COMMUNICATION STYLES PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE

PASSIVE Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts and feelings. Do not stand up for oneself.

AGGRESSIVE Often try to get their way through bullying and intimidation. Do not consider the rights of others. In disagreements, they attack the other person, not the problem.

ASSERTIVE Involves expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and directly but without hurting others. Stand up for themselves. Respect the rights of others. Attack the problem, not the person. Uses “I” messages, not “U” messages.

ACTIVE LISTENING Paying close attention to what someone is saying and communicating to you. Techniques for Active Listening: Reflective Listening Clarifying Encouraging Empathizing

EMPATHY Able to understand and imagine how someone else feels.

TIPS FOR ACTIVE LISTENING Make direct eye contact. Use body language. Use signals such as nodding to show interest. Don’t interrupt the speaker. Put away prejudices, images, or assumptions.

3 COMPONENTS OF RELATIONSHIPS INTIMACY PASSION COMMITMENT

INTIMACY FEELINGS OF CLOSENESS AND UNDERSTANDING. GROWS STEADILY AT FIRST THEN TAPERS OFF. EXPERIENCED WITH FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND LOVERS.

PASSION Drives that lead to romance, physical attraction and sexual interaction. Develops rapidly in relationships, then levels off. Involves high degree of physical arousal and an intense desire to be with loved one.

COMMITMENT One cares for another and wishes to maintain the relationship. Increases gradually at first and then grows more rapidly as the relationship develops. Key factor in marriage.

FACTS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS Never stay the same. Healthy relationships require effort and investment of time. One person cannot maintain a relationship alone. Require mutual concern and effort.

8 TYPES OF LOVE Nonlove Friendship Infatuation Empty love Romantic love Fantasy love Companion love Complete love

NONLOVE Absence of all 3 components of love (Intimacy, Passion, Commitment). Acquaintances.

FRIENDSHIP Contains intimacy. Usually the first type of love in a relationship. Can develop passion and/or commitment.

INFATUATION Involves passion without intimacy and commitment. “Love at first sight”. Preoccupation with the other person, emotional ups and downs and an intense desire to be with the other person.

EMPTY LOVE Commitment without intimacy or passion. Seen in a stagnant marriage or in a long-term relationship. In our culture viewed as final stage in a relationship. Other cultures, viewed as the beginning of a relationship (commitment).

ROMANTIC LOVE Includes intimacy as well as passion. Experienced during adolescence or early adulthood. Includes closeness and physical arousal without commitment.

FANTASY LOVE Involves passion and commitment without intimacy. Portrayed on TV and in movies. Partners meet, intense romance results; 3 weeks later married. Unlikely to last without stabilizing effect of intimacy.

COMPANION LOVE Contains intimacy and commitment. Basically a long-term friendship. Often seen between people who have been friends for a long time.

COMPLETE LOVE Exists when all 3 components are present (intimacy, passion, commitment). Difficult to achieve. Once achieved, much effort required to sustain.

STEADY READY List all the advantages and disadvantages you can think of in having a steady boyfriend/girlfriend. Justify your answer. ADVANTAGES: DISADVANTAGES:

BATTLE OF THE SEXES Girls sit on one half of the room while boys sit on the other half. Girls will have 5 minutes to discuss what you like and dislike about the boys. The boys may not speak, comment, or interfere with the girls’ discussion in any way. You must sit quietly and wait for your turn. The boys will have the same amount of time and the girls must remain quiet. Explain the role of good communication in relationships.

IDEAL DREAM DATE Your assignment is to create an “ideal dream date”. The Dating Bill of Rights apply. Imagine that money is not a problem. Use the previous handouts to help you.

THE END A relationship that is not growing is dying. REFERENCE: GLENCOE HEALTH THE END A relationship that is not growing is dying.