T EEN D ATING V IOLENCE Samantha Benton Education Coordinator Bridges: Domestic & Sexual Violence Support

T EEN D ATING V IOLENCE February is teen dating violence awareness month 1 in 3 teenagers experience some form of dating abuse You may have heard teen dating violence called: Relationship Abuse/Violence Intimate Partner Violence Dating Abuse Domestic Abuse Domestic Violence

W HAT IS D ATING V IOLENCE ? A pattern of abusive or controlling behavior(s) in a dating relationship. Partners are not equal in the relationship It is about power and control Types of Abuse: Emotional Peer pressure, isolation/exclusion Verbal Threats/intimidation, blaming Physical Sexual

H OW C AN Y OU T ELL I F A R ELATIONSHIP M IGHT B ECOME A BUSIVE ? Warning Signs or Red Flags Checking your cell phone, , or social media sites without permission Putting you down Extreme jealousy or insecurity Explosive temper and/or mood swings Isolating you from family or friends Telling you what to do or who you can be friends with Making false accusations Physically hurting you in any way** Possessiveness Controlling your appearance Pressuring for sexual activity

W HAT I S L OVE ? Understanding Honest Open communication Safe Respectful Trusting and supportive Negotiation and fairness Equal power Accountability

T RUE OR F ALSE ? Abuse in relationships happen to both men and women.

T RUE Abuse happens at a higher rate to women but it does happen to men.

C YCLE OF V IOLENCE Tension Building Explosion Honeymoon Walking on egg shells Partner may feel like they cant do anything right Can sense something might happen Episode of Violence Apologies Promises for the future Gift giving is common Abuser might place blame on someone or something else

H OW C AN W E H ELP ? 24-Hour Support One-on-one support In-person or over-the-phone Answer your questions Assist in filing restraining orders Provide support at court, at police departments, or at the hospital Confidential and free services Connect you to other community resources

W HY D ON T Y OU J UST B REAK U P ? Love Hope Fear Believes the abuse is normal Shame and embarrassment Guilt Low self-esteem Social/peer pressure Distrust of adults or authority Dont know where to get help Reliance on the partner

T RUE OR F ALSE ? Most teens who were in a violent relationship told someone about it.

F ALSE Only 33% of teens told someone that they were in a violent relationship.

R IHANNA AND C HRIS B ROWN Even if its a mistake, its my mistake, Rihanna reported to Rolling Stones magazine.

H OW T O H ELP A F RIEND ? Helpful: Listen Believe them Be supportive and non-judgmental Acknowledge you are concerned Talk about safety Encourage victims to get help Hold abusive partners accountable Not Helpful: Gossip about their business Give them ultimatums

C AN A BUSIVE P ARTNERS C HANGE ? Change is possible but someone has to want to make changes It is a long process It is not about their anger It takes dedication It takes professional help to change Programs found a low success rate in changing partners behaviors

B RIDGES C ONTACT INFORMATION Nashua Office: 33 East Pearl Street Nashua, NH M-F 8:30-4:30 (Closed Wednesday 1:00- 3:00) Milford Office: 16 Elm Street, Suite 2 Milford, NH M-F 8:30-4:30 (Closed Wednesday 12:00- 4:30) 24-Hour Support Line

A S AFE P LACE C ONTACT I NFORMATION 24-Hour Support Line Offices located in Portsmouth, Rochester, & Salem

Come by the Bridges table during lunch to talk and/or ask questions. If you answer a trivia question you can win a free prize!