Relationships

Good Things About Teen Dating While teen dating is crucial because it can make or break a teenager’s life when there’s no proper guidance, it is also a great experience for every teenage girl and teenage boy. Dating is fun for as long as you don’t cross the line. The benefits are more of the social aspect. What are the benefits teenagers can get from teen dating? We have the following list of good things about teen dating.

Good Things About Teen Dating Self-worth. While a bad relationship can lead to the development of low self-esteem, a good one can boost self-confidence. The opposite sex can make you feel you are valued and that you are special.

Good Things About Teen Dating 2. Socialization. Your socialization skills are honed when you go out and date or spend time with someone special. You might be in the challenging position of meeting your partner’s parents for the first time, or trying to get along with their friends that don’t know you.

Good Things About Teen Dating 3. Better communication. Dating also teaches you to communicate with people better. It can help overcome shyness and become more skillful in interacting with the people around them. In this class we will spend a lot of time discussing communication skills about intimacy, which is a very mature “life skill” to acquire.

Good Things About Teen Dating 4. Realization of preferences. Teens meet different kinds of people with varied personalities and this helps them decide which qualities they prefer when looking for a partner. When they experience that certain qualities are bad for a relationship, then they will learn their lesson and they will have a better relationship the next time they fall in love again.

Good Things About Teen Dating 5. Character improvement. They realize their strengths and weaknesses as teens and as partners. When they realize them early there will be a bigger room for improvement. The pain they experience will teach them lessons.

Good Things About Teen Dating 6. Breaking up. You might think that breaking up is a bad thing, and it can be really challenging for both people to go through. However it is great for you to both realize that while most relationships don’t work out in the long run, they are worthwhile experiences that help you become a better partner for when that time comes that you might meet the person who is right for you.

Qualities in a partner Which qualities are the most important one’s to find in a partner? Do guys and girls agree on what qualities are the best? Divide the class in half and work together for a few minutes until each group can agree on a top ten list. Then each group will share the list and compare the results.

Differences between Men and Women

Healthy or Unhealthy? (use handout) Accepting that your partner isn’t perfect   Feeling you have to justify yourself all the time Spending time away from each other – for example - seeing friends and family Resolving arguments by talking, even when you feel really angry One person taking charge and making all the decisions Feeling ‘trapped’, but unable to end the relationship Telling lies about where you have been or who you have been with Having sex when you don’t really want to Thinking your partner has ‘gone off’ you if they want to spend time alone Not seeing your best friend as much because your partner doesn’t like them Pretending to have done more interesting things than you really have Respecting and caring for yourself before and during a relationship Seeing someone else at the same time as your partner Respecting sexual boundaries and the right to say ‘no’ Apologising for your partner all the time to your friends Only wanting to have sex if you have drunk alcohol Listening to your partner’s feelings, hopes and dreams Trusting that your partner won’t talk about you behind your back Feeling scared to ask your partner to use a condom Maintaining the same friendships you had before you started seeing your partner Feeling not as ‘good’ as your partner Shouting, shoving or hitting out during arguments Sending texts all the time as you can’t bear to be apart Giving each other compliments and meaning it Getting upset if your partner doesn’t do as you tell them Feeling jealous if your partner talks to someone else Needing to know where your partner is all the time Constantly needing your partner to tell you they love you

Relationships There may be good points with teen dating but let’s not forget the dangers that go with it. Proper guidance is needed to prevent the teens from suffering bad and traumatic experiences. Teens need to understand that they have to be responsible.

Emotional Abuse Survey take the survey here...

Watch this video http://sexetc.org/videos/know-the-signs/

“A Wake-Up Call” http://sexetc.org/videos/a-wake-up-call-2/ Watch the video one time. Then assign each group a different character to focus on: Thomas (abusive boyfriend) Rebecca (abused girlfriend) Charlie (supportive friend) Jennifer (supportive friend) http://pub.etr.org/upfiles/RelationshipCheckActivitySheets.pdf

Answer in your group… Watch video again and answer these questions: What is this character feeling during these events? What does this character do that either contributes to the violence or helps reduce it? What do you think is going to happen to this character after the story ends? What will the next day be like? The next week? The next month? Imagine this character is in a similar situation again in the future. Will he or she act differently?

Sexual Abuse People don’t usually talk about sexual abuse, but it is very common. Sexual abuse is a term used to talk about unwanted sexual situations. Understanding sexual abuse may help you identify if it has ever happened to you, avoid abusive situations whenever possible, and seek help. Sexual abuse happens when one person forces another to engage in any sexual behavior. Sometimes abusers use physical force, but other times they may use threats, bribes, psychological games, or any power or influence they may have. Sexual abuse can involve touch such as kissing; an abuser touching a person’s body in a sexual way; a person being made to touch an abuser’s body in a sexual way; a person being made to touch their own body in a sexual way; or a person being made to engage in oral, vaginal, or anal sex. Sexual abuse involving touch is sometimes considered sexual assault. When assault involves penetration of the vagina or anus it is defined as rape. Both men and women can be abused, assaulted, or raped.

Sexual Abuse Sexual abuse can also happen without touch such as being shown pornographic movies, magazines, or websites; taking photos, videos, or other recordings; or watching sexual acts. Everyone who has been abused, assaulted, or raped needs to know that it is not their fault.

What to do…? If you are sexually assaulted, Don’t be afraid to ask for help or support. Help is available. Go directly to the police, or you can call these organizations: National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TDD) National Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-HOPE (4673)

Date Rape When sexual assault or rape occurs between people who know each other socially it is sometimes called date rape or acquaintance rape. Date rape often happens in social situations like at a party or after a date. It can happen between two people who have just met or couples who have been together for awhile. The most important thing to remember is that no one has the right to have sex with another person without his/her express permission. You have a right to say no to anyone at any point— even if you have had sex with them before or are in the middle of sexual activity — and to expect that your partner will listen.

Sexual Abuse Not all date rape situations can be avoided, but there are some things you can do to minimize your risk. Use common sense— avoid situations that seem like they might be dangerous. Avoid situations where you are alone with anyone you don’t know very well. Always tell someone where you are and when you will return. Use a buddy system, have friends check up on each other at parties or other social gatherings. Learn self-defense techniques. Avoid drugs and alcohol which can cloud your judgment. Trust yourself — if a situation feels unsafe, get out.

Alcohol and Sex Connection 82% of all college students say that alcohol was involved in some way during their first sexual experience.

Alcohol and Sex: A deadly combination

Alcohol & Sexual Assault More than 75% of acquaintance rapes involve alcohol use by the victim or perpetrator. Watch out for friends and vice versa- leave bars or parties together. If a friend is acting out of character or appears intoxicated, help him/her. Don’t drink from punch bowls or large open containers. Pour your own drinks, don’t accept drinks from others. Trust your instincts- if you do not feel safe, get help. If someone is under the influence of Alcohol, they can not consent to sex. Sexual assault is a crime of motive & opportunity. Ultimately there is no surefire way to prevent an attack. If you think you have been assaulted, there are services to help you at SJU.

Understanding Sexual Victimization Sexual assault is a traumatic experience for anyone. It can happen anywhere & to anyone. Sexual assault is a crime of violence. It is never about love or affection- it is about power & control. Victims of sexual assault may feel violated and powerless.

Risk Reduction

Response to Sexual Assault Sexual assault is a crime of motive & opportunity. Ultimately there is no surefire way to prevent an attack and it is never the victim’s fault. Find someone you know & trust to support you. You need to be in control of the response. Get medical assistance Decide whether or not to report the assault to police and to SJU (they are there to help.) Counseling & Support at SJU

Consent Consent is not present if: A person says NO (in any way) & at any point. A person is unable to give consent to sexual contact because of disability, age, or the influence of drugs, alcohol or medication; asleep or unconscious. Just because consensual sex may have occurred once, does not mean that sexual assault can not occur in the future

Date Rape Drugs

Educate yourself on date-rape drugs Never leave a drink unattended Never accept a drink from a stranger Never accept a drink in an open container Avoid taking drinks from a punch bowl Avoid drinks with an unusual taste or appearance