Writing a ONE-Chunk Paragraph “If I can think it, then I can say it. If I can say it, then I can write it!” —J. Schaffer Jane Schaffer Writing a ONE-Chunk Paragraph

The Hamburger Color Coding for Prewriting and Rough Drafts Topic Sentence – TS (BLUE) Concrete Detail – CD (RED) Commentary – CM (GREEN) Concluding Sentence – CS (BLUE) A ONE-Chunk paragraph is FIVE sentences, ONLY!

The “Chunk” CD CM A “chunk” consists of 1 concrete detail sentence and 2 commentary sentences

Topic Sentence 1st sentence in body ¶ The SUBJECT of your ¶ Tells what whole ¶ is about (the MAIN IDEA) Your OPINION includes COMMENTARY words states your claim – what you are going to prove

Example: Topic Sentence NOTE: When writing only one paragraph the TS must include the title and the author of the story. title & author: In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, main idea: the stepmother is cruel. In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel.

Concrete Detail Follows TS in a One-Chunk ¶ The “STUFF from the STORY” The evidence/proof that supports claim in the TS A CD is so SPECIFIC that you can point to it on a page. Always write down (cite) the page from which it came. You cannot disagree with a CD. It either happened or it didn’t. PARAPHRASE what happens in the story (put in your own words) OR use a direct QUOTATION Always write the CD sentence in T,L,CD (#). Format (4 parts to the sentence)

T,L,CD (author’s last name #). Format Concrete Detail (cont.) T = transition (i.e. For example, In addition, Secondly, Lastly,). Begins your CD sentence; followed by a comma For example, L = lead-in phrase (begins with a word like after, when, since, although). Gives your reader background details/information from the story; the lead-in phrase “sets-up” your evidence (CD);it’s “EXTRA”; GIVES YOUR READER CONTEXT; followed by a comma when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, CD = Concrete Detail (the specific thing that happened in the story that supports/proves your claim in the TS) THE QUOTE “the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on” Citation = (author’s last name #). (must use MLA format); the number of the page(s) on which the CD occurs. The NUMBER ONLY inside parenthesis FOLLOWED by a PERIOD. (Perrault 6).

Example: CD Sentence in T,L,CD Format Transition: For example, Lead-in Phrase: when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, Concrete Detail: “the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on” Citation: (Perrault 6). For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, “the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on” (Perrault 6). DO NOT write a FRAGMENT: For example, when “the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on”(Perrault 6).

Commentary The “STUFF from YOUR HEAD” CM = Analysis, Opinion, Insight, Interpretation A person can agree or disagree with it and not be wrong. DIG DEEPER for INSIGHTFUL commentary Gives original thought about the quote. Tells the reader something they may not have already figured out. (Commentary does NOT state the obvious!) MUST include CM WORDS = words with feeling attached to them (person vs. hero, quiet vs. lonely)

Helpful Tips for Writing Insightful Commentary Begin CM sentences in prewriting and rough drafts with the following phrases: This shows that…. This also shows that… This is important because… This reveals that…. This implies…. Remember: These phrases MUST be REMOVED from FINAL DRAFT! Use STRONG verbs! (i.e. does not like vs. resents) Avoid “No-No” words & “Dead Words” (see References for Writing handout) CM sentences do NOT give advice

Common CM Mistakes Commentary is generic (i.e. He is mean. vs. He is angry to be in this situation.) Commentary strays from TS/CD – doesn’t relate to main idea (apples in a cherry tree) Commentary is really CD (i.e. Chewy is 7 feet tall.) CM repeats (ie. They are in danger. followed by They are not safe. vs. Chewy protects Princess Leia. He feels responsible for her.) CM contradicts the TS (i.e. TS: Chewy is scary. CM: Leia never thought he would hurt her.)

Example: Commentary Sentences CM (1): This shows that she is jealous of Cinderella. CM (2):This also shows that the stepmother resents Cinderella. FIRST DRAFT OF CM sentences: She is jealous of Cinderella. The stepmother resents Cinderella. (Just ok– need to DIG DEEPER!) SECOND DRAFT of CM sentences: She is jealous of Cinderella’s beauty. The stepmother resents Cinderella and does not care about what is important to her. (MORE INSIGHTFUL and includes more CM words)

Concluding Sentence Last sentence in a body ¶ Sums up your main idea, but must NOT repeat key words All Commentary (MUST include CM words) from YOUR HEAD Gives a finished feeling/closure to ¶

Example: Concluding Sentence The stepmother is determined to keep Cinderella from experiencing any happiness.

Example of a One-Chunk Paragraph ROUGH DRAFT (#1) – COLOR CODED Student’s Name Mrs. W. Nugent English I, Period 7 20 November 2015 The Resentful Stepmother In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel. For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper, “the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on” (Perrault 6). This shows that she is jealous of Cinderella. This is important because the stepmother resents Cinderella. As a result, she is determined to keep Cinderella from experiencing any happiness. NOTE: This is what might be equivalent to a B-

Example of a One-Chunk Paragraph ROUGH DRAFT (#2) – COLOR-CODED Student’s Name Mrs. W. Nugent English I, Period 7 20 November 2015 The Heartless Stepmother In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel. For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper found at the ball, “the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on” (Perrault 6). This shows that She is jealous of Cinderella’s beauty. This is important because The stepmother resents Cinderella and does not care about what is important to her. As a result, She is determined to keep Cinderella from experiencing any happiness in her life. NOTE: This is what might be equivalent to an A- or B

Student’s Name Mrs. W. Nugent English I, Period 7 20 November 2015 FINAL DRAFT – BLACK INK Student’s Name Mrs. W. Nugent English I, Period 7 20 November 2015 The Heartless Stepmother In “Cinderella,” by Charles Perrault, the stepmother is cruel. For example, when the Prince sends his men to find the lady whose foot fits the glass slipper found at the ball, “the stepmother locks Cinderella in her room and does not let her try it on” (Perrault 6). She is jealous of Cinderella’s beauty. The stepmother resents Cinderella; therefore, she is not concerned with what is important to her. She is determined to keep Cinderella from experiencing any happiness in her life. NOTE: This is what might be equivalent to an A or A-