A guide for parents and students Building Resilience A guide for parents and students

What does Resilience have to do with school? Lately, you’ve probably seen articles or heard stories about this topic. There has been a rapid rise in research that indicates that students of all ages are less able to manage the everyday bumps in the road of life. They lack the requisite level of resilience to succeed on their own because they have been protected from safe levels of failure, disappointment or setbacks.

Resilience: more than just a buzzword SO, WHAT IS IT? A person’s ability to bounce back after a particularly difficult time The ability to handle adverse situations with persistence and hope The psychological strength to deal with stress and calamity The ability to recover quickly from misfortune A necessary skill for coping with life’s inevitable obstacles and one of the key ingredients to success Having the strength and fortitude to face overwhelming obstacles in life A learned skill

10 Steps to increasing resilience in students Build strong, positive relationships with friends and loved ones that can provide support. It’s important to have people to confide in. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help! 2. Students need to establish important connections with people by giving back of yourself to those in need. Nothing can make a person feel better than helping others who also have struggles in their lives.

3. Students should do something meaningful every day 3. Students should do something meaningful every day. Set realistic and attainable goals that help them look toward the future. They need to ask themselves, “What is the one thing I can do today to move me in the direction I want to go?’ 4. Students need to keep things in perspective. Understand that all problems have solutions. Not be afraid to think outside the box for answers. We are only held back by our unwillingness to exhaust every possible solution to any problem we might have.

5. Students need to take good care of themselves by getting quality and consistent amounts of sleep, nutritious food and exercise can have a major impact on how you handle stress. Using stress-relieving activities (relaxation techniques, Yoga, etc.) even in stress-free times will be helpful. 6. Confidence can play a big role in helping students find answers to problems in difficult times and confidence comes from success. In times of stress, students need to recall times when they have been challenged and have successfully found answers to their problems.

7. Students need to embrace change 7. Students need to embrace change. Learning to be flexible and to adapt will enable them to become more equipped to handle crisis. Look at these situations as an opportunity to grow and learn about yourself. 8. Students need to be optimistic. Recognize that setbacks are transient and that changes can be made if you believe you have the ability to make them. Hope while remaining posiitve helps you stay the course.

9. Students need to take steps to solve their problems as soon as possible. They might not be able to remedy a difficult situation immediately but taking steps towards a solution may make the situation less stressful. Once this happens focus on what you have accomplished rather than the work that is left to be done. 10. Students need to learn to give themselves a break. Perfection is an unrealistic goal. Create a plan, act independently when you must, be decisive and believe in yourself. Setbacks are a part of life. When it is all said and done resilient people are those who have learned to fall and get back on their feet.

What can Parents do to provide support and assistance? Hold your child to high standards .. but let him set his own standards too. 2. Don’t shield him from life: let them make safe mistakes so they can learn from them. 3. Make sure he does his own work - help him become self-sufficient by practicing working independently so he knows how to do it. 4. Take a step back when helping him with projects or assignments. If you do too much, he won’t learn how to do it himself. 5. Don’t look to blame others for their struggles but help your children to maintain focus on what they can do to exert control of their lives. 6. Support your children unconditionally no matter the outcome of their difficulties.

Want to learn more? Teaching Students the ABCs of Resilience: https://www.edutopia.org/blog/teaching-the-abcs-of-resilience-renee-jain The Road to Resilience (American Psychological Association) http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx The Essential Building Blocks of Resilience: http://fosteringresilience.com/7cs_parents.php Stanford University Resilience Project: https://vptl.stanford.edu/resilience-project Time Magazine article on encouraging students to be their best: https://goo.gl/3s06YO See your son’s counselor for additional ideas!