Mate Selection

Most people of the world marry About 3% of US population never marries U.S Census 1999

Social pressures to marry Legitimacy of children/relationship Property Stigmas against singlehood Need for intimacy Division of our world into public and private spheres because of industrialization

Who We Date

Dating in the Past 19th Century 1920 1950’s until 1970’s couples get to know each other at parents’ home (for marriage) 1920 courting with adult supervision begins (for marriage) 1950’s until 1970’s traditional dating & going steady (for fun &/or marriage)

Contemporary dating Casual dating Pack dating Serious dating (for marriage) Personal ads Mail-order brides Internet Marriage bureaus (match makers) Dinner dates Proms and homecoming

How We Meet 66% of married couples introduced by someone they knew 32% introduced themselves

The more we change the more we stay the same…. Heterosexual dating behavior is very gendered (traditional) Nontraditional dating behavior can create confusion

There are many fish in the sea, but most of us choose to stay in our own pond. Demmitt Homogamy marriage btw. people w/ similar characteristics

Social class & Dating Upper Class Middle Class Lower-Class Most homogamy Parental control through exclusive neighborhoods, private schools, country clubs, etc. Middle Class More freedom from parents but less than lower class More likely to meet at school & church, parents more likely to move away from “undesirables” Lower-Class Least likely to use structured activities for the encounters

Race & Ethnicity Education & Religion Multicultural love is more color-blind than marriage  Education & Religion

Marriage btw. 2 people w/ dissimilar backgrounds. Heterogamy Marriage btw. 2 people w/ dissimilar backgrounds.

Dating desirability level and the principle of least interest Individuals tend to date within their dating desirability level. The person with the least interest in continuing the relationship has the power to control it. The high-status person has less to lose by discontinuing the relationship and can make excessive demands on the lower status partner. Baca Zinn & Eitzen, 2002

Hypogamy Hypergamy woman marries man of lower status woman marries man of higher status Occurs more frequently in patriarchal societies where women are evaluated in terms of their husband’s social status rather than their own. Therefore, women gain and men do not lose.

What we want in our partner’s

Buss 1990 10,000 people in 37 cultures were interviewed All wanted Love Dependability Emotional stability Maturity Kindness Understanding

Buss 1990 Men want Women want Physically attractive females Ambitious & industriousness males

Mate selection around the world Dowries Transfer of goods/money from bride’s family to grooms Bride price Gift given by the groom to bride’s family Arranged marriages