LGBT Issues in Fraternity Life Mark Kalinich, 2013 DKE

Overview Why I’m Here Why You Should Care about LGBT Issues LGBT Issues in Fraternity Life Suggestions for Improvement 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Who I Am Senior in Chemical-Biological Engineering Played Football Middle School-Freshman Year MIT Love weightlifting/powerlifting ΔKE Brother Gay 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Why I’m Here Explain LGBT Fraternity Issues Suggest ways to help provide a safe and accepting environment for LGBT brothers (both in and out of the closet) 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Family Rejection Because of Homosexuality Leads to1: Why You Should Care Family Rejection Because of Homosexuality Leads to1: 8.4-fold increase in suicide attempts 5.9-fold increase in serious depression 3.4-fold increase in illegal drug use 1Ryan et al. “Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young Adults.” Pediatrics 2007. www.pediatrics.org/cgi/doi/10.1542/ peds.2007-3524 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

It’s More than Just Numbers “I was extremely close to killing myself. I now know that suicide is never a good option, but back then I thought that was the only way out of this whole mess. . . Anyway, thank you Mark, because although you didn't actively do anything for me, without knowing it, you were honestly the first positive "thing" in a sea of negative shit that was eating away at me” —email from February 22nd 2013 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Main Problems I Saw NOT: Active bullying or harassment Use and Acceptance of homophobic language Heteronormative assumption Combine to yield an environment of “passive hostility” that prevents LGBT brothers from feeling safe/accepted 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Insert Link to “NoHomophobes.com” 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Problem #1 Homophobic Language “That’s so gay” “Faggot” “Queer” “Fairy” “No homo” “Dyke” 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Language Suggestions Try to remove homophobic language from your vocabulary Speak out when others use homophobic language Discuss derogatory language use as a house 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Issue #2: Heteronormativity Basic Problem: Assumptions Coupling of Sexual Orientation and Masculinity Leads to Gender-specific Language 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Suggestions Use Gender-Neutral Language Ask supportive questions “Who were you out with/dating” Don’t assume! 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

FAQ: A Brother Comes Out4 DO: Be Patient/let them come out at their own pace.  ASK who they want to know and what you can do to help them Commit yourself as an ally DO NOT: Out them Push them to disclose information they don’t want to Make Derogatory Gay Jokes 4 “Tips for When a Person Comes Out to You.” USC Student Affairs. http://sait.usc.edu/lgbt/coming-out/tips-for-when-someone-comes-out-to-you.aspx 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Summary: How You Can Help3 Accept and Support LGBT Equality Avoid homophobic language Confront those who don’t Don't assume everyone is heterosexual. Use inclusive language (date vs. girl) 3 “What is an Ally.” University of Akron’s Lesbian, Gay Transgendered and Bisexual Union, 14 December 2009. http://www.uakron.edu/groups/lgbtu/allies.php 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

Resources/Contact Abigail Francis-Director, Rainbow Lounge afran@mit.edu Mark Kalinich—kalinich@mit.edu 2/28/2013 IFC LGBT Presentation

IFC Presidents’ Council LGBT Presentation Questions? 3/14/2013 IFC Presidents’ Council LGBT Presentation