How to Talk to Kids About Difficult Topics Deborah Gilboa, MD

Why are we Here? Moves Mental illness Deployments Divorce Illness War Death Domestic Violence Sex Job loss Drugs GLBT Alcohol Bullying

Where do Kids Learn? Parents Trusted Adults School Peers Popular culture Online

What can we teach? Responsibility Resilience Respect To gather good information To prevent danger when possible To make good choices Resilience To prepare for, travel through, and recover from adversity Respect For parents as the go-to expert For self as deserving tools and clear communication

The Plan Research the topic. Decide how much is enough. Name the value you want to teach. Ask/Listen/Talk Take a break. Talk again.

Research the Topic Purpose: build your own confidence Brainstorm questions Yours A child’s Find reliable info: Reputable websites Experts you know People you trust You might learn a few new words, but you DON’T need to become fluent in the language!

How much is enough? The Child The Adult The Values Discuss with your mentor. Find your line. Plan your response.

Take-home Point What do you want this child to believe about this topic? Give a value with your information! Write down a list of words or short phrases. Pick the 3 most important. Pick the 1 most important. Match it to this child’s age and personality. Start and end with this!

Have the 1st Talk Where? When? Distractions Short Phones/screens Mood matters! Interruptions

Nuts & Bolts “I” statements. Pre-assessment Listen (more than you talk)! Start with the take-home point. Ask and answer. You are the go-to person! End with the take-home point.

Adults matter. Tough topics are great opportunities. Responsibility Strengthen your relationship. Pass on your values. Build Responsibility Respect Resilience

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