ACHIEVING EMOTIONAL CONTROL 10 ACHIEVING EMOTIONAL CONTROL

Learning Objectives Identify the eight forms of intelligence. Explain the significance of emotional intelligence Describe how to apply emotional intelligence. List ways to deal with anger. Compare and contrast assertiveness, aggressiveness, and anger.

Learning Objectives Give examples of defensive behaviors Distinguish the various scripts that influence our actions. Explain why people “play games” in the workplace

The Eight Forms of Intelligence Howard Gardner proposed eight intelligences: Language Math and logic Music Spatial reasoning Movement Interpersonal intelligence Intrapersonal intelligence Naturalist intelligence

The Eight Forms of Intelligence Dimension Description Type of Individuals Associated with the Dimension Language People who have verbal intelligence, love language, and are fascinated by its meanings, expressions, and rhythms. Writers, poets, songwriters, and speakers Math and Logic Individuals who enjoy puzzles of logic or brain teasers are strong in this type of intelligence. Most of the standardized intelligence tests measure math and logic ability levels. Scientists and mathematicians

The Eight Forms of Intelligence Dimension Description Type of Individuals Associated with the Dimension Music Most people whose intelligence falls into this category have a relationship with sounds. If you can play, write, or read music with ease and enjoyment, you have this strength. Favorite musician or musical group Spatial Reasoning A person who excels in this area has a knack for seeing how elements fit together in space. It is physical and mechanical, and less tied to ideas and concepts. Sculptures and architecture

The Eight Forms of Intelligence Dimension Description Type of Individuals Associated with the Dimension Movement The ability to use body or body parts to solve problems is a type of intelligence. Also known as kinesthetic intelligence. Athletes and dancers Interpersonal Intelligence Deals with one’s ability to understand and deal with the world of people. Essential skill in all aspects of life, particularly in business. People holding positions of power and leadership; respected by others.

The Eight Forms of Intelligence Dimension Description Intrapersonal Intelligence Means knowledge of oneself. A person with this intelligence is introspective; They know their strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears—and can act on that knowledge realistically. Naturalist Intelligence A person high in this intelligence has an understanding of nature and natural processes. People who are happiest outdoors and have a natural understanding of the natural world have this strength. Such knowledge can raise the level of an organization’s creative output.

Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence (EI) the ability to see and control your own emotions and to understand the emotional states of other people.

Factors in understanding Emotional Intelligence Emotional competence The application of EI used in the workplace personal competence Ability to be self-aware, motivated, and self-regulated social competence Empathy for others combined with sensitivity and effective social skills

Emotional Intelligence Clusters self-awareness Knowing how to “come-off” to other people social awareness Understand the politics (attitudes, nonverbal) of your own workplace self-management Self-control relationship management Settle conflicts

Learning to Apply Emotional Intelligence A few practical approaches to improve EI are: Review what you know about self-awareness. Carefully watch others whose social competence seems to be high, who have social awareness skills that you don’t have but would like to attain. Work actively on improving your self-management skills. Develop relationship management skills.

Dealing with Anger Steps for dealing with anger: Examine your anger to find the inner causes Learn to recognize your own “flashpoints” Fatigue, excessive stress, alcohol Examine specifically what damage your anger has caused Work on developing and using conflict management skills Get in touch with what types of things help calm you down

Assertiveness, Aggressiveness, and Anger Standing up for your rights without threatening the self-esteem of another person Hurting others Putting them on the defensive http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvKIfHTYC2E&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1&safe=active

Defensive Behaviors Defensiveness inappropriate reaction to others behavior as though it was an attack. It usually comes from two sources: low self-esteem and fear.

Defensive Behaviors Common defensive reactions used in the workplace: Counterattack Involves responding with an attack when felt under attack. Passive-aggressive behavior Expression of an understated rage. Pointless explanations Stems from a belief that the other person has been on the attack only because that person “doesn’t understand.” Creating a distraction It introduces a point or fact that is irrelevant to the issue at hand; Also called using a “red herring.”

Defensive Behaviors Steps to reduce defensiveness: Take a bit of time to get refocused and get a renewed perspective. Use “I statements.” Avoid absolute words like always and never. Make positive assumptions about other people involved. Learn to separate your work from who you are.

Scripts used to explain some important facts about human behavior cultural scripts family scripts religious scripts gender scripts

Games People Play an encounter between two people that produces a “payoff” for the one who starts the game, at the expense of the other player Games are usually emotion-based activities, don’t really help any of the players. They cause damage to the organization - wasted time, lowered morale, and decreased output.

Games People Play Why Don’t You…Yes, But Blemish Wooden Leg Harried Now I’ve Got You

Strategies for Success Stopping games before they start: Work on your self-esteem. Try to remain rational, regardless of the other person’s state of mind. Try to get the other person to be rational and honest. Give positive feedback to other people. De-emphasize the weaknesses of others.